12 STEPS

Hi movingalong. Thanks for the updated info above on the book The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, especially the free resources. 

I'm working the 12-Steps in another fellowship, and have been recommended to also get the AA Big Book. I've found a portable size edition, as well as a free edition at http://www.aa.org/bbonline/ that needs the computer software you describe above to access - or here as a series of small pdfs. (There is also the modern version EZ Big Book and online edition which looks more accessible and easier to read as a supplement to the original.) 

Many other 12-Step fellowships use the AA literature to provide a roadmap out of their afflictions, substituting the addiction for the word 'alcoholic' in their study of these life saving books. So if in the BB and in the 12x12, if one substitutes the word 'procrastinator' for 'alcoholic' and 'procrastination' for 'alcohol', say, then this can really illuminate what's behind the addictive side to our illness and inform the suggested road to recovery.  

In case it is also useful there is this free resource on getting started on working the 12-Steps, which includes under 'tools' some unofficial free Step worksheets (mainly composed of lists of questions) to give one some sort of framework for working through each of the Steps http://www.12step.org/newcomers-guide.html. Plus there are guidebooks to working the Steps such this. (BTW the link in the guide below on Step 4 is no longer active, an archived page here.)

I'm also finding that attending a face-to-face meetings in other 12-Step fellowships (such as A.R.T.S., UA etc) has helped me to find a sponsor who can take me through the 12-Step process and support my recovery.  

• I cannot or rather mostly do not accomplish homework assignments that take longer than a short period of time.
• I have been in a master's program in math two years ago, only to leave, as a result of my not being able to finish a final, not being able to pass a certain Algebra class, due to my tremendous guilt of not finishing the first final and THEN not being able to show up for classes, because I was pursuing a relationship that qualified me for one of my other twelve step programs.
• I have lost out on many opportunities due to my procrastination: an honest grade in a high school class, an A in a History class in college, and many other could have been A classes, turned into incredibly lower grades just because I procrastinated on one thing or another.
• I have gotten F's in classes because I didn't finish one thing or another, either because I did't feel capable or was too shy (procrastinatory) to ask for help.
• I am incapable of asking people for help when I need it; I try to do it all on my own, which is bubgis.
• I don't keep promises to myself; I am anxious about every commitment that I make and very often make no commitments.
• Right now I am at the start of winter quarter, looking at two incompletes in fall quarter, not anything different from years ago, and this after a year of being on the dean's honor roll.  Believe me, I want to kill myself but I cannot figure out what to do first.
• Because ofmy procrastination I often find myself in a situation where I cannot make a decision between sleeping, studying or working out, because I cannot tell which is more important, and I only have time to do one of them, whenI should be able to do all of them.
• I cannot make appointments with people.
• Because of my procrastination, I have withheld myself from social events with people.
• I have been late for dates with the few people who were willing to date me.
• I have not had a social life for much of the time,out of guilt for whatever I've procrastinated on.
• I am not on time for anything, or if I am, I am never prepared.  That is, I don't eat any food when I wake up, or I"m late.  Neither are desirable.  If I am on time and well-fed I kick myself for not taking care of some past issue.
• I cannot figure out what is most important.  My emotions and reactions lead me rather than my rational priorities.
• I am so unrealistic about what I should do to execise that I often end up not exercising at all.
• I rarely get to sleep on time, and in my current job I really need it.  On account of my not sleeping on time, I was often late to my other jobs as a contractor, an intern twice, and when I used to work a sales job. I  was almost fired, but I quit, because they were insane.  Yes, I had my part in the matter, but they were as well, thus going out of business twice, and it's best not to beat myself up for their weirdness.
• I have missed people's weddings, because I have procrastinated by talking to qualfiers for my SLAA program.  I have procrastinated going to sleep and taking care of myself, making me tired for the next day, and making it incredibly difficult to focus and work with all my wits about me.
• to be continued....

Ways I am powerless over my addiction to procrastination....

• I procrastinate by watching television, even when I do not enjoy it.
• I have a problem, or have had a problem of often running late to engagements, appointments, classes, jobs, etc.  Almost every single appointment of my life has been untimely.  Even when I was on the ball with my classes, I was always running four minutes or so.  Even when I only worked the one job I was always one minute late.  I said it was because I had to take the bus.
• I procrastinate on how long it takes me to go to sleep.  I go to sleep at incredibly late hours, after procrastinting on sleeping.
• I procrastinate on brushing my teeth, such that I often do not brush at night now and do it all in the morning.
• I've procrastinated on turning in final projects for school work, ever since tenth grade, when I did not finish a project.  It came back to haunt me, as the teacher required it and had no idea why I , who got an A on everything else, would not turn in a paper.  To him, it made no sense.
• I ruined my grades in most of my humanities class all through high school because I would forego turning in a final paper, when it would seem I were doing A work.
• I procrastinated on turning in a poetry assignment for spanish even as a sixth grader. 
• I did not deal with the situation that was troublesome and difficult for me in grad school.  I was enrolled in class insuitable for the amount of time/work I was able to put into it.  I felt overwhelmed by the amount of work compared with my lack of knowledge and the stress of working part time.
• I procrastinated on grading papers my first term of grad school, causing me to work fifty hours the week of finals.
• I procrastinated on communicating with my research professor, and he subsequently became irritated with me.  I eventually did the work he wanted me to, almost one year later. I was so good at it, according to him, that there were no consequences to my not taking appropriate action before.
• I didn't write a paper for my molecular biology class the first time I took it, causing my incomplete to go to an F.  I didn't write a paper for my Victorian Lit class as an undergrad that made it too late to change the grade.
• I procrastinated on reading books for my English class.  I know i have a reading disability that makes me feel unsuitable toward the end, and even when I do read, I read slower than other people so I feel frustrated, but I don't make use of the time I have, because I become overwhelmed by my disability and the work I have to finish.  I also have so many questions that when I procrastinate I find I have no answers to my questions.
• I procrastinated on responding to an email from a dean at CMU years ago, and thus I was suspended from school, after not following through with the appeal.  I don't know if this was a negative or a positive thing, because I felt inferiorated by the people there.
• I procrastinate leaving and getting out so much that I often miss out on whole days of leaving the house, leaving me feeling gross and unaccomplished, because I haven't gotten out to exercise and thus don't feel as motivated to work...
• I use twelve step programs, therapy, mental illness, and other things to procrastinate.
• I use procrastination as a means of making decisions for me.  When I freak out and cannot make a decision or don't feel I have what it takes to do something I procrastinate until I either cannot do anything or can scarcely accomplish one thing, thus removing choice.
• I was in an Honors program as  a math major, but I left the honor's program, because while in it, I didn't do what was necessary in order to properly study for the grad class I needed to take, namely because I was trying to minor in English by taking wayyy one too many English classes at once. 
• I used sexuality in order to procrastinate. I used alcohol in order to procrastinate, but mostly to dull out whatever romantic pain I was feeling, which in turn was my way of procrastinating from doing what I needed to do in life in order to help myself. 
• I had cybersex or phonesex and watched porn or hentai or whatever when I had work to do.  I used sexual chatter in order to procrastinate from the pain of my agenda, or procrastinate from the stress.  I masturbated compulsively in the past (years ago), instead of dealing with my reality.  I still feel the same urge to do so now, but it's not quite as bad, and I'm in another program for sex.  But it's definitely part of my procrastination.
• I used food as a means of procrastinating. I would make more food than I needed to eat, or constantly look at the refrigerator, when I had stuff to do in winter of 2006.
• I used dating sites extensively as a way of distracting myself from the pain of my experience, my isolation and my procrastination in affecting changes in my life, such as lightening my schedule that would allow me to deal with things realistically.  
• I procrastinated on reading my email recently and in winter of 2005, b/c I didn't want to know what my professors would say.  Ihave often procrastinated on looking at my grades, simply out of fear for what they were.
• I have often stayed up very late at night, and not even brushed my teeth as a way of punishing myself, making it tough for me to wake up.  When I procrastinate on major things in my life, it also makes doing other things hard.
• I procrastinate on letting go of the outcome.
• I procrastinate on any kind of formal writing.  I can journal for hours or type for five pages, but bring me to the formal paragraph and I get anxiety about it.  I have got to the point that I namely write during tests.  Timed writing. 
• All of my essays have been composed in three hours, without revision time, because I am freaked out by the notion of writing an essay or a paper to the point that i have to tell myself I will only give myself a short period of time to do it, so that I don't have the anxiety of needing to rework it, because I cannot deal mentally with big projects, even when I break them down. The entire concept of turning in a rough draft freaks me out, because it implies multiple drafts.  My rational mind thinks it's a great idea, but my emotions go wild at the notion of writing anything that should require me to take longer than one hour.
• My procrastination is so bad that if I have to do an assignment that I believe will take me longer than 1.5 hours, and is not easy, I will only do it, if I miss classes in order to do it.
• I turn my alarm clock, and often go back to bed after my alarm goes off.
• I can sometimes be compulsively avoidant, doing anything, besides what I must do most.
• I routinely make projects too complicated for myself at school.  My very choice of majors is a demonstration of my zest for complication: Computer Science,Pure Maths, English Literature.  And I only choose papers on cryptic poetry.
• I also make projects at work complicated, SOMETIMES, but sometimes I do them, and get them done.  I think my motivation here is similar to my motivation in school, mixed with ego and a need to follow-through so I get paid.
• I do not honor my commitments to personal exercise in a way that makes training feasible.  I once trained for a marathon by agreeing to run twelve miles every week for a few months, then switching to 15-20 miles.  I ended up running twelve miles on a saturday each week, and bailing out of running for two months, leaving me to walk the marathon.  finishing a marathon in 6.5 hours is no small feat, nonetheless, but obviously I could've done better if I stuck to a program.  I see the marathon as a form of binging, as admirable of an accomplishment it was.
• I obsess about conversations and situations that I have no power or control over.
• I get in my own world so much that I often miss outtings to meet other people.  I spent a whole night being worried about being single, procrastinated on sleeping.  I was forty minutes late for my date the next day.
• I'm afraid of making commitments, just as I'm afraid of making decisions so I hesitate responding and I use words like "might" and "may" to procrastinate on making a commitment to do something. Using definitive language would stress me out, because then I'd feel over-committed, which I currently am, considering the level of self-assigned priorities.

I'm not sure where I can post a first step.  Where I come from for a first step, I just list the ways I'm powerless over my addiction, and then list the ways my life has become unmanagable on account of it.  Let me know if there is something specific people are doing for the first step work.  Thanks.

Hi Pro Buddies!

What unmanageable looked like to me: I was having household & other projects to do; but would feel overwhelmed and avoid/go into Procrastination mode.

Solution: PA gives me a place to check-in daily; PA helps me feel a sense of accomplishment for the things I actually do (small or large). In the act of typing it for CI, a degree of organization is naturally added (which wasn't happening before).

Summary: on my own, I experienced powerlessness/unmanageability to a larger extent. Participating in PA gives me the kind of improvement I wasn't having on my own. Thank you, Pro & PA! :)

Recycler

Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

Thank you for posting thesteps. I could not read all the comments on step 1 because they are too painful to read. I somehow don't want to believe so many parts of my life are affected by my procrastination.

In OA, I thought if I had some recovery in food, my life would be perfect. For many years not eating or drinking was all I could focus on, and that was ok. Peeling the onion layers is hard. This huge layer "procrastination" seems impossible.

Finding this site has been a miracle. I have some hope, but somehow I feel like I am hopeless. I am more aware, the last few days I have been late to appts, jobs, etc. and I am sure I don't have to post the consequenses.

I must leave in 5 min. to get to church in time. I am going.

Thank you will check in later

I never intentionally untake Step 3, which I took in 1980.  But sometimes I find I have slowly and subtly acquired another addiction, such as procrastination. Even since joining PA and retaking Step 3 in this context, I find I have an amazing knack for resuming "control" of my procrastination - applying tips and tricks again, instead of applying the 12 Steps and Tools. For example, I once called daily check-ins my personal commitment to Step 3, but I no longer do daily check-ins. Hmmmm. This sort of thing is a warning for me.

Step 3 means I've quit playing God with my life, and I've signed on for any change in my thinking (will) and actions (life) that my Higher Power wants to effect in me. Moreover, I've signed on for a particular means of cooperating with that change: by actually doing Steps 4 through 12.  Because I am a procrastinator, I tend to think about the Steps alot, talk about them a lot, write about them alot - and only rarely actually DO them.  As with most addictions, the action is usually prompted in response to some acute pain.

Coincidentally, having once taken Step 3, failure to move ahead with the next steps generally causes acute pain sooner or later!  I heard an AA speaker put it this way: "Taking Steps 4 through 12 is the action I take that enables me to live with the decision I made in Step 3."

Hi!

I like my Higher Power :) He helped me find this program, which is already making my life better :) Thanks, HP! :)

Recycler

Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

i'm going to start doing this. i have decided that any inaccurate positive reputation i have (before myself lol), however seemingly safe it my feel, is hindering me experiencing greater recovery and connection with HP.

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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb

Hi!

Pace yourself in a written inventory: List/describe a Good Character Asset immediately after listing each character defect. This will help prevent feeling overwhelmed from listing all the character defects at once. End each journaling session with a Positive Asset!!! :)

It's helpful to have a sponsor, so they can guide you through an inventory booklet, outline, or plan.

In my other programs, I have done several 4th/5th steps over the years. Right now I'm going through the process of the final details of a divorce, plus will be moving in the next 2 months. When it's time to do my next inventory (say in a year or two), I will probably do it in one of my other programs, and include PA reflections within that 4th/5th Step which will cover larger topics such as the divorce as well.

4th and 5th steps can be helpful ways of Letting Go of the past, so we can be ready to Move On in our lives when the time is right. :)

Recycler

Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

Hi!

"As we understood God"/Power Greater than Ourselves.

Instead of going it alone as we might have in the past, now we are in a Fellowship of Companions who understand and have also wrestled with many of the same challenging thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors that we have. We can experience acceptance and enouragement within this fellowship, and also learn and have inspiration from successes and sharings of those among us. This fellowship is a resource/Power Greater than ourselves, for which we are thankful :)

This is sufficient for working the program.

For those of us who may have, obtain, or consider having an additional specific Higher Power, this is a personal understanding which can be allowed to continue to be experienced at whichever time/pace is healthy and natural for us. If it is preferable for us to not have a specific Higher Power, that is the perogative of each one, and all are welcome in the program with respect for whichever understanding is the experience and preference of each.

Just my humble opinion :) And thanks for any other opinions/experiences, too! :) Keep coming back! :)

Recycler

Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)