Saturday, 2nd March 2013

Please do not leave advice or feedback.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

• If I wake up within one-hour of an appointment, I get up or call or otherwise contact the office, institution or person to tell them I'm not coming in.  In the instance, of a professional appointment, I leave a message the night before, if I do not plan on being present, and I plan on waking up an hour before I need to leave the house in order to be at the appointment on time.
• I brush my teeth, floss, use listerine and a periodontic brush,before I go to bed at night.
• I go to bed at night.  Meaning I do not sleep on the couch, b/c it's not good for my back and chiropractic appointments are expensive.
• Provided that I have not taken a full shower in the last day, I cannot take another half-shower, until I've taken a full shower.(Been holding true to this one, it was established last time.)

shower

dress

phone call

check in

eat

work on schedule for project

email schedule

dinner and family time- discuss tomorrow's plans, repair issues, gym?

sleep at 10  

Abstinence from unplanned time.

Abstinence from relying on self.

10:20am : It's been 1min since i last went off plan.
It's been 8min since i last relied on self. I had a good run going there (3days+) but i slipped this morning. The 12 step program is about looking forward, primarily, only looking back to make corrections for the future. What can i take from this one? I dont know. I got upset, and i let it get to me. I came here to stop it. I went to God. I opened myself up for him to work on me. It has partially worked. I'm not sure what i could have done differently. But i think i know the answer (i am guessing some readers may think i just contradicted myself). The answer is simply to "wait on the Lord." He will in due time stout-ify my reliance on Him alone.

:) ci
:) v task
:) sched
:) quiet time
:) r task
:-( prj task
:) sort tasks
:) do tasks (headlight)
:) do tasks (oil)
:) do tasks (milk)
:) do tasks (movie)
:) do tasks (clean)
:) pre-plan tmwr

4:24pm : It's been 3 min since i last went off plan.
It's been 6h 12min since i last relied on self if you dont count the 1min i slipped up.
It's been 2min since i last relied on self if you do count the 1min i slipped up.
at 4:21 i felt a wave of urge to "use" wash over me. I nearly drowned in it. I grasped for my lifeline, in this case "15 points for an procrastinator to consider when confronted with the urge to go off plan." And it is working. All my life i have wanted this, some switch i could throw to turn off the impulsive task choice, and turn on the next right action / most important task choice. For the last few weeks / months, this "15 points" has been it.

As soon as i say that, tho, i remember my own history. God has a passion for me depending on him, and not myself. He does not want my salvation to be a brochure, or a technique, or a program or even a fellowship. He wants to be my salvation. He, himself, personally. He wants me to look him in the eyes and derive strength from his love for me, his strength, and his faithfulness, regardless of my circumstances. Even more that that, he wants me to look at Him more, and me less. He wants me to look at my circumstances and see Him more, my circumstances less. If i fix my eyes on God, it does not matter my circumstances, good or bad, they are a far second, and God is first by a mile.

"And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose" - Romans 8:28

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8:31b

"Keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith." - Hebrew 12:2

"Keep thinking about things above, not things on the earth." - Colossians 3:2

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss...compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things." - Philippians 3:7-8

"I have experienced times of need and times of abundance. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of contentment, whether I go satisfied or hungry, have plenty or nothing. I am able to do all things through the one who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:12-13

9:26pm : it's been 2min since i last went off plan.
It's been 5h 4min since i last relied on self. God was really with me. I got 3 important urgent tasks done tonight. And i have been given a heightened awareness of when i take credit for God's work. I felt it after my successes and i was able to surrender mostly and give credit in my own mind to god. Now pre-plan tmrw.

• Exercise
• Look for job
• Go into town, get batteries
• Food shop
• Clear dining room table
• bathroom heater
• email chapter re sat