Thursday 11th July 2013

Abs:tinence from unplanned time.

• The one thing, the only thing, i can do impulsively is write something on my todo list.
• The one thing, the only thing, i can do off plan is recovery, something to maintain my sobriety, when tempted. I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety than to get things done.

Abstinence from relying on self. AA Big Book says to rely on God. Quoted in my bookmarks : scroll down to "AA Big Book on fears : relying on God not self-reliance:"

• I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety of relying on God than to get things done.
  • "15 Points" point 5 says:
    

    5. Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live that day relying on God, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge to rely on self may hit you.

    My Plan is this:

    1. read "15 Points"
    2. Meditate for 5 min on the attributes of God

(legit no time) ci
(legit no time) start timers
:-( v task
(legit no time) cL
:) time log
:) quiet time (did in car)
:) r task
:) s task
:) t task
(legit no time) 11am pa phone mtg
(legit no time) sort tasks
(skip) j task
:) :D :) :D do tasks (lots of errands)
:) put away clothes
:) abstinence day counts
:) reflection
:) pre-plan tmrw

12:18am (technically jul 12, weird, EXACTLY 48hrs ago) :
[not tracking <15 min anymore (for now)]
It's been 01days 11hrs 26min since i last went on an off-plan bender >15min (52min, 12:00-12:52pm 7/10 sufing qw)
It's been 03days 19hrs 48min since i last went on an off-plan bender >1hr (1hr, ~3:30-4:30 7/8 early am, watching tv; abs his: (/ (+ 13 1 1 5 6 6 3 6 8 5 1 2 5 2 3) 15.0)4.5 ave, old-new)
It's been 06days 20hrs 26min since i last went on an off-plan bender >2hrs (2hr 2min, 1:50-3:52am 7/5 early am surq; abs his: (/ (+ 5 14 8 6 12 9 8 13) 8.0)9.4 ave)
It's been 28days 20hrs 52min since i last went on an off-plan bender >3hrs (4hrs 1min, 11:25pm-3:26am 6/12-13 q surfing binge; abs his: 25,14,36; corrected 5/24).
It's been 29 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >4hrs (4hrs 1min, 11:25pm-3:26am 6/12-13 q surfing binge; before that: 78days).
It's been >107 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >6hrs (6hrs on 3/25).
It's been 243 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1day
It's been ~343 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1week (23 days til 1 year, aug 3, 2013)
It's been 28days 13hrs 33min since i last relied on self. (6/10-6/13 10:45am overwhelmed with too many medium important tasks, no MITs; abs his: 14,50)

yesterday: 266 tasks.
275 tasks today.
679 completed.

• Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?
  - yes, again, once.
• Do we owe an apology?
• Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once?
• Were we kind and loving toward all?
  - not when i was resentful
• What could we have done better?
  - remembered how god loves me even when things were irritating me.
  - gotten up earlier
  - squeezed in some program work here and there
• Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time?
  - a lot of the time.
• Or, were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (everything i "did well" comes from god, either thru gifts he's given me or the way he's transformed me)

Tons of errands done.
Good plan for tmrw.
Made choices, meaning i am not rigid in program.
Fun family time.

I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.

I want to thank Mole for starting this trend.

Things I have done today

1. Went to the 5:45 a.m. telephone ACA meeting

2. Went to the 6:45 a.m. telephone OA meeting

3. Took shower

4. Prepare and ate breakfast

5. Got dressed

6. Went to group therapy at 9 a.m.

7. Went to individual therapy at 10:25 a.m.

8. Went to Mass

9. Cook and ate lunch

10. Cut onions

Things I will do today

1. Warm up and eat dinner

2. Go to the 6:45 p.m. telephone OA meeting

3. Go to the 8 p.m. telephone CLA meeting

4. Go to the 9 p.m. telephone OA meeting

5. Go to the 9 p.m. online EA meeting

6. Do numbers

Thanks for letting me share

fax pesnion thing  cal JG

tax find continue  COBRA rent and camp

bal cb 10 mins pay R Esgrau

SA and blood 

 email clem

there are no gains without pains

Ben Franklin 

Thank you, O Mole, for starting the thread.

For me, just being here is an important step to recognise.

Apart from that, I intend to:

• Change cat trays and wash them outside
• Clear the washing up

Take break

• Sort out the dining table
• Put the computer there with the speakers
• Change the bedding

Take break

• Scrub upstairs carpet
• Transfer cat and kittens to master bedroom
• Hoover their bedroom and bring in cardboard box for Lily

Take break

• Take 15 minutes to tidy up the mistress bedroom
• Take 15 minutes to meditate
• Make salad (inc potato salad) for dinner

Take break

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin)

I AM AT MY WITS END THINGS ARE PILING UP AND I KNOW THAT I AM LETTING PEOPLE DOWN.

Today I have already: 

• Had breakfast
• helped DH put shower curtain rail back up
• had a shower 

Today I will: 

• Do work for P (5 poms) one long phone call plus 2 poms
• Text/email S
• Prepare for W (at least 1 pom)
• Ask P about X and SE vs Emp
• Call insurance co
• Put wash on
• Get wash out
• Wash up
• Clean bathroom cabinet
• HAVE LUNCH
• Smile

Thank you for the day starter, you gorgeous Mole!

before work:

get up 04:30
laundry
clear table

after work:

more laundry
write & mail math paper
scan & mail math test
clear desk, window sill
go swimming

I didn't get it all done, though I worked all day, straight through from morning to bedtime. On the one hand, I don't have to have a bad conscience. On the other hand, I'm always shocked by how long everything takes me to do and how little I can achieve with all these working hours.