Saturday 12th January 2013

1:37pm : it's been 7 min since i last went off plan. Note i've been working on my MIT huge, long, difficult project for 2 hrs. But i have not been on plan. I've been binging, impulsive, obsessive, addictive in slavery and bondage, not free to choose the best task. Evidence : if there was a 5 min task that was very important to do today, i'd miss it in my addiction.

I committed to the 12:30pm phone mtg that i would have my quiet time. At the 1:30pm phone mtg i hadnt done it. So i will tear myself, rip myself away from my MIT huge big task and spend some time with God. I need to trust him that it will be ok. And i kindof do, but only shakily.

:) ci
:) quiet time
:) pj task
sort tasks
l task

1:47pm : it's been 3 min since i last went off plan. Re-starting.

1:54pm : For by grace you have been saved thru faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. - Ephesians 2:8-10

That is exactly what i needed to hear. Instead of focusing on my fear of failure, instead focus on God's gift of grace to me, salvation in this life and the next, and the good works which he has prepared for me to do. God, i want to do those good works. Please enable me and guide me like you have been, and like you are right now! This gives me confirmation that i can trust you. I feel so much more at peace (well, at least much less stressed :P)

2:10pm : It's been 26 min since i last went off plan. With my quiet time i made a list of many things i'm thankful for and that got me all pumped. God is good.

3:00pm it's been 1h 16min since i last went off plan. That feels good. Like i am within God's will. I am doing both MIT huge task and littler, still important tasks.

Feeling a little too resistant to a comprehensive to-do list, so for now: 

-pomodoro one

-break 5 min 

-pomodoro two

-break 5 min 

-check in

 things to think about: 

-party

-meals for week

-bills to pay/budget 

Work 6 [so far 1 done]

Start job app at some point this weekend, but only after work is completed [MUST SUBMIT BY MONDAY MORNING!]

Do 1 hour daily of outstanding project: 3 days each one, due Friday

Go to storage at 5:30pm

Walk 1/2 hour 

1/2 hr stretching: calf, hip, ptilt, abdom 1 set

1/2 hour toning

Bible/Prayer

Keep track of: water, meals, supplements, breathing

Lit/Insp. Reading 

NO LONGER A PRIORITY:

New project: just do what you can each day, at least $50 very early/late in day

[so far $50 done]

SUNDAY: 

Decide what to do about claim?

Thanks for the thread started, Jalla.

- call landlady about water tank details & payment
- pay landlady
- balance budget
- update h schedule
- finish as much as possible of presentation
- 4pm - mom birthday lunch
- exercise
- finish PRL

To-do lists have become very intimidating for me. Going to try to cross off everything on this one.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action - Walter Anderson

Thank you for starting the thread Yalla and many thanks to all of those who sent their best wishes during our bush fire disasters

Washing

Cafe

get bread from P 

9-12.30 brainstorm chapter 

walk 

lunch

2-4 to Pr for mem 

walk 

pick up papers

wash up 

A for cuppa

immediate planning: exercise, admin

long term pplanning

water garden

EAt 

work out treat for S 

watch Poirot 

work on check in for tomorrow 

Bed 11