Maint. basics, exer, plan, follow through, use tools that work good starter jal-
The secret of success is constancy of purpose.--Benjamin Disraeli
Prayer for Protection
The light of God surrounds us;
The love of God enfolds us;
The power of God protects us;
The presence of God watches over us;
Wherever we are, God is!
andall is well
I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, and my life.
Thing I have done today
Went to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting
Things I will do today
1. Test blood sugar
2. Eat breakfast
3. Take shower
4. Get dressed
5. Go to church
6. Eat lunch
7. Go to the library
8. Make phone call to my ride
9. Go to the NA business meeting
10. Cook and eat dinner
11. Go to the 6:45 p.m. telephone OA meeting
12. Go to the 7 p.m. online EA meeting
13. Go to the 8 p.m. telephone CLA meeting
14. Go to the 8:30 p.m. telephone PA meeting
15. Test blood sugar
Thanks for letting me share
Please do not leave advice or feedback. Thank you. Prayers welcome.
I am recommitting, b/c I finally recovered, although I still have a bit
of a cough. I am aiming to do most of my work-outs right now, while the
sun is still out. Last time I got through 15 days by April 18. I
want to do this, for myself, my health and my ability to function. I have made it eight days, and I would like to do another seven days starting and including today. I do want to clarify that the thirty minutes (if it's not a rest day in the running schedule) need to be completed by midnight of the day so that I can practice meeting a deadline and prioritizing. My
commitment is the following:
Either one segment of my run/walk plan or 30 minutes of exercise at least everyday for seven days, comprised of the following
1) a segment of my running plan, if there is one for that day
2) any combination of the following in order to get to 30 minutes:
* walking, running, swimming, dance class, aerobics, sculpting class, yoga, biking
It's an eithe/or thing. I want to leave the door open for myself to be flexible.
Why am I doing this:
I forgot to check in on Friday because ... I was busy actually taking an action! :D
I FINALLY got this one part of my car repaired yesterday. It was shockingly simple and easy, and astounding how quickly this could have been done over a month ago. Because I actively chose to wait, I have some minor damage on my car that will need to be fixed.
But the important thing is that the part is now working.
Praise God for giving me the courage to finally make that phone call. At any moment I could have avoided it some more or hung up, but I dialed, carried on, had a quick conversation, and it was set.
There was a delay yesterday morning in the mechanic getting the right part, which caused me some extra anxiety being forced to wait longer, but it was okay.
Now, what to do about the ton of other things on the list ... unfortunately, taking one dreaded action never makes the other ones any easier ...
Not a whole lot but it's Saturday and I've got to start with that.
Things I have done today
1. Tested blood sugar
2. Cooked and ate breakfast
3. Went to the 8 a.m. telephone OA meeting
1. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone UA meeting
2. Go to the 9:30 a.m. telephone OA meeting
3. Go to the 10 a.m. telephone DA meeting
4. Prayer and meditation morning and evening
5. Take shower
6. Get dressed
7. Go to the 11:15 a.m. telephone DA workshop
8. Do numbers
9. Wash and dry clothes
10. Do housecleaning for an hour
11. Go to the 4 p.m. telephone Al-Anon meeting
12. Cook and eat dinner
13. Go to the 6:45 p.m. telephone OA meeting
14. Go to the 7:30 p.m. face to face NA meeting
15. Go to the home group business meeting after the meeting
I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone meeting, and my life.
1. Went to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting
2. Went to the telephone ACA business meeting
1. Test my blood sugar
2. Cook and eat breakfast
3. Receive phone call
4. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone CLA meeting
5. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone UA meeting
6. Go to the 10 a.m. telephone DA meeting
7. Go to the 11 a.m. telephone PA meeting
8. Prayer and meditation morning and evening
9. Go to the 12 noon teleconference
10. Go to the store
11. Do housecleaning
12. Go to the 5 p.m. telephone OA meeting
13. Cook and eat dinner
14. Go to the 6:45 p.m. telephone OA meeting
15. Go to the 7:30 p.m. telephone CLA activity line
16. Go to the 8 p.m. telephone CLA meeting
17. Go to the 8 p.m. online EA meeting
18. Go to the 9 p.m. telephone OA meeting
19. Go to the 10 p.m. telephone DA meeting
20. Test blood sugar
I am recommitting, b/c I finally recovered, although I still have a bit of a cough. I am aiming to do most of my work-outs right now, while the sun is still out. Last time I got through 15 days by April 18. I want to do this, for myself, my health and my ability to function. My commitment is the following:
Thus far walked 28s. Walked 13 minutes and change. Ran 2 minutes. Walked 8 minutes. I have about 6-7 minutes left to go.
This Irish blessing has a pattern similar to the Serenity Prayer!
"May you have the hindsight to know where you've been,
The foresight to know where you are going,
And the insight to know when you have gone too far."
Thank you to PA member Vic for contributing this image.
Another affirmation in the same pattern.
"Surrender to what is.
Let go of what was.
Have faith in what will be."
Thank you to PA member Jalla for contributing this image.
"God (higherpower) grant me ...
the Serenity to LET GO of the less useful tasks,
the Courage to ACT ON the more useful tasks,
and the Wisdom to be WILLING to know the difference!"
1. Went to the 5:55 a.m. telephone ACA meeting
2. Tested my blood sugar
3. Cooked and ate breakfast
4. Went to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting
5. Went to the 8:30 a.m. telephone UA meeting
6. Went to the dentist and got my cleaning
7. Went to the 1 p.m. telephone DA meeting
1. Do housecleaning for an hour
2. Pay bills
3. Get mail
4. Warm up and eat dinner
5. Go to the 6:45 p.m. telephone OA meeting
6. Go to the 7:40 p.m. telephone CLA activity line
7. Go to the 8 p.m. telephone CLA meeting
8. Go to the 9 p.m. online EA meeting
Okay, yay — made some progress last night.
I gathered all the info I could for the car repair, all prepped out.
Even have phone number entered in my phone, plus a postit on the phone with the number LOL...
There's nothing left to do but call. Another has bugged me repeatedly to just do it. I said the Holy Spirit will have to do it through me! My fear is so paralyzing that I require prayer to do it and it's National Prayer Day today so even better:
God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. I can do all things THROUGH Christ who strengthens me. Not by might, and not by power, but by SPIRIT alone. The Holy Spirit.
So I am *not* doing anything today — God is :)
I rebuke every spirit of fear, every spirit of avoidance, paralysis and procrastination, I bind them and command these demons to leave me now, in Jesus name. Amen!
"Surrender and Take the Next Right Action"
Success! I finally called the car repair place and have appt! :D
Wednesday was a very productive day, again largely thanks to time pressure at work, which helped me stay focussed. Productivity grade for Wednesday: 95%
Let's see if I can keep it up on Thursday:
Thanks everyone for being here!
2. Went to the 6:45 a.m. telephone OA meeting
3. Went to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting
4. Tested my blood sugar
5. Cooked and ate breakfast
6. Went to the 8:30 a.m. telephone UA meeting
7. Went to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA business meeting and activity line
8. Went to the 11 a.m. telephone PA meeting and business meeting
9. Called the pharmacy
10. Went to the pharmacy and paid for my medicine
11. Went to the 3 p.m. telephone CLA meeting and business meeting
1. Get mail
2. Cook and eat dinner
3. Do housecleaning for an hour
4. Do numbers
6. Go to the 7:30 p.m. telephone CLA activity line
7. Go to the 8:30 p.m. telephone CLA excutive meeting
Well it is kind of odd that after being away so long I came back in time for the tech issues, but still grateful to be here -- it led me to the Facebook posts where I saw the article about how to make procrastination work for you ... Which I thought was brilliant. Thanks for posting that.
I am really stuck right now and don't know which task to do first. The tasks I avoid the most involve self-care and maintenance. Why am I afraid to take care of things to the point of putting my well-being in danger? I need God to help me by bypass this tendency.
Perhaps if I use the reverse psychology as in the article, and focus on lesser, easier tasks first, the desire to do the bigger ones will kick in? This seems to be an issue of resisting what I "should" ... Or power and control... something to think about. Prayer: Lord let my will match up with Your Will for me. Amen.
"Surrender and Take the Next Right Action"
Yesterday I was completely focussed at work, largely thanks to immense deadline pressure... don't want to dismiss the fact I was 'on point' though... productivity mark: 95%
My to-dos for mañana:
Not a happy camper this morning...don't feel good. My avoidance going to doctors to manage health is catching up with me. Teeth and back hurt. Always tired. Upset that last night I went to bed instead of doing what I said. Once I lose my energy I'm done.
Love my partner but once again my codependency is causing me to put everything off. I think just because I'm in a relationship it gives me permission to not do my life. I also have obstacles like past mistakes that are making it hard to move forward. I'm overwhelmed. I don't want to be a person who always needs recovery! Still fighting it.
At work now. In a daze. Can't commit to any action today but breathing.
RisingUp? More like SittingStill
going for 1/2 hr walk
Dawned on me that I can only do one thing at a time ... :) will ask my HP what is that one thing for later tonight when I get home. Prayer: to be given ability to break it down into an action I will actually take.
1. Set up health ins. account online
Don't think of the rest until #1 is done!
1. Went to the 5:45 a.m. telephone ACA meeting
2. Scanned computer
3. Tested my blood sugar
1. Cook and eat breakfast
2. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone UA meeting
3. Go to the 9 a.m. telephone ACA meeting
4. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone UA meeting
5. Go to the 11 a.m. telephone PA meeting
6. Prayer and meditation morning and evening
7. Go to the 12 noon telephone ACA meeting
8. Eat lunch
9. Go to the 1:30 p.m. telephone UA meeting
10. Go to the 3 p.m. telephone DA meeting
11. Get mail
12. Do ACA work
13. Warm up and eat dinner
14. Go to the 6 p.m. telephone OA meeting
15. Go to the 8:30 p.m. telephone ACA meeting
16. Go to the 9 p.m. online EA meeting
So I'd say my focus level at work on Monday was about 70%... still plenty room for improvement...
here's my to-do's for Tuesday:
Hope you're all keeping well today...
3. Went to the 6:45 a.m. telephone OA meeting
5. Went to see the doctor at 8:15 a. m.
6. Went to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA activity line
7. Went to the 10 a.m. telephone UA meeting
8. Go to the 11 a.m. telephone PA meeting
9. Prayer and meditation morning and evening
10. Go to the 12 noon telephone ACA meeting
11. Eat lunch
12. Go to the 1:30 p.m. telephone UA meeting
13. Go to the 3 p.m. telephone UA meeting
14. Get mail
15. Wash dishes
16. Do some housecleaning
17. Warm up and eat dinner
18. Go to the 6:45 p.m. telephone OA meeting
19. Go to the 7:30 p.m. telephone CLA activity line
20. Go to the 8 p.m. telephone CLA meeting
21. Go to the 9 p.m. online EA meeting
(Since we cannot start new threads, I'm posting this here. That was all I could do).
When saw a photo of windmills, the first thing I thought of was the expression "tilting at windmills" from the book "Don Quixote".
As Don Quixote was traveling along upon his horse, there came into view 30 or 40 windmills rising from the plain in the distance. He misconstrued them to be giants that should be fought.
Just then they came in sight of thirty or forty windmills that rise from that plain. And no sooner did Don Quixote see them that he said to his squire, "Fortune is guiding our affairs better than we ourselves could have wished. Do you see over yonder, friend Sancho, thirty or forty hulking giants? I intend to do battle with them and slay them. With their spoils we shall begin to be rich for this is a righteous war and the removal of so foul a brood from off the face of the earth is a service God will bless."
"What giants?" asked Sancho Panza.
"Those you see over there," replied his master, "with their long arms. Some of them have arms well nigh two leagues in length."
"Take care, sir," cried Sancho. "Those over there are not giants but windmills. Those things that seem to be their arms are sails which, when they are whirled around by the wind, turn the millstone."
-- Don Quixote, Part 1, Chapter VIII.
The word "tilting" refers to medieval jousting with a lance.
The phrase "tilting at windmills" is sometimes used to describe confrontations where adversaries are incorrectly perceived, or courses of action that are based on misinterpreted or misapplied heroic, romantic, or idealistic justifications. It may also connote an importune, unfounded and vain effort against confabulated adversaries for a vain goal.
As a procrastinator, a direct interpretation could be that the windmills represent "seemingly-useful" tasks we vest too much energy in -- but really don't accomplish anything. We get all excited that we are heroically working on them -- but meanwhile we ignore what is actually more important.
Another metaphor for Don Quixote is that we might have overly-idealistic perfectionism goals -- and we can release that ... and instead remember that small imperfectly done tasks are honorable.
We can also forgive ourselves for getting distracted by what we had personally assumed was important, but wasn't. We can understand that our efforts to be "noble" may have caused us to take on too much. But we can still love ourselves. We can honor our strengths by acknowledging our inner noble nature. We can now redirect our nobility of spirit to whatever higherpower directs us to do.
However, I see something else when looking at the quoted text. I notice that Sancho Panza explains that the things we fear (the enemy giant's arms) are not what we had assumed. They are, in fact, *helpful* because ... the blades/sails of the windmill are there to catch the wind and harness the energy to get the mill working.
So ... Perhaps ... we can stop fighting what we initially assume are big scary tasks.
Perhaps we can just see tasks for what they are -- Tasks are things we can use appropriately -- to accomplish our goals.
The original mills were used to grind the grain -- to break down the grain into flour for cooking. A reminder that we can break down our tasks into digestible pieces.
There is also the concept "the daily grind" where we refer to our jobs/workplaces -- or our daily routines -- as a difficult effort, whether it refers to milling grain into flour, or grinding coffee. Perhaps we can rethink that attitude, into seeing it as steady efforts that will meet longterm goals, even if seemingly tedious.
Sometimes we refer to the millstones -- the big heavy stones in old mills that the grains are ground between. "This job is a heavy millstone around my neck weighing me down." Why think of it that way? We could choose to see our jobs as means to grind away at the tasks and to save toward the future.
On the other hand, if we are procrastinating a *needed* change in job or career, perhaps we can ask for support in that?
And from a completely different idea ... thank you to Vic for pointing out that modern "wind turbines" are there to harness the wind itself -- a renewable source to harness energy to fuel our lives. So why not embrace our HigherPower or "source" of energy instead of fighting it?
I intended to spend the day in the library...here it is now 2.30pm and I still haven't left!!! So:
ok, I already feel better. Also, important for me to acknowledge that today I HAVE done my pilates, my other (new) work-out, I've tidied the kitchen, walked the dogs, decluttered a bag of books for the charity shop, and eaten a healthy lunch.
It's an inside job...
Maint. basics, exer, plan, follow through, use tools that workMaint. basics, exer, plan, follow through, use tools that work
Wishig everyone a big supply of renewable energy today
Good morning PA!
As usual I have been MIA for a long time ... but this time for a good reason. I had a 2nd job which allowed me for a few months to earn a financial cushion that I haven't had in years. It means if I lost my main job, I would still have some money saved up.
Aside from that, the usual avoidance issues have once again risen to the surface so I must rise to the occasion and come here to sort it out.
I have neglected so many things, including fixing my car. What's worse about this is that I actually have the money to fix it, but I'm still in "poverty" mentality and feeling like I don't want to deal with anything but bare-minimum survival. Yet I am extremely frustrated by my lack of "moving forward" in many areas of my life. Basically I'm just getting by. It's not enough anymore and I need to deal with why I'm still putting things off that other people would have dealt with by now.
I am sorry that my participation in PA is so intermittent, but grateful that PA is still here.
I wish you all a great week!
I'll start with a few things to get me out the door before work:
I actually don't feel too tired yet after work so I'm on the computer to check in again and see if I can start any of my tasks to move my life forward, even if it's in some small way. Do I want to be here in 6 months in the same position in life, or do I want things to improve? That will depend on how I use my time on nights and weekends. That said, I have to be careful not to pressure myself or risk flooding and running into avoidance again.
So, I'll look through my list, and for now only pick one thing.
Let's get this week started right!
Maint. basics, exer, plan, follow through, use tools that workMaint. basics, exer, plan, follow through, use tools that work
1. Cooked and ate breakfast
2. Went to the 11 a.m. telephone Al-Anon meeting
1. Go to the 1 p.m. telephone DA Service Meeting
2. Go to the 4 p.m. webinar
3. Cook and eat dinner
4. Write three questions for tonight's meeting
6. Go to the 7 p.m. online EA meeting
7. Go to the 7:30 p.m. telephone CLA activity line
8. Go to the 8 p.m. telephone CLA meeting
I am recommitting, b/c I finally recovered, although I still have a bit of a cough. I am aiming to do most of my work-outs right now, while the sun is still out. Last time I got
through 15 days by April 18. I want to do
this, for myself, my health and my ability to function. My commitment
is the following:
Today walked 3 minutes, did run 2 minutes + walk 3 minutes for fifteen minutes. Walked two more minutes. Walked 11:21. Ran 38 seconds. Biked six minutes.
2.45-4.45 - Finish 3.5 papers marking
5.15-6.45 - Fiinish 2.5 papers marking
7pm - Meeting
8-10pm - Finish 3 papers marking and start on posts for forum.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One small step is not just much more than nothing,
it is infinitely more. (-- Clement)
And the task that seems infinite ... is finite.
Help me find the courage and faith
to start and to keep going.
Every moment can be a new start.
Maint. basics, exer, plan, follow through, use tools that work.
Hi and solidarity everyone. I've not checked in for a while because I've been very busy with a project. Luckily for me it was the right kind of busy that spurred me on instead of making me retreat into procras. A lot of things are changing at the moment, and it's meant that I just didn't feel I needed to check in. I do hope that you all are getting on OK, and if not, at least finding comfort in the fellowship here.
Today it's Sat but I have quite a few things I'd like to get done. I'm feel a bit off this morning, probably as a result of all the change and anxiety about the future, so it's important I come here to re-group.
Already got up, got breakfast and put the washing on.
Today I will:
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