Saturday, 4th May 2013

Please do not leave advice or feedback.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

Ideally I'd like to commit to longer than 21 days of exercise, but this
is a length of time I have satisfied on at least one prior occasion, so I
will start with what I know is possible for me to do.  The commitment
is thirty minutes of exercise before midnight of any of the following
format: running, jogging, a combination of running-walking-jogging,
swimming, walking, attending a fitness class (something that requires me
to leave the house), stationary biking, biking, dance class, aerobic
class, yoga, karate (or other martial arts).  I am doing this because:

1. I feel that running or exercise will force me to own up to other
   commitments in my life, because challenges in the running sphere force
   me to have other commitments in my life met so that I can exercise
   unimpeded and feel good that my investment in myself is going somewhere.
2. I want to feel good about myself when I go outside, and
3. I don't trust myself to exercise at the end of the day or at some
   point before midnight unless I make the commitment here to do it.  
4. I want to move forward with my running/jogging plan to be able to
   run/jog for 30 minutes at a time.  I want to run a marathon at the end
   of this year or January of next.  (I have always wanted to run the
   Honolulu Marathon; I don't even know if this is something I can do, but I
   want to do it.)  I have year after year pledging to do another marathon
   and have not, b/c I did not make headway on my running plan.
5. Being accountable to others by making a commitment here, helps me to be accountable to myself. 
6. The objective is to stick to the running plan by doing at least one
   training unit per day of the 28-week running plan I came up with, which
   is a slower version of the eight-week Rodale run/walk plan.  
7. practicicing being on time with this commitment, will assist me in being on time in other areas. 
8. It will also help me to practice willpower for other activities that require energy.
9. Exercise helps me to feel comfortable in what I am doing, b/c I am
   not constantly fidgeting at my desk or feeling like I SHOULD be
   running/swimming/walking or getting out in the sun or that I SHOULD have
   done those things last night.
10. Exericse helps me to avoid feelings of not  being adequate, because
    I have confidence in myself as a person interacting with others.
11. I want to build trust in myself by committing to something small
    that positively affects my whole life.  Since I'm making a promise here
    to do it, that's going to help me to keep my promise to myself so that I
    have faith in myself that at some point during the day I will exericse,
    instead of feeling like crap because I don't even trust myself to get
    to the gym or go on a walk.
12. Exercise makes everything tighter, which makes me feel more comfortable with myself and helps me to be able to live with myself.
13. I want to be able to wear the clothes in my closet, and throw out the ones that are not useful to me.

-------------------------------------

Today I ran two minutes, walked two minutes X 8, then walked two minutes.  Then biked forward for four minutes and backward for two minutes.  

Oh yeah I did it, b*tches.  I am soo effin proud of myself.  This is a major milestone for me.  Go me!  It's funny to me that someone once told me (inappropriately) that my goal was unrealistic and gave undesirable feedback.  Because the reality is that I did it.  My goal is now a reality, and whoever said that I was being unrealistic is unrealistic, because this is the reality.

Now I am starting a new commitment.  And why am I doing this?  Because I want to move forward in some way on my running plan.  Even if I end up walking each night, I always feel good when I go on a walk, even if I'm disappointed in myself for doing that instead of running.  Because at this point, my walking has led to my jogging/running, so I am accepting of my walking days.  They get me somewhere; they got me here.  And that is really important to me, b/c it's not about the exercise, it's about following through on a personal commitment and effin' doing it.

Must do a serious housework blitz!

Kitchen first, since it's the smallest job

• Fill dishwasher
• Wash up non-dishwasher stuff
• Run dishwasher
• go Sainsbury's
• Phone Mum
• Sort recyclables
• Clear kettle worktop

Show up (done), exerr, plan

Thanks for starter Mole, and reminder that with HP/program, I am doing the impossible , grateful  for the fun.

" I've learned that my recoveries aren't
isolated from one another. Many of us recovering from codependency and
adult children issues are also recovering from addictions: alcoholism,
other drug dependency, gambling, food, work, or sex addiction. Some of
us are trying to stay free of other compulsive disorders - ranging from
caretaking,(procrastination) to compulsively feeling miserable, guilty, or ashamed.Recovery is one big room we've
entered called healthy living."

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie 

Love the colorful starter Mole - on my phone it showed a message and ehre its lovely pictures- both are great! thank you- i needed a dose of pink today! Have a good day dear Mole and all.xoxo

• readings
• tidy 
• rubblish out
• laundry
• text c and g
• org b
• s and h
• journal 
• let go
• listen to new albums
• accounts
• check b

• make lunch
• check letters and r for cw
• set up for 10 r and x
• go to meeting 
• pool and rehab
• make dinner 
• skype g & d
• do 10 r and (two hours)
• ms
• HIO