Thursday, 30th May 2013

just one priority thing to do today:  EUFCM

I was reminded yesterday of the usefulness of check-ins... So, here we go:

Showered

Now: get dressed!

Half-hour clean up

school

Meeting w T

Respond to S - it was very good to take action on this

Call C

Get envelope ready for Z

Come back here and add as necessary

TIGER!

Do not disturb yourself by picturing your life as a whole; do not
assemble in your mind the many and varied troubles which have come to
you in the past and will come again in the future, but ask yourself with
regard to every present difficulty: 'What is there in this that is
unbearable and beyond endurance?' You would be ashamed to confess it!
And then remind yourself that it is not the future or what has passed
that afflicts you, but always the present, and the power of this is much
diminished if you take it in isolation and call your mind to task if it
thinks that it cannot stand up to it when taken on its own.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Abstinence from unplanned time.

• The one thing, the only thing, i can do impulsively is write something on my todo list.
• The one thing, the only thing, i can do off plan is recovery, something to maintain my sobriety, when tempted. I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety than to get things done.

Abstinence from relying on self. AA Big Book says to rely on God. Quoted in my bookmarks : scroll down to "AA Big Book on fears : relying on God not self-reliance:"

:) ci
:) start Instant Boss
:) v task
:) cl
:) time log
:) quiet time
:) r task
:) s task
:) t task
:) 11am pa phone mtg
:) sort tasks
:) *capture all * tasks here
:) :) j task
prj task, skip

:) brk: ** mci
:) brk: p job
:) brk: tivo bill again
:) brk: dcu rf
:) blog f.c. balance
brk: log c.s.l & j
brk: ust lb
brk: sw
:) brk: bku lt
:) brk: ck on b,r,d
:) brk: *kal busi form added 5/14/2013 - 1 hour
brk: crit art
pud disk install - bill4 - 15 min
brk: pool - 30min

* * w8
:) * * l.c. desc
:) * * call l.c.
*lc sign form
*pud raid - 4 hrs
pud av i - 5 hours
g wrk - 4hrs

*tx - 4hrs
*nativ - 20 min
pu wrk - iDev - 2hrs
bill client ku - 30min
kuf wrk - recontact - 15 min
later: ht task
:) put away clothes
:) reflection
:) pre-plan tmrw

10:44am :
It's been ? since i last got distracted ( ? )
It's been 00days 20hrs 36min since i last went on an off-plan bender >15min (21min 13:47-14:08 5/29 email 4d,3m,1d,6h,3d.2d,1d,4h,1h,1d,12m old,new)
It's been 03days 18hrs 05min since i last went on an off-plan bender >1hr (1hr 30min, 3:09-4:39pm 5/25 youtube q; abs his: 13,1,1,5,6 old-new)
It's been 06days 08hrs 03min since i last went on an off-plan bender >2hrs (2hrs 43min, 11:58pm-02:41am 5/22-23 qtweb; abs his: 5,14,8,6)
It's been 20days 08hrs 00min since i last went on an off-plan bender >3hrs (3hrs 14min, 11:30pm-02:44am 5/8-9 raid work binge, abs his: 25,14; corrected 5/24).
It's been 65 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >4hrs (6hrs on 3/25).
It's been >65 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >6hrs (6hrs on 3/25).
It's been 201 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1day
It's been ~301 days since i last went on an off-plan bender >1week
It's been 40days 11hrs 51min since i last relied on self. (abs his: 14)

THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER

I worked so slow today. 50% speed probably.
I did not experience Joy, even tho i love the God of Joy and the God of Joy loves me. There was one blip of Joy today, actually. Dont discount that. Wait that was last night. Still.
I dont think i evaluated priorities right today. Dont know how to fix that. God, this is a good place for you to step in.
Didnt really start working til 2:30pm.

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (everything i "did well" comes from god, either thru gifts he's given me or the way he's transformed me)

2 of my sons got an award.
Another day of slogging thru recovery, with little brain-chemical reward. The spiritual idea that this is "Good" is overcoming the lack of dopamine. In the past i would have escaped these last 2-3 days, instead i plodded along doing my MITs. And they are done now. It's weird.
Happier relats w/ K.
My daily habits are paying off.
I'm gonna save another $70/month on my phone bill.

Thanks dear Mole - just what i needed to read today!

• readings
• HIO
• tidy
• r appt
• feb r 12
• cook dinner
• appt
• pool and rehab
• march r 12
• april r 12
• rehab excercises
• HIO 

Here I am.

Today is work for P day. But other things too. There are a few short, annoying, things I would like to get done. You know, the ones that hang around waaaay too long.

Today I have already: 

• Had a great breakfast (always surprises me how much breakfast I can eat)
• showered
• got dressed
• spoken to P 

Today I will: 

• Do LP work for P (6 poms ?) done 2/6
• Do W exp work for P (3 poms)
• Wash up (it's only pans - will take 10 mins max! :-) )
• make rocky road :-)
• washing in dryer
• hang washing
• review and send assignment
• email new client
• HAVE LUNCH
• Check what's for dinner
• do strength workout
• call clearance people

This morning at 05:00, I felt like I was already running late and would never get anything done, and was generally depressed. So, I wrote down what I did. Now I'm feeling better.

05:00
get up, morning routine
answer mail
do dishes

06:00
put 1st batch of laundry into machine
backup database
mend clothing (2 zippers, 2 holes, remove 1 scratchy label)

07:00
put dried rain clothing back in backpack
answer mail (yes, again, and yes, it was necessary)
make tea
breakfast
shopping list
pack swimming bag
thread new shoelaces into sneakers

08:00
wash breakfast dishes
clean open box with tins etc. on top of fridge
label 2 spice jars (so I can tell them apart from above)
inventory kitchen utensils on top of fridge

09:00
check in
put 2nd batch of laundry into machine
hang up 1st batch of laundry to dry
inventory stuff standing on the left side of the fridge

10:00
dinsentangle cables on right side of fridge
inventory stuff standing on the right side of the fridge

11:00
talk with new house owner about new rental agreement

12:00
put 3rd batch of laundry into machine (winter duvet)
take down 1st batch of laundry
hang up 2nd batch of laundry to dry

13:00
store away 1st batch of laundry
inventory long-term stuff in fridge (medication, cosmetics, ice pack, ...) - first half

14:00
inventory long-term stuff in fridge (medication, cosmetics, ice pack, ...) - finished

15:00
put 4th batch of laundry into machine
hang up 3rd batch of laundry to dry
take down what's dry and store away
inventory some more
lunch

16:00
wash dishes
online banking One transfer worked, then technical problems. Need to go to bank tomorrow!

17:00
correct A's English homework (by email)

18:00
hang up 4th batch of laundry
go swimming!

19:00
still swimming
take down rest of the laundry

20:00
don't forget to drink something!
store away dry laundry
hang up moist laundry in cellar
unpack swimming bag

21:00
measure flat - I tried, but it's difficult - can't find out where the roof slope ends, there are unmovable cabinets in front everywhere
draw room plan - same here

22:00
still trying to measure it right
check out

23:00
go to bed

tomorrow:
get up at 05:00
come home early (15:00) so I can go to bank
go to bank
try to measure flat again
finish plan
mail house owner (room plan, address L)
study new rental agreement thoroughly... questions?

I hate this, I hate this... worked all the time (except for swimming, and there I only stayed for a little more than an hour), will get too little sleep, yet it is never, ever, ever enough. I can't remember a day when it was.