Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Letting off a bit of steam...
This thread is just to have a place to let off some steam about anything that frustrates or infuriates us.
For me, today, it's realising that the PA meeting was last night 2030 UK time and although I remembered I wanted to go *twice* during the day, I didn't remember to get there when it came down to it. AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! It was only going to be my second meeting but I really feel unsupported here so I had wanted to attend.
I know we're all living with the same kind of problem, however different its manifestations might be, and I don't think everyone owes *me* some support. But I have enough spare time to be able to offer a few minutes of support/understanding to my fellow PA members and if I do, possibly others do. Is there nowhere here in this forum for that?
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re: letting off steam
thanks for this thread, salamander,
today I just need to vent that I am really tired and stressed from dealing with getting evicted. I have no real job (but grateful for my freelance job which has the potential to at least keep me afloat), and I will be homeless in a few days. My friend promises he won't let me be actually homeless, probably will get me a hotel or something, or sleep on someone's couch for a little while, but I'm scared because that can't last. I have no money for a real place yet and I just can't believe how I'm not even really doing anything about it. I'm in sort of a daze about it all because it's enough of a job just to remove all my belongings accumulated for 6 years here.
just tired of it all!!! going through hell for the past 2 years, just want it to end. I don't deserve all this. Yet it's my fault for not applying for jobs in advance when I could have. I just stopped caring after all the life traumas I went through (nearly losing my life/hospitalization, followed by my ex leaving me, followed by finding out he was engaged to someone else).
I have really tried through recovery and spiritual means to recover myself from these messes but somehow I just dropped the ball when it came to looking for a new job, frankly because by now I wanted to be married and taken care of. I'm sick of the grind and I hate working and my mother sits pretty in her wealthy life while I suffer. It is not easy to be raised in wealth with codependent people who trained me to be this way. I feel screwed right about now.
So, thank you for the opportunity to let me share my frustration about my life and wishing I could just snap my fingers and have it all *poof* go away and turn into something much happier.
Lavida
One step forward, two steps back
My first week with PA. After 3 good days using checkin, the last 2 days, i slip backed into non-productive mode that plagued me for so long. I am trying to finish a rather lengthy piece of writing and felt the compulsion to set a lot of time to work exclusive on that task (I am a slow and plodding writing and have yet to learn to write in 15 of 30 minute stretches). As a result i did not complete my check in on Thursday and did not even check in today. Needless to say, i wrote very little and spent a lot of time feeling rather annoyed with myself. Suffice to say, i am going to get back on the check-in bandwagon. In the meantime, I need to just release my frustration with myself and write as much as I can tonight -- but in manageable pieces.
I think the most instructive aspect of this experience is that although i know what to do -- bookend tasks, work in bursts, etc. Yet, when the project feels overwhelming and as the stress and anxiety kicks in, I automatically resorted to my old behavior, thinking somehow i will get a different, better result. Think I learn my lesson, but it won't be the last time i will have to learn it. There is a whole life time of bad habits to unlearn first.
Hamlet's dilemma
Hello Hamlet
I too am a recent recruit, and like you slipped back to old habits after about a week. I recognise this cycle . Somehow the excitement at a possible solution fires me up, keeps me going for a while and then it all slithers. But here, with other slippers around me, lovely, thoughtful fellow slippers, I find I am better able to climb out of my self disgust. I am hoping - for you, me and everyone else, that the picking oneself up and starting with slow steps again will come more easily and sooner each time.
May you feel a virtual hand helping you back up.
Mole
Thank you, Mole
I agree that the encouragement offered by fellow PAs at this site is really wonderful. Thank you, especially, for that virtue hand. I think an essential part of our practice is learning to get up as soon as we can and recognize that slipping and getting up will always be part of our daily routine. I am just learning that lesson this week; and, now, I am realizing that fellow slippers make really fine company. Glad I joined PA. Thank you for being part of this community.
@Hamlet
Just a couple of words' encouragement. I've had several non-productive days, some through procrastination, some through illness. We can only do what we can do, and are going to backslide, quite possibly time and time again. After all this is just a learning process. I try to take heart from the number of things I did actually manage to get done, rather than focusing too much on what remains and a sense of failure.
If it was that easy to fix, we would have had it sorted out long before now, wouldn't we?
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin)
Many thanks, Salamander.
Many thanks, Salamander. There is a lot wisdom to your words. Glad to be a fellow traveler with you. I think it takes a couple small set backs to see the design behind the PA program, Hopefully, that means we can avoid the big set backs and put our energy towards "blooming" -- so well put by Anais Nin.
@salamander
sending encouragement. I don't have the answer, but just would suggest, keep coming back!
For movingalong
Thank you! It's been so helpful to me so far, I will certainly be coming back time and again.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin)
I know what you mean
I find it a bit frustrating that we can't give encouragement on the 'check-in' because it will stop people checking things off their list and that the rules of the meetings forbid us responding in any way to anything anyone says beyond 'thank you'!
But people do support nevertheless - it makes a lot of difference in the check-in chatroom when people throw in a word of encouragement as they post their own plans, and these forums are helpful too. I do feel a sense of community here.
ps I nearly missed the meeting myself! I came on to play games and just happened to notice what time it was!
Reply to Elvira
Hey, Elvira - thank you for replying to my post and being so encouraging. I appreciate the suggestion and will probably feel a lot more settled another couple of weeks down the line!
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin)
Support
Salamander, I definitely see your frustration with missing the meeting when you really wanted it! Sorry it happened that way for you.
But what do you mean exactly saying that you feel unsupported here? And what kind of place on this forum would you see fit for that?
Are you talking about more reactions and cheering eachother on? Because I think I can relate to that in some way. It was weird for me too to see that everyone posts stuff but there is often very little interaction. I think it has got to do with that some people do not want reactions to there postings, so we hold back in general. But I am not here long enough to be sure of that or to give more insight. Maybe it's best you describe what you are looking for a bit more?
PS: you could look for an accountability partner for more personal support, I don't know if you found that specific thread yet?
Reply to Yoh
I certainly am talking about us being able to offer a bit more encouragement as we go along, but I think that I was just having a culture shock settling in. I have to get used to the format.
I should mention that my saying I felt unsupported was not intended to be a whine or anything - it had more to do with my settling in than any persistent problem or a feeling that it wasn't friendly here.
And finally, thank you for the suggestion about looking for an accountability partner. I haven't found that specific thread yet but will look into it. I can imagine that being helpful.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin)
Accountability partners
If you still haven't found it yet, do not look any longer, here it is: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/forum/48
And as I said before, I understand the settling in feeling, but I'll remember you from now as someone who always welcomes a friendly or encouraging word. That makes me happy as now I sometimes feel like holding back when I want to react to lists or other posts.
Thank you, Yoh.
Thank you, Yoh. I think I shall try working in microbursts with people in Chat first, and then as I get more familiar with understanding where my weakest spots are, I will look for an accountability partner at that point. I have a feeling I'll be trying to run before I've worked out how to walk if I go straight for a partner right now.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin)
Support here
Hi Salamander,
Any time you see me in chat, feel free to say hello. Today is only day 2 for me. I'm in the US, so you're 5 hrs. ahead of me, but we should see each other in here for a little while! Maybe by posting in chat that you're willing to do bursts with others will encourage others. I've found that's a good way to get interaction. :)
DTL
The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to
reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the
door to personal excellence.
Reply to Dieing_To_Live
Thank you for that offer. I appreciate it and will most likely take you up on it! I think my background online has been outside of chatrooms because I find it hard to follow conversations in that format, so that may contribute to my initial reluctance to join chat. I will give it a go. Doing bursts with others is a good idea, too.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin)
Bursts
Bursts are certainly helpful, Salamander! I am getting quite bit more done, whether any chatting is going on in chatroom or not. :) You'll find a few who will be more than willing to join in on the bursts with you so you don't feel like you're working on your own.
The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to
reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the
door to personal excellence.