@ Vic -Thanks for post on problem-solving in checkin
Thank you so much for your post.
I run away from problems all the time. Especially ones to do with work or aquiring new clients. As of this moment I am avoiding calling a new client back after he called me following my proposal to do work. I initially avoided it because I didn't want to have the negotiating conversation. Now I am avoiding it because it's been a week and I am so very ashamed that I have come to this point. AND NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME.
How can I face him and what do I say when he asked why I did not call him? He may well be trying to give me work and I am not calling him back. What sort of person does that?
"unresolved problems that intensify the problem and waste time and energy"
This is me. All the time. My whole life. And I am reduced as a person because of it. My fear is all-encompassing. I cannot sleep well, I wake early. I cannot work well on other things. It weaves its way into my life through all sorts of channels and poisons as it goes.
I am so ashamed. And it's just a tiny action I have to take, pick up the phone. But it feels like the biggest, scariest mountain in the world. Or like standing at the edge of a cavern - the sense of vast empty danger is almost palpable.
When will I say enough? When will I have the courage to grasp the thorn and tear it from my side? When will I stop this endlessly self-destructive behaviour?