Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.


This is very telling. Just on a whim I'm looking up Procrastinators Anonymous, and I read the signs, and I'm so shocked--like THIS IS ME and I'm on the edge and desperate, like my husband is talking about leaving me because of my problem, that I really didn't know what it was until I had a moment of clarity and found this site. And then I try to register...but it looks like I've already been registered for almost THREE YEARS...

So I keep thinking I can get my life in order by threats to myself, or blaming it on everyone else like they expect too much of me...and then I come here and I'm reading this description. Wow. I'm floored.

I really need help, I could lose everything good in my life if I keep shirking responsibility and avoiding this issue.

I'm going to start using the tips and the forums and the meetings. It feels like it's too late, but that's all I can do.

Thanks for being here.

Thanks for listening.



yes, welcome lauraji

we have a long chain of people who come here when they're about to lose everything. Everyone who stays and works it moves along the path of recovery. Can i say that? "Everyone?" Actually, i think so!

Sadly, some arrive here after having already lost everything. Our problem can be pernicious :( :^(

There is hope! And i pray that you can recover here. I know it has been EXTREMELY helpful to me!!!

I wish you all the best!

the touch of the master's hand:

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb


Welcome LauraJ

Be confident.  Stay focused.   One thing at a time.

Welcome, Lauraji!

Welcome or welcome back, Laura!

I've been here a few months, and have found lots of friendly understanding and good things to try. My favorites are:

The Tools:

The Chatbox: (button in page header)

The daily check-in posts: (today's topic is usually clickable in the Active forum topics sidebar box on the right side of the page)

Sunday online 12-Step meeting in the chatbox (time and joining instructions described at

I hope you find the site very helpful!

wrkinprogrss aka w.i.p.


Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. I just feel like I've been here countless times before. At the 11th hour, I pull a miracle out of my butt because I CAN work hard, but then I just let everything slide, again and again. I am SOOO tired of it. And yes, now my marriage might be over because of it.

But I'm realizing I have to let go of making "saving my marriage" my goal Recovering has got to be the most important thing. If I recover, maybe I will still lose everything. But if I don't, I will definitely lose everything, and I will still be in Hell. I just don't feel like quite a whole person. 

One day at a time, right...?


do you mind if I inquire

do you mind if I inquire into what area of your life you need help to stop procrastinating in and  the kind of help you are looking for? I understand it has something to do with your marriage but what are some underlying causes, history of procrastination, triggers, related habits, previous attempts to overcome it?

long history

I have a long history of procrastination, like my whole life. I can't remember ever being caught up with my work, except under extreme duress. And as soon as the pressure was off, I'd go back to my old ways. I am working with a psychiatrist to identify what's at work, and so far we've come up with:

Out of balance parent/child/adult, if you are familiar with transactional analysis (lots of negative critical parent, lots of negative adapted child, lots of negative free child, not much adult around)

Irrational fear of taking responsibility therefore clinging to others to take responsibility for my life

Irrational fear of work, negative free child thinks that means bondage forever

I think my husband just got sick of dealing with this aspect of me and put his foot down and he is not enabling me at all anymore and I feel like I am free falling, so unsure of myself if I can do it and very ashamed to admit that I really really do want to take responsibility for my own life (ashamed based on past history, never being able to in spite of good intentions, always falling back into bad habits etc etc)

This has been good for me to share. Thank you for asking.


hug for laura

sounds like you have been doing a lot of personal work to make improvements. i've been discovering similar things. 

hope you are taking care of yourself while you get through the current challenges:) it took me about 10 years of therapy to clue in as to what they meant by self-care. it helps, even when you really just want to punish yourself for messing things up.



One reason I would punish myself is so I can be rescued by others. So I am trying to work against this trend, by being there for myself. That is why I am on this program today.

How do you understand self-care, overdue?

Please God let me see more about this so I may release it. Amen.


I know I'm not overdue, but

I know I'm not overdue, but I that's a really interesting question you ask, I've asked myself that a lot. As a student, my priority is schoolwork, but there are things I have to do to stay sane, things I have to do to feel like a person, to maintain my sense of self and identity, to have that inward sense of peace....and these are the things I would define as "self-care." If you aren't at peace with yourself, then you aren't taking care of yourself somehow. For example, from reading your post, I can see that you are a spiritual person. Probably praying is an intrinsic part of who you are, and if you didn't do this you wouldn't be taking care of yourself. "Self-care" is keeping all parts of your person in check. Your job, your health, your relationships, your spirituality, your psychology, etc. And this is different for everyone. To be able to take care of yourself, you have to know what it is you need to have that sense of self. Ask yourself what you could bear to give up or lose in your life, but you would still be you? Can you lose your husband and still love yourself? Can you lose your job and still love yourself? Can you lose your faith and still love yourself? Picture these things happening, and imagine what your life would look like. Imagine recovering, growing, and changing. When I do this, imagine losing things that I think are "most important," in my life, I find that there are very few things that if I lost, would actaully destroy me.  Very very few. Once you identify these things, life doesn't look so scary, becasue your priorities become more narrowed.


When I identify the things that have caused me to procrastinate, it's fear of consequences. That fear makes the task/job/exam seem SO important, failing so scary, that beginning tasks and staying focused is impossible. I too have then wanted to rely on others, beacuse I was scared to start an assignment myself, or just didn't trust myself as much as I trused others. What has helped me is to give myself a pep talk in my head (seriously!)  each time I'm starting a task. I ask myself what the worse case scenerio is, and how bad would that really be if I "failed." It's rarely as bad as it seems.

And if you have that sense of peace, you have something: a base to start over from again. If you like yourself, you can pick yourself up, and you don't need to rely on others to pick you up as much. And I hope this isn't sounding lecturing, this has just been the case for me. The times Ive wanted to be rescued by others was due to a lack of trust in myself. As I've worked on trusting myself, that feeling has dissipated greatly. 

(ransana) nicely said

i couldn't have even come close to expressing that as nicely :)

for years my doctors would be like "practice self-care!" and i'd just nod at them. in my view, i thought as long as i was getting some sleep, some food, some breaks here and there, that that was enough. frankly, i didn't feel like i deserved to be any nicer than that because i couldn't finish anything at all: missing deadlines, extensions, deferrals, misery, etc. You know the cycle we all go through.

it has taken me a long time to understand that if i don't take real breaks, eat 3 full meals, reward myself nicely when i finish little steps, that my ability to cope gets worse and worse. Being nice to myself isn't just some goofy bonus - it's essential to my recovery from my procrastination habits. I used to think being mean to myself would boss me out of this problem, but it makes me give up on myself and the world.

thanks, Ransana!

Very interesting thoughts--thanks, Ransana!

I had not thought about self-care being so individualized, so related to what helps us feel like our true selves. I think that might be a very helpful thought for me. Much appreciated!