Monday December 20, 2010

Hi,

Was sick this weekend. Pretty overwhelmed between the move and getting ready for the holidays.

Staying home today to catch up on unpacking and getting ready for the holidays.

Spent morning on home issues and did 1 1/2 hours of work remotely.

Basics: reading, gratitudes, affirmation, prayer; checkin/showing up; check calendar; plan to plan

List:

Exercise -go to gym later this evening - decided not to do and decorate/unpack instead.

House. Wll add for each 1/2 hour spent on getting house ready and decorating for holidays - including going to store to buy some supplies. Had to turn down multiple requests for kid sleepover so I can get caught up on decorating and house.  Plan 5 pm - 10 pm.  Went till 1 a.m. instead.

Decorating:

Dog walk

tracy-la

Thanks findingaway for the starter!! Haven't been into work since last Wednesday, including today. Another part of this disease that really kills me and my life is not showing up. Last Saturday night I didn't show up to celebrate for a friend's party, said I missed the train on Sunday to go to see Billy Elliot in the City with good friend. Could not think of facing work today again. I'm thinking of going on disability benefits, my husband will really like that!! I'm too sensitive for this world. Every since I was young I didn't show up for things. Either I was too fat, too something. I used to hide to not go to school, but my mother always knew. Now that I'm writing, guess I've had this "not showing up" for a very long time.

Really appreciate your prayers of support for my Yoffee & me, 4change, kromer, vic & journey. She is okay.

May HP bless you all today!

Today:
-work out
-laundry
-clean kitchen & floor
-clean bedroom

Kind regards all!!

♥"Careful the wish we make, wishes are children. Careful the path they take, wishes come true..." From "Children Will Listen," by Stephen Sondheim.♥

ok first things first. fix my rel @ work. it's 10:25am.

update:

well i did that, and there was something wrong with it.

then i did step 4 work. it was inspirational and helpful. a fearless and searching moral inventory. how unpleasant? but my reading today put it in perspective. http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1560#comment-44939

now it's 11:25 so both those took an hour.

Now back to work. god help me.

11:55 it's working! i feel blessed to be given the strength to persevere and the good outcome.

----------
the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb

9:20 AM: In the office, regular as clockwork, at 9:15 AM. Of course, I was supposed to be here at 9 AM. If it wasn't so irritating that I appear incapable of getting here 15 minutes earlier, it would be amusing.

Continuing themes for me are anticipatory anxiety and constantly seeking a mental distraction from it. Getting things done just feels too difficult, so I put off starting. Fear of being frustrated and fear of making mistakes factor in. 

Yesterday I set some behavioral goals for this shortened work week.They won't cure my anxiety, but if I can make myself stick to them, they might help to keep me on track towards achieving some larger goals.

Goal 1:  For four days, Mon-Thurs, will check work email at 9 AM (well, 9:15 AM, if history serves me), 1 PM, and 5 PM, with no other online activities (e.g., personal email, news, etc.) unless explicitly required for work (e.g., research for a report).

Goal 2: At home, have to complete 60 to 90 minutes of productive computer work (such as professional society things and bill paying) before relaxing with any fun stuff like personal mail, games, or whatever.

Goal 3: Go to bed at 10 PM. Routinely staying up until 1 AM, a bad habit I developed while my personal and professional lives were crumbling this year, reinforced during the period between jobs, is not conducive to getting to work on time the next day.

This will be difficult for me, since my willpower is weak. When I arrived at 9:15 AM today, I discovered that the 9 AM teleconference was canceled. My first thought was mild relief that I didn't have to sign on late, followed *immediately* by the thought, "Hey, I have an hour "off". I should check my personal emails." (!)

Back after 5 PM to report.

6:14 PM: Did pretty well until 5 PM. Never very fast or very productive, but I was able to stay with it. Right after 5 PM 'had to' do a quick runthru of my different email accounts. Amazing how quickly time slips away in that mode. Well, a few more things to do here at work tonite, then on to goals 2 and 3. No more email checking until after I spend an hour working on the computer at home.

Hi!

Maybe just a limited CI today. Up, ate breakfast. Folded & put away clean laundry from clothes dryer. Not enough dirty clothes to run a load in clothes washer. Dried and put away clean dishes from dishwasher. Not enough dirty dishes to run dishwasher again, but could put a couple of plates in there for next time. Sorting of mail needs to be a project sometime today/tomorrow, but I'm not sure when. Now will see if I can get into something else.

8:50am. Sorted through some papers. Found some stuff. Bagged 1 bag of garbage. Started another bag. Started reminder list for today. Normally I would be running the dishwasher or clotheswasher, so it seems quiet without them going. Read brief inspirational article. Sorted more papers. Made phone call about payment question; it turned out ok. Not sure what to do next. 10:20am. Studied a bit.

Have a great day, everyone! :)

Recycler

Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

Done:
Up prayer and reflection
Washed up and cleaned up in kitchen
Tidied notes on table
Checked emails
Emailed church
French study
Simple exercise - first time and taking it slowly at first

Todo:
Finish cleaning kitchen floor
Finish email to friend
Some writing about trip abroad

Might go out but it is very slippery and I could have gone out to buy two presents a month ago - note this is procrastination - not to beat myself up but to be aware

Regards Rexroth

By end of 12/20 I will

-complete excercise program

-complete two drafts of documents.

-Complete tracking spreadsheet for work problem solving

-Follow up on open work item

-Research initial work cleanup strategy.