Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

gotmusikk - Introduction!

HALLO!

I am a 20-something musician, and have been procrastinating since grade school.  From what I can tell so far, I struggle with:
-- demand sensitivity/resistance
-- not knowing how long a task will take
-- time bingeing

I'm not sure yet about the extent of my addiction to procrastination, but I do know that it numbs the critical voice inside if I'm filling my head with cooking-blog, Facebook, noisy feel-good fluff and not taking action.  I have a feeling that if I find ways to soothe the critical voice AND work on the procrastination using techniques such as microbursts, "I want" instead of "I should", it'll get better.

I already did a good job of 15 minute bursts today to do the dishes and some other unpleasant tasks.  (SO HARD TO NOT DO IT FOR LONGER!, and to not chastise myself for stopping!!)  I think what will help the most is check-ins, chatbox and phone meetings, but ironically those are the things I'm most scared of!  I'm not used to relying on other people for help, and think that "I should be able to do everything perfectly all by myself"...

SO, I wanted to ask all of you:
1)  What has been the hardest part of overcoming procrastination?  Accruing the right information?  Knowing yourself and knowing where to start?  Applying the solutions you've found?
2)  What has been the most helpful aspect of this community (or the things you learned from this community)?  Is there anything you did after a while that you wish you'd done sooner?

Thank you for all of your positivity and care, and looking forward to talking more with you.

-- gotmusikk

(gotmusikk)

Welcome. Thank you for your questions, they invite shares of experience, strength, hope.I hope you keep coming back.

I "crossed the line" of procrastination when I crossed the line of "substance addiction" in 11th grade and then college. My life became a yo yo . With recovery in substance additions, many issues surfaced, adhd, codependency, ACOA,fear, etc., etc.

My HP led me here. I feel my procratination is so blended with other issues, that it has synthesised into ???. Analysis. I am sure, will continue for the rest of my life, I keep trying to know the big "why". I keep finding the same answer, "why not?"

Most helpful for me in PA:

1. People who "understand" that which could not be understood, explained anywhere else. People blessed with so many talents, intelligence, etc., etc.,  and suffer, are tortured inside because of this thing. Nowhere else but here is that "inner desperation" be understood.  People who support each other and truly happy for the success of others. I did not have to live in shame I was no longer unique or alone.

2. A place to "check in" and connect 24/7. I use this site as my "sponsor" By "showing up" everyday (a true miracle for me because I lived the yo you concept), I connected to others. At times,. that was all I could do, but I was able to do it here and it made me feel like I could be successful with something.  At times I tried to quit, and the people here cared enough to write and ask me back.

3. A place I could ask for help on the chat line. and a place I can be humble enough to admit I need help. Sometimes that is all I do, but I admit it to myself, when my hp, who then was able to workwith any willingness I could muster.

Those are some pretty amazing things as I write, I have not found any other help place like this, at least none that worked for me. I don;t know what recovery from procrastination really is,but I do know I am so much better than I was, have hope, some more inner peace, less shame, definitely more optimisim of completing goals, and know I am not alone, and these are the people I want to be with.

Being a musician, some lyrics from B. Heath that I have found to be a solution here, (take what you wantand leave the rest):

"Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don't

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you

When my heart won't make a sound
When I can't turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you 
"

Hello vic!

Thank you so much for your thoughts and the warm welcome!  I love the song lyrics... I want to look up the band now and find the song :-)

Yes, this place is a GREAT support network, especially for realizing that you're not a weirdo and you're not alone, and that by being kind to each other and ourselves we can begin to accept it and change it. 

I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well on your journey.  Thank you once again for your positivity :-)

__________________________

"Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?"

-- Pema Chodron

Thank you tamtam!

Hi tamtam,

 Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts.  I can definitely empathize with the need to stay with my feelings if I want to be productive, and also with the social aspect of the website being IMMENSELY helpful. 

I think I'm realizing something funny:  I think I'm a closet extrovert!  My mother is extremely introverted (or so she says) and always hated on extroversion; my dad is a businessman and always was touting the need to network, which felt slimy and forced to me.  SO, somehow I ended up at the conclusion that extroversion is BAD and introversion is GOOD.  Of course, I'm now realizing that these are arbitrary distinctions, each has its share of positive and negative, and that I might not be as introverted as I once thought.  That's where I'm stuck for the moment... it feels strange to realize that what gives me fuel is what I was taught to look down upon, and I'm not sure how to proceed from there.

One of the "reasons for procrastination" can be an unrealized inner truth.  It's definitely an addictive compulsion for me too, but this procrastination has definitely been numbing me out to investigating who I really am.  This is a revelation. 

A bit of a tangent... :-P  Anywhoo, I so appreciate your comments, and your ritual of reflecting upon the day is one that I've adopted in my check-ins.  Thank you again!, and keep on keeping on!

__________________________

"Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?"

-- Pema Chodron

You've got mail...

Hey, gotmusikk -- I sent a message to you via your Procrastinators Anonymous contact page back in the middle of December. If you never got the message, please let me know. If you did get the message, great! There's no need to write back, unless you'd like to write back, which would of course be lovely.

Piqued

Hi Gotmusikk

Nice to meet you in the Chatbox today. You are a professional musician? That is impressive!

Now to your questions:

(1) What has been the hardest part of overcoming procrastination

- i will tell you that when I have overcome it! :-)

For me, starting psychoanalysis 30 years earlier than I did would have been helpful. Or some kind of therapy, counselling anyway. My problems were never things I was going to be able to get over on my own. 

 

(2) The chatbox can be very helpful, if I am in the right mood ...

Good luck in the struggle! All the best,

Hooch

Hello Hooch :-)

Just seeing this today-- Thank you for bursting with me! :-)  It's so much fun!

__________________________

"Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?"

-- Pema Chodron

Welcome gotmusikk!

Sorry I missed your introduction until now, but welcome! I found myself nodding my head a lot while I was reading your story. 

The hardest part, for me, is keeping a steady pace. When I decide I want to get "back on track" I tend to time binge productively, feel really good about it, and then either get burnt out or feel like "I did a good job yesterday, so I can take it easy today." And then continue to procrastinate like crazy. Slow and steady isn't as satisfying as pulling an all nighter to complete something--but it's sustainable.

I wish I had started doing micro-bursts or pomodoros earlier/more consistently. It really helps with the deman resistance for me. Instead of feeling like I'm undertaking a huge task, I'm only focusing on the next 10 or 20 minutes. I can do almost anything for 10 minutes!

Best wishes,

TR 

Hi tabularasa!

Apologies for the late reply - I didn't see your comment until now! :-P  Thank you so much for the welcome and for your thoughts.

YES! - not time-bingeing when being productive is very difficult to do, and the resulting slacking also difficult to avoid.  I guess we just have to keep reminding ourselves that life is a process, not a "thing" to succeed or fail at in a singular shot. 

Also.... forgive me if I'm not getting this correctly...
I think I said something to you on the chatbox a few days ago when you were feeling down, and I was trying to give advice.  It was only after I typed it that recalled one of the tenets of P.A. is not to give advice, but instead share personal experience in a hope that it will help the other.  I felt badly afterwards and hoped that you took it in the spirit I meant it.  I'll have to watch myself for that from here on out!

Anywhoo... thank you again for your kind words, and I hope to see you around.  Best of luck in your anti-procrastination endeavors and otherwise!

____________________________________________________________________

"Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?"
-- Pema Chodron