Wednesday 8th of May 2013

am i even attempting today? yeah, i guess i am, feebly.

Abstinence from unplanned time.

• The one thing, the only thing, i can do impulsively is write something on my todo list.
• The one thing, the only thing, i can do off plan is recovery, something to maintain my sobriety, when tempted. I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety than to get things done.

Abstinence from relying on self. AA Big Book says to rely on God. Quoted in my bookmarks : scroll down to "AA Big Book on fears : relying on God not self-reliance:"

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
But those who wait on the LORD will renew their strength.
they will mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
- Isaiah 40:38-41

2:36pm :
???It's been 0days 10hrs 04min since i last got distracted (phone bill).
???It's been 0days 16hrs 32min since i last went on an off-plan bender >15min (18min how to search email)
It's been 00days 01hrs 04min since i last went on an off-plan bender >1hr (1hr 7min, 1:32pm 5/8, before that 13 days abstinence)
It's been 14days 09hrs 23min since i last went on an off-plan bender >2hrs (5hrs 21min, before that 5days abstinence)
It's been 14days 09hrs 23min since i last went on an off-plan bender >3hrs (5hrs 21min, before that 25 days abstinence).
It's been >43 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >6hrs (6hrs on 3/25).
It's been 179 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1day
It's been ~279 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1week
It's been 19days 19hrs 39min since i last relied on self. (14 days before that)

Success Is Not Final, Failure Is Not Fatal

:) ci
start Instant Boss
:) v task
:) sched
:) quiet time
:-( r task
:-( s task
:-( t task
:) 11am pa phone mtg
:) sort tasks
:) j task
prj task, skip
:) *capture all * tasks here
:) pool
:) :) :) ***pud raid
*pud norton - research fri, do mon
*pud eset ra alert qstn
* renew pobox
* renew mbbc
:) pud disk - rtn
pud disk install - bill4
*h wrk - recommendation - continue
*kal
*nativ
*tx
*new pricing
*b in qb
buy foosh
pu wrk - iDev
pud fan
* jd hp nb - send back hdd
kuf wrk - recontact
client ku sat?
later: g wrk
later: ht task
put away clothes
:| reflection, did thu
:-( pre-plan tmrw

5:02pm :
It's been 0days 00hrs 59min since i last got distracted (ended 4:03pm, pc shopping, right task, wrong time).
It's been 0days 01hrs 21min since i last went on an off-plan bender >15min (36min 15:05-15:41 5/8 quick books sort timesheet)

THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER

Started the day off plan. Did not have will power to get myself back on. Strayed for 36min.
Then had great struggles for most of the day trying to remain sober.
Then after i came around, i work-binged for hours til late in the night.

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (everything i "did well" comes from god, either thru gifts he's given me or the way he's transformed me)

I am greatly thankful to God that my terrible day yesterday was spent trying to remain sober, instead of acting out. That's HUGE progress for me.
Also thank you that i got to study RAID.
And for the heater under my desk in my cold basement :)

I am the clay.
He is the potter.
He is shaping me into a vessel capable of holding His strength, wisdom, beauty, and truth.

not a good day today.  My new colleague is auditing reports, and of course many of mine aren't done.  That just makes me feel even worse!

The work is coming in faster than I can turn it round, so the backlog is increasing and I feel I never get time to work on it.  But on the other hand I have a free aftenroon in the office, and my procrastination bug is kicking in.  Partly I don't know where to start, because every time I think of starting something, I think of something else that just might be more urgent!

 Anyhow I'm going to do two blocks of 3 x 30 min pomodoros with a break between the blocks.

1. Today's reports  - did 1

2. urgent LAC reports

3. emails

BREAK

4. any urgent report I can find

5. in-tray

6. emails

HOME

H.

I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.

I want to thank jalla for starting this trend.

Things I will do today

1. Go to the 5:45 a.m. telephone ACA meeting

2. Go to the 6:45 a.m. telephone OA meeting

3. Go to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting

4. Take shower

5. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone PA meeting

6. Go to the 9 a.m. telephone ACA meeting

7. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA meeting

8. Cook and eat breakfast

9. Go to the 11 a.m. telephone PA meeting

10. Go to the 12 noon telephone ACA meeting

11. Go to the 1 p.m. telephone OA meeting

12. Warm up and eat lunch

13. Go to the 3 p.m. telephone CLA meeting

14. Fix dinner

15. Get dressed

16. Go to work at 5:30 p.m.

Thanks for letting me share