Sunday 12th May 2013

The starter reminds me that the bible teaches that God is a Person, like me, and imagined me specifically before time began, and called me into existence, and in this noisy, confusing world, is calling me always to return to him, hoping that i will surrender to his perfect will, so that after my life on this earth we can live together in fellowship and perfect harmony in paradise. Not just God & me, but all who so surrender. Wow, what a story, What a promise. What a hope.

Abstinence from unplanned time.

• The one thing, the only thing, i can do impulsively is write something on my todo list.
• The one thing, the only thing, i can do off plan is recovery, something to maintain my sobriety, when tempted. I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety than to get things done.

Abstinence from relying on self. AA Big Book says to rely on God. Quoted in my bookmarks : scroll down to "AA Big Book on fears : relying on God not self-reliance:"

10:06pm
It's been 0days 00hrs 02min since i last got distracted (overwhelmed at the week, dozed off for 1 min).
It's been 1days 06hrs 19min since i last went on an off-plan bender >15min (1hr 8min, 2:39-3:47pm 5/11 kari jobe revelation song)
It's been 1days 06hrs 19min since i last went on an off-plan bender >1hr (1hr 8min, 2:39-3:47pm 5/11 kari jobe revelation song, abs his: 13,1,1 old-new)
It's been 03days 19hrs 22min since i last went on an off-plan bender >2hrs (3hrs 14min, 11:30pm-02:44am 5/8-9 raid work binge, abs his: 5,14)
It's been 03days 19hrs 22min since i last went on an off-plan bender >3hrs (3hrs 14min, 11:30pm-02:44am 5/8-9 raid work binge, abs his: 25,14).
It's been 47 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >4hrs (6hrs on 3/25).
It's been >47 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >6hrs (6hrs on 3/25).
It's been 183 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1day
It's been ~283 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1week
It's been 24days 03hrs 11min since i last relied on self. (abs his: 14)

I have to be careful about the sin of pride. Here that means looking at my accomplishments and getting puffed up about them. Saying to myself, "Look at me!" What do these counts reveal? God shaping me, a lump of clay, into a vessel that can hold his wisdom and strength. If i am due any credit, it is in permitting the Potter to shape this clay.

10:14pm : reflection on day counts : when i work-binged on 5/8-9 i felt really bad about myself. My failure was fresh in my mind, and i doubted my recovery. But it has now been 3 days since, and it is very clear that my failure was exactly the same then, as it is now, however then i felt very bad about it, and now i feel like--look--look how God kept me from another one for 3 days. I think this might help me next time i slip up to know that even tho i JUST had this failure, the next 3 days might contain recovery. That would be a great Hopeful thot, a light in the midst of my then-present darkness.

:) ci
start Instant Boss
:) v task
sched
quiet time
:) r task
:) s task
:) t tsk
:) 10am church
sort tasks
j task
prj task
*capture all * tasks here
:-( file unem
:) *buy cards
:) md cher
:) island
:) chairs
***pud raid
*client bos
*pud norton - research fri, do mon
*pud eset ra alert qstn
pud ck reception antiv alert 5/8 or 5/9
* renew pobox
* renew mbbc
pud disk - rtn
pud disk install - bill4
*h wrk - recommendation - continue
*kal
*nativ
*tx
*new pricing
*b in qb
pool
*buy foosh
pu wrk - iDev
pud fan
* jd hp nb - send back hdd
*client ku mon?
kuf wrk - recontact
later: g wrk
later: ht task
put away clothes
reflection
pre-plan tmrw

THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (everything i "did well" comes from god, either thru gifts he's given me or the way he's transformed me)

Haven't gotten as much done as I'd hoped, but now I have 2 and a half hours that I can use efficiently:
Finish draft + proofread (2 pomos)
Organize and email (2 pomos) (didn't manage to get the organization finished)
microburst mbp (1 pomo)(din't get to this)

thanks jalla, gentleness is needed.

I am having a really hard time getting things done. nothing is urgent in that potentially publically humiliating way and so i let it drift.

• show up
• test export
• long export
• clean whilst waiting
• add more 

Nice starter Jalla,

be...gentle...

Ok, I got off to a good start today but, it's Sunday and I like being lazy and listening to the radio. But the plan is to go to yoga at 1pm, and do some catching-up with uni course work for a couple of hours afterwards.

Went to yoga, then plans changed to helping a friend sort her place out, and then that plan changed because she'd 'forgotten it was sunday' and so was busy...which of course meant that I did NOT do my course work, but at least I walked the dogs and cooked some dinner and did a bit of housework. So not all bad. 

___________________________________________________________________________
It's an inside job...

I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.

I want to thank jalla for starting this trend.

Things I will do today

1. Go to the 5:45 a.m. telephone  ACA meeting

2. Go to the 6:45 a.m. telephone OA meeting

3. Go to the 7 a.m. telephone DA business meeting

4. Go to the 8 a.m. telephone OA meeting

5. Go to the 9 a.m. telephone DA meeting

6. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA activity line

7. Test blood sugar twice

8. Eat breakfast

9. Take shower

10. Clear up part of the closet

11. Go through mail

12. Clear tables

13. Shred material

14. Go to the 1 p.m. telephone CLA activity line

15. Go to the 3:30 p.m. online PA meeting

16. Cook and eat dinner

17. Prayer and meditation morning and evening

18. Go to the 6:45 p.m. telephone OA meeting

19. Go to the 7 p.m. online EA meeting

20. Go to the 8 p.m. telephone CLA meeting

21. Go to the telephone PA workshop at 9 p.m.

Thanks for letting me share