Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.


Feeling really bad about myself right now. Was angry at my husband for doing his own thing without really asking if I needed help. What I forgot is that he works a 40 hour week with at least another 8 hours travel on top. This is his first day off in ages, and he's perfectly entitled to do his own thing. I work 22 chargable hours a week most of the time, and even that is a constant battle.

Have spent the last hour in tears angry and disappointed at myself and generally feeling awful. I know there are people with bigger problems, but right now my selfish heart is distraught.

I cannot be happy it's Christmas. I've tried to get into it. I am not a Christian, and I am not a worshipper of retail therapy either. Two reasons gone straight there. Friends and family you say? Well my mum has never been one for christmas. She hates the cooking and the fact that the world goes mad at the shops. We don't have any family we are close to so Christmas was usually me and her friend J who helped bring me up, tiptoeing around trying not to cause an argument. I'm not good at being close to friends either. I haven't spoken to my best friend (although we struggle to be defined as that anymore) for a month or so even though she is going through a really rough patch with familiy illness and is spending her first christmas without her children's father.

My mother is terminally ill with cancer. She's in a nursing home and cannot walk or take care of herself. We were going to try and get her out for Christmas lunch but we've got no idea if she will be well enough. I haven't made my meal plan for the day, nor the plan for what we will do if she can't come out.

All I can think about is escaping to my MILs next thursday. It's out in the wilds, and she will make us tea and feed us chocolate and I can forget some of what makes me so sad.

I know I should take my own often-given advice. It's just one day, don't put so much pressure on yourself to be happy or for it to be perfect. Just take it as it comes. And open your mouth if you need help. No-one can help you if you don't ask for it. Don't wait until you are in a heap sobbing because you are so sad.

I'm now going to change my plan for today, and pick myself back up. Nothing is worth feeling like this. 

Thank-you for reading. I just needed to get it out.

Thank you everyone. Your words are very kind.

Thank you all for your replies. I am touched.

I did see my mum but she was not with us for dinner. She is now having difficulty in speaking too which I am very concerned about. I will call to doc about that tomorrow.

We did our best yesterday, all of us, and that was more than enough. My husband told me he was very proud of how I take care of my mother which he's never said anything like before. I just said simply that it needed to be done. But my heart is breaking at seeing her deteriorate.

I am not feeing guilty for having a freak-out. Sometimes you need to hit the bottom and bounce.

And Spazz, thanks for being there back. I could feel some of your pain radiating out of the computer that while ago, and I guess you (and everyone else) could feel mine too.

Peace to you all, whichever road you are on to find it.

i'm so sorry for your pain.

i'm so sorry for your pain. you are not selfish at all!! you are going thru some serious stuff. just because someone else is going thru something worse, does not take away from the fact that your issues are really validly serious.

at the end of the day, how would you like to look back and see yourself react to this situation? if you know yourself, and you'll be upset with yourself for wallowing etc, then make a plan that it's ok to do that but limit it. you can wallow and rant and cry for a bit, distract yourself with your version of retail therapy/alcohol/tv killing brain cells, chocolate etc. and then pick yourself up and then decide how you want to utilize your time.  volunteering at a shelter helps me sometimes to put my issues in perspective, even though it does not invalidate your own very real pain. 

Knitfisher I Am Thinking Of You Too

My words feel pretty ineffectual right now, but my dad was in a nursing home for years  & around holiday time it was the worst. I really do know how you feel (as much as anyone can).

Almost two weeks ago, I was in major melt-down mode & to tell you the truth I still am. Although I think I have graduated to minor melt-down mode now. And there you were, Knitfisher, comforting me even though you weren't sure you could find the right words. So now it is my turn & I would just like to say that I too am standing quietly beside you in solidarity.

God bless you and your mum.

Ho Ho Ho Hum

knitfisher, you have every right to be distraught. Lots of sucky stuff for you to deal with while the world says you're "supposed to be happy." And I'm totally with you on the non-Christian-who-is-not-into-retail-therapy situation.

All of that being said, good job on venting and mobilizing yourself!! I hope you find a way to have a worthwhile day, despite all of the things dragging you down. Yes, others may have it worse than you... BUT that doesn't mean your suffering doesn't matter. I'm impressed that you are able to feel your feelings and share them honestly instead of just drowning them in a glass or five of egg nog (straight or spiked!).

Sending you best wishes for peace and rest during this holiday season.