partial recovery after 4 years program + 3 months attempting abstinence
I joined this 12-step program on the web, 5 years ago, and i have attended phone 12-step meetings for 1 year, and i have been attempting abstinence from unplanned tasks, for 3 months. God has used all that to form definite changes in my life that have stuck.
- quiet time every day. I miss 1 day every 2-3 weeks. A MAJOR enabling recovery piece has been to LIMIT my quiet times. Limit in time and complexity. Otherwise they would get out of hand and be unsustainable. Another major piece is making friends with routine.
- Take multivitamin almost every day (5+ days / week)
- self-care morning routine almost every day (5+ days/ week)
- getting enuf sleep. I started losing my memory and 3 dr's said it could be due to sleep deprivation which i had. Staying up too late. Sleeping 7-9hrs per night cured this. Thank you God!
- I no longer stress out (and spend hours searching the web) about "what's wrong with me?" I now know what's wrong with me. I have been in the grip of a compulsion to go off plan. Probably chemical dependency is involved; brain chemistry dependent on compulsive behavior.
- This is not recovery, per se, but comfort, that aids recovery. Nobody around me IRL could understand that for no apparent reason i simply can't get myself to do easy tasks. But at PA i am surrounded by gr8 ppl who know exactly what i'm talking about, first hand. That's great and helps me greatly.
- When i have my worst weeks, when i have zero motivation, feel horrible, and get nothing done, i have a new, rock-solid, unshakable faith in God that somehow, someway, it will end, and recovery will begin again. This is not something i try to have. It is simply something that i find already present within myself. God has rescued me enuf times that i have come to expect it. It is more like the faith i have that the sun will rise each morning.
- microbursting - i still get overwhelmed with tasks, and get the feeling that i will never finish. Almost always i have the strength, and i remember, to use microbursting, breaking the task down into trivial pieces, almost always gets me moving again. It effectively puts "blinders" on me, so that i stop paying attn to the overwhelming whole and only pay attn to the next step. That always enables forward progress, and always almost improves my mood.
- restarting - failing and restarting have become an ingrained habit. I restart now out of habit. By "habit" i mean it's automatic and i almost find myself doing it without realizing it.
- I had a 2nd degree ankle sprain and part of the PT recovery was balancing exercises on one foot, which strengthens the muscles of the ankle. But i am usually all-or-nothing, black-or-white so after the main therapy ended, i would normally just end everything. But fulfilling one of the promises i was able to begin imperfectly and now i put my shoes and socks on every day balancing on one foot then the other. This had noticeably improved my balance in the rest of the maneuvering that comes up in my everyday life. There are many other things i should be doing for my body, but at least in this area i have been able to prevent the "not doing" from taking over this single "doing".
- Employing the tool "use small blocks of time" i have used little 1-minute windows to stretch several times thruout the day. I used to be able to reach my mid-thigh. Now i can reach my toes regularly, and after a few min of stretching, the floor.
I had NONE of this before starting this 12-step program.
So when i get discouraged at the long road still ahead of me, i should not ignore the gifts that God has already given me. He gave them to me so i could appreciate them, because He Loves me.
Some phrases that inspire me
- Serenity in productivity - as a possible opposite of procrastination
- or, Positive Productivity
- In control of tasks and time - as a life goal.
- Effort + Time = Results
- Effort, sustained over time, produces Results