Cold sweats and finding PA
To Pro and all the PA'ers on this site,
THANK-YOU for being here, from the bottom of my heart.
About 6 weeks ago I woke in a cold sweat thinking about my pile of unstarted or incomplete tasks. When I got up I searched the internet for something, anything, to help me. Then I found this site and read through stories that were so similar to my own. I had such a feeling of relief and empowerment. I learnt about demand resistance and similar concepts and had major aha moments. I felt like maybe, just maybe, with your wisdom and support I could work through these destructive habits and find a new way of working. Since the first day of finding the site I started the process of change and I now do the following;
- each day I fill in a notebook on what I need to do . This includes about 8 not-negotiable items (like exercise, taking my iron tablets, forward planning for the next day etc)
- Purchased and read the Procrastination Equation
- Using the free Pomodoro timer on the internet
- Disabled the incoming email alerts
- And most importantly I have read through this site for guidance and inspiration.
My weaknesses are 1. Accounts, 2. Tax and tax 3. Completing business work 4. Keeping in touch with friends
Before I sign off I want to share with you a remarkable thing that happened to me this morning and thanks is due to PA for giving me the strength to do this. A year ago I worked with a client and it was all going well and then, as it sometime does, it all went wrong. So I froze and I didn't talk to anyone about the situation (BIG mistake). I felt SOOO bad about it that I was literally unable to get back to my client to help them out. I felt dreadful about myself and beat myself up for a year about it. But being a procrastinator I did nothing about it. Then due to an unexpected link between where I am temping and this previous client, I was suddenly faced with the situation that my failure would be exposed. For the last 3 weeks I have known that this situation had to be resolved. For the last week contacting the old client has been on my daily list as a must do - and never got done, I couln't face it. I also couldn't work out how I should do it, in person, by phone, by email - and I let this indecision stop me taking any action. Naturally I left it till today when my current employer and this client are meeting to do something - ie left it to the very very last minute. I searched this site for inspiration under apology and found a thread about someone sending an apology by email. Having read it and the responses to it, it took me only 15 mins to pen a suitable apology and I hit send before I could change my mind. 10 mins later the phone rang and it was the client. He said hi and being a professional, I burst into tears. He then said he thought working with me was great and he wondered why I had not kept in touch etc etc. Long conversation later and we are having coffee in a week and all is forgiven. I can't believe that is the outcome. I want you all to know that your support and just being there was what got me over the line in the end. However I should acknowledge the cost of not taking this action earlier...
- A year of anxiety
- No payment for the time I worked with him (I couldn't bring myself to invoice him)
- The lost opportunity of working with people he might refer me on to (he's very well known where I live)
- Losing faith in myself and my ability to provide a service in my field - I sufferd from a huge loss of confidence
- The ability to talk to my current employer about working with this person and their organisation.
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A big thanks to everyone
A big thanks to everyone for your support and comments. It's overwhelming to be able to finally be totally honest with other people about all this stuff.
Thank you for sharing your
Thank you for sharing your story, Harrier.
The year of anxiety... That is me exactly.
This procrastination behavior is such a major contributor to the anxiety and pain I feel. Every single day, I swear I am going to be fired from my job. Every day! Ack, it's crazy.
Oh, I've been there. Not exactly the same of course. But the client relationship, the something going wrong, the freezing. I cut contact with a prospective new client because I promised something I couldn't deliver. I didn't answer calls or emails for 3 weeks. I finally sent an apology email after they complained to the person that had referred me. I couldn't service their requirement so losing the client was inevitable but the stress I could have done without. It took me a while to start answering the phone after that.
It must have taken a lot of courage to write that apology. I'm glad it worked out ok for you, although you have sensibly acknowledged the effects of your procrastination.
Onnwards and upwards.
awesome story of hope in recvoery.
inspirational to me. Thanks!
fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb
hi harrier this is so
this is so so familiar to me, the shame and the hiding. I am glad it owrked out and I am glad you are here.