Wednesday 26th June 2013

wrong day. enjoy this picture

Always impressed by people who can knit and walk. I can knit without looking but I'm not sure I would trust myself to walk at the same time... ;-)

Today I have already:

• had a good breakfast
• went for a run
• had a shower
• collected my boots from the repairers

• show up
• plan work here
• clear up
• call mum

Abstinence from unplanned time.

• The one thing, the only thing, i can do impulsively is write something on my todo list.
• The one thing, the only thing, i can do off plan is recovery, something to maintain my sobriety, when tempted. I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety than to get things done.

Abstinence from relying on self. AA Big Book says to rely on God. Quoted in my bookmarks : scroll down to "AA Big Book on fears : relying on God not self-reliance:"

• I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety of relying on God than to get things done.
  • "15 Points" point 5 says:
    

    5. Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live that day relying on God, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge to rely on self may hit you.

    My Plan is this:

    1. read "15 Points"
    2. Meditate for 5 min on the attributes of God

:) ci
:) start Instant Boss
:) v task
:) cl
:) time log
:) quiet time
:) r task
:) s task
:) t task
:) 11am pa phone mtg
:) sort tasks
?capture all * tasks here
j task
do tasks
put away clothes
reflection
pre-plan tmrw

11:46am :
11:26:00 ‹clement› need to take hold of this day, not just sit here. i have a task list, so just start doing it...
11:26:05 ‹clement› Lord pls help me not waste time today.
11:26:29 ‹clement› i can feel biological resistance forming in me. Can my mind and my God counteract that?
11:28:55 ‹clement› ok that was almost on plan. it was not idle, and something i need to do, on my list, but not next thing... the resistance is hard. I need divine intervention

11:42:05 ‹clement› ok that was email. 11min. just had the urge and just did it. still waiting for God's deliverance
11:42:23 ‹clement› ok i opened my schedule / time log
11:43:00 ‹clement› next up: take vitamin. have to go upstairs for that. I dont want to. I perceive it as aweful.
11:44:29 ‹clement› research suggests that what's happening to me right now is that going up staris to take vitamins causes dopamine depletion in my brain, meaning i experience it as a negative phenomena, instead of a trivial neutral one.
11:45:03 ‹clement› "15 ponits for an alcoholic (procrastinator) to consider when confronted with the urge to take a drink (go off plan"
11:45:36 ‹clement› can be thought of as a dopamine tool--read that brocure and use IDEAS to raise the level of dopamine so that what previously felt negative now feels positive.
11:45:39 ‹clement› I'm gonna try that.

11:59am :
11:48:09 ‹clement› i already did my one triple-starred task today, so that's good
11:49:06 ‹clement› in the midst of an urge to look something up and read it, but resisting.

11:58:33 ‹clement› I thank God that he has let me believe that i can look no further than the next 1 task. Just complete that for now, forget about the rest. So liberating

12:01pm :
12:00:34 ‹clement› This often helps me, and is today:
12:00:35 ‹clement› 13. Cultivate gratitude:
12:00:40 ‹clement› d. Gratitude that you are a chronic procrastinator - you are not a bad or wicked person but you have been in the grip of a compulsion

12:55pm :
[not tracking <15 min anymore (for now)]
It's been 00days 10hrs 07min since i last went on an off-plan bender >15min (1hr 20min, 1:28-2:48am early morning 6/26 anxious surfinq)
It's been 00days 10hrs 07min since i last went on an off-plan bender >1hr (1hr 20min, 1:28-2:48am early morning 6/26 anxious surfinq; abs his: 13,1,1,5,6,6,3,6,8,5 old-new)
It's been 05days 08hrs 13min since i last went on an off-plan bender >2hrs (2hrs 5min, 2:37-4:42am 6/21 early morning surfinq; abs his: 5,14,8,6,12,9,8 )
It's been 13days 09hrs 29min since i last went on an off-plan bender >3hrs (4hrs 1min, 11:25pm-3:26am 6/12-13 q surfing binge; abs his: 25,14,36; corrected 5/24).
It's been 14 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >4hrs (4hrs 1min, 11:25pm-3:26am 6/12-13 q surfing binge; before that: 78days).
It's been >92 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >6hrs (6hrs on 3/25).
It's been 228 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1day
It's been ~328 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1week
It's been 13days 02hrs 10min since i last relied on self. (6/10-6/13 10:45am overwhelmed with too many medium important tasks, no MITs; abs his: 14,50)

5:52pm : reflecting on Day Counts : in 37 days it will mark the first year in which i did not lose 1week or more due to procrastination.

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day (BB).

• Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?
• Do we owe an apology?
• Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once?
• Were we kind and loving toward all?
• What could we have done better?
• Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time?
• Or, were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (everything i "did well" comes from god, either thru gifts he's given me or the way he's transformed me)

I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.

I want to thank jalla for starting this trend.

Things I will do today

1. Go to the 5:45 a.m. telephone ACA meeting

2. Go to the 6:45 a.m. telephone OA meeting

3. Go to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting

4. Take shower

5. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone PA meeting

6. Go to the 9 a.m. telephone ACA meeting

7. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA activity line

8. Cook and eat breakfast

9. Prayer and meditation morning and evening

10. Read the meditations

11. Go to the 11 a.m. telephone PA meeting

12. Go to the 12 noon telephone ACA meeting

13. Go to the 1 p.m. telephone OA meeting

14. Go to the 1:15 p.m. telephone CLA activity line

15. Warm up and eat lunch

16. Go to the 3 p.m. telephone CLA meeting

17. Get dressed

18. Fix dinner

19. Go to work at 5:30 p.m.

Thanks for letting me share

Thank you dear jalla.  How do you manage such beautiful thread starters. 

7.30 cafe

9-12 work on next steps 

1 walk to NH prov new project 

3 appt w E ask about app

4 -6 ?podcast?

Cook and eat healthy meal.

admin

relax

check in

HONOUR T'S WORK

bed by 11

THINGS I HAVE DONE WELL

i did what I set out to do - even though some was by the skin of my teeth 

COULD HAVE DONE BETTER

remembered B in hospital earlier, should have made a note 

GRATEFUL FOR 

the three old men who wanted their photo taken

the woman who  knitted and walked

E's excruciating treatment

that I can walk ffurther

the moon