Allovertheplace's Intro- stuff about me
I am a lifelong procrastinator, always late and managed to get by because I was never too much of a problem. I always managed to get decent grades, so I think the lateness and disorganization was always overlooked. As I got into university, things became more challenging and depression reared it's ugly head. Once that was better controlled, I still could never 'get myself together.' It took huge amounts of effort to get myself to work and to manage things. And oh, the facade I can present. It has been very useful for getting by, I suppose. And add in a little pinch of perfectionism and it's the perfect storm for procrastination.
After seeking consults from a variety of experts, I finally landed on a diagnosis of ADD. I never in a million years thought this would apply to me but it makes a lot of sense. However, as many people have said, piils don't teach skills. And though medication is very helpful, I still struggle everyday with staying focused on what my priorities are and making it through the day without getting completely overwhelmed (I usually am overwhelmed by 9:30 am if not earlier!). I frequently take on more than I can realistically handle. Because of the facade I can present and the huge amount of stigma around ADD and procrastination difficulties, I find there are few people and places I can go to find support and community where these issues are better understood.
I fall on my face constantly. I screw up everyday. I have complete meltdowns and question whether it's worth it or if I'm worth it. It often feels like I'm just hanging on, juggling all these balls in the air. I wonder whether today's the day I'm going to lose my job. I hope I am getting better at picking myself up, believing in myself without needing as much validation from other people (this is a hard one!) and just trying to move on.
I'm not sure what else to say here except I am very grateful for the wealth of information and support on this site. I am amazed at the work Pro has done to make this happen and keep it going. That's about it for now.
I'm happy to be here.