Wednesday 21st November 2012

routing
check in on PA
Gather files for C copy
Gather files for BC copy  
check air pressure
gas in car 
take movies back
assign projects to myself in L 
read
a. SNSA
b. SMo
c. G
lunch
water plants
clean dead plant
create spread sheet
Email about spreadsheet

I am grateful for my procrastination, because facing my severe limitations has humbled me before God, forced me to turn to God systematically for help, made me a more generous and forgiving person, and more tolerant for those with a different struggle. In short, it is just one tool God is using on the journey of growth into himself that he's planned out for me.

7:57am : It's been 1min since i last went off plan. I went off twice for 1 min each. Cumulative 25h 17m in the last 13 days.

8:00 am : it's been 1 min since i last went off plan. For 1 min again. That's 3 min today, Cumulative 25h 18m in the last 13 days.

:) quiet time
:) plan
:) S
:) do tasks

9:20pm : a job opportunity arose today so i shifted tasks to go for it. And had some family issues. And then i spent about 1hour off task. just kinda slipped into it. It's ok. But i'm not back on task yet...

10:40 pm : Hi i'm clement and it's been 2 min since i last went of task. Hmm that actually made me feel better. I had 20 min on task then 40 min addicted game-play off task. But i am not off task now, altho i feel strong withdrawal symptoms.

10:45 pm : Hi i'm clement and it's been 1 min since i last went off plan. And i think with this one i finally figured out what is so magical about saying that. It screams new beginning. Even if it has been 1 minute, it firmly draws a line between past and future. My off-task was in the past. My future starts now with me being on-task.

10:49 pm : Hi i'm clement and it's been 1 min since i last went off plan. new beginning. And i can see by my 3 recent episodes that i'm not in good shape. And i had no plan, but one came to me and it is:

quiet time
microburst cover letter

that will work, i know it. but i still dont want to do it. Which is how i know i'm an addict. I want my hit over my life goals. Textbook description of addiction behavior. Akin to a junkie who needs another hit and it's all they think about. Altho the junkie is worse, cuz they can be listening to their boss tell them they are close to getting fired, and still all they think about is their next fix. But mine is not that strong. It's only when the goals are at some distance, not when they're staring me in the face.

10:56 pm : it's been 8 min since i last went off plan. Wisdom from my quiet time already :

For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God's righteousness. - Romans 10:3

This is at the core of my problem. I am thinking about this as something I do, rather than turning it over to god. Well i'm willing to turn it over, God, but i still find myself grasping at it. I as you to do the rest. And i feel a release of it from me. Thank you.

11:11 pm : it's been 1 min since i last went off plan. New beginning. I can sense that the moment i realize i'm off plan, that's the moment the new beginning starts. Before that 17 min on plan.

11:14 pm : it's been 1 min since i last went off plan. Mind wandered and started daydreaming during that last post. Clearly i am weak this eve. And the quiet time is going very well. Back to it.

11:16 pm : it's been 1 min since i last went off plan. New beginning. That one was different. More subtle. I'd be lost without this form, checking in, new beginnings, and this idea of abstinence.

11:18 pm : it's been 1 min since i last went off plan. Apparently God has provided an infinite supply of new beginnings ;)

11:29 pm : it's been 1 min since i last went off plan. At least i was on plan for longer that time. But no matter. I have a new beginning starting right now.

11:54 pm : it's been 1 min since i last went off plan. New beginning right now. But i was on plan for longer, 25 min. The stretches are getting longer tonight. That's God working on me. Cuz my quiet time went very, very well. Very productive. I'm gonna plan for tmrw.

Let your purpose rule your day - Steve Chandler

Show up (DONE), CAL, EXER

Thanks for starter Jack. My "issues" and addictions keep me on my knees, looking up, and that is where I need to be to live this life happy, joyous and free.

Praying for willingness to be willing.one more day.

Done:
Up prayer and reflection
Checked emails and posts

Todo:
x Finish letters - priority for today - done and it was so difficult and they are not perfect but they are done
Possibly some other admin but not instead of letters
x Out for some food shopping between showers
x Tidy kitchen for workperson coming this afternoon - he is here and nearly finished
x Sometime conversation with friend if she phones - she did and it was a long difficult and emotionally exhausting conversation which was also very constructive
x Put on washing machine
x Write journal
x Prayer and reflection
Bed and sleep

Report in at 15.04 Done above and can't wait till worker leaves to crash out for a while.

It is 22.25 and I am in bed and very tired.

Good Night Everyone Rexroth

Regards Rexroth

Thanks Jack! Not sure I can think of how to be grateful for my procrastinating - but it's almost worth having it because it feels so much better when I do less of it!

Here's Wed

- Do C.D. paper

- Send C.D. paper to bd.

- Get up J's ref emails

- Do J's ref

- Send J's ref

- Rewrite opening to LA chapter

- Make new project/task/writing schedule up to Dec 14th

- Write to GB re no Thurs

- Write up J's obs

- write to J with time for meeting

- Meet with TW - 1.00

- ES meet - 2.00

- SL meet - 3.30

- If time, start work on other refs

- Write to J

Phew, one of those days where lots of unplanned stuff cropped up so this list doesn't look much like my day at all. Quite a bit to transfer to tomorrow .