Saturday April 27, 2013

Please do not leave advice or feedback.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

Ideally I'd like to commit to longer than 21 days of exercise, but this
is a length of time I have satisfied on at least one prior occasion, so I
will start with what I know is possible for me to do.  The commitment
is thirty minutes of exercise before midnight of any of the following
format: running, jogging, a combination of running-walking-jogging,
swimming, walking, attending a fitness class (something that requires me
to leave the house), stationary biking, biking, dance class, aerobic
class, yoga, karate (or other martial arts).  I am doing this because:

1. I feel that running or exercise will force me to own up to other
   commitments in my life, because challenges in the running sphere force
   me to have other commitments in my life met so that I can exercise
   unimpeded and feel good that my investment in myself is going somewhere.
2. I want to feel good about myself when I go outside, and
3. I don't trust myself to exercise at the end of the day or at some
   point before midnight unless I make the commitment here to do it.  
4. I want to move forward with my running/jogging plan to be able to
   run/jog for 30 minutes at a time.  I want to run a marathon at the end
   of this year or January of next.  (I have always wanted to run the
   Honolulu Marathon; I don't even know if this is something I can do, but I
   want to do it.)  I have year after year pledging to do another marathon
   and have not, b/c I did not make headway on my running plan.
5. Being accountable to others by making a commitment here, helps me to be accountable to myself. 
6. The objective is to stick to the running plan by doing at least one
   training unit per day of the 28-week running plan I came up with, which
   is a slower version of the eight-week Rodale run/walk plan.  
7. practicicing being on time with this commitment, will assist me in being on time in other areas. 
8. It will also help me to practice willpower for other activities that require energy.
9. Exercise helps me to feel comfortable in what I am doing, b/c I am
   not constantly fidgeting at my desk or feeling like I SHOULD be
   running/swimming/walking or getting out in the sun or that I SHOULD have
   done those things last night.
10. Exericse helps me to avoid feelings of not  being adequate, because
    I have confidence in myself as a person interacting with others.
11. I want to build trust in myself by committing to something small
    that positively affects my whole life.  Since I'm making a promise here
    to do it, that's going to help me to keep my promise to myself so that I
    have faith in myself that at some point during the day I will exericse,
    instead of feeling like crap because I don't even trust myself to get
    to the gym or go on a walk.
12. Exercise makes everything tighter, which makes me feel more comfortable with myself and helps me to be able to live with myself.
13. I want to be able to wear the clothes in my closet, and throw out the ones that are not useful to me.

----------------

Feeling like I could use some more energy, so I would like to get some duck pasta, which means I'll need to be back in time to run which would be around 7pm.  I think the key is to start early, if I intend to run.

X eat
X dress
X get clothes
X get veggies
X do dishes
X get laundry
X spray table
X tidy room (sort of)
- buy cat and dog food
- exchange shower curtain
- work on action plan
- clean aroun parents' house
- call al

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action - Walter Anderson

Abstinence from unplanned time.

• The one thing, the only thing, i can do impulsively is write something on my todo list.
• The one thing, the only thing, i can do off plan is recovery, something to maintain my sobriety, when tempted. I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety than to get things done.

Abstinence from relying on self.

We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn't fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.

Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear. p68 AA Big Book. http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_68.htm

(too long. put this in my bookmarks instead, but do only in a designated break. until then, tolerate imperfection)

:) ci
:) start Instant Boss
:) v task
:) sched
:) quiet time, partial
11am pa phone mtg, skip
:) sort tasks
:-( j task
prj task, skip
:) mens bfast
:) range w/ jg & jd
:) pressure wash
pool
*call nona
:) *posterous (progress)
pud norton
pud disk - install - run hd tune, had errors
pud disk install - bill4
:) *ka wrk - rtn
*p wrk - rtn
h wrk - recommendation
pu wrk - iDev
pud fan
jd hp nb install hw
kuf wrk - recontact
client ku sat?
later: g wrk
later: ht task
put away clothes
:) reflection
:) pre-plan tmrw

THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER

handled the obligation to help w/ the house...somehow : God Grant me Wisdom

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (everything i "did well" comes from god, either thru gifts he's given me or the way he's transformed me)

that i came back here after a externally scheduled day.
That i realize just cuz it has a time does not make it most important (altho i did not nec. act on that today).
For the idea of "damage control" -- let off-plan binges, etc, have only the impact they have, no more thru guilt, morbid reflection, punishing myself, escaping. Just get right back on plan. "Therefore there is NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1 The past is GONE. the ONLY thing is following God right now, and from now on. The past does not exist in God's Eyes. "For I will be merciful toward their evil deeds, and their sins I will remember no longer." Hebrews 8:12
quoting "For I will forgive their sin and will no longer call to mind the wrong they have done." Jeremiah 31:34
The Bible.
Also, that because i stayed on program, i saw a task that was urgent, and i started it, and it had a built-in 24 delay that i didnt know about, but i will still be on time. This is so clearly "not me". It's just God working, and i have to depend on him at all times.