Tuesday November 13, 2012

13 November Anno Domini MMXII -  Tuesday
Today I am grateful to the Lord for my neighbors and friends.

[ JOY -      Jesus, Others, Yourself ]
Jesus:      Memorized Hebrew alphabet.
Others:     Helped neighbor lady run errands.
Yourself:   Do, Doing, Done.

Do
-     Laundry.
-     Find paperwork for job hunting.
-     Integrate checkbook register with envelope system.

Doing
o     Dishes.
o     PomoBurst 1.
o     PomoBurst 2.

Done
*     Picked up groceries with neighbor lady.
*     Updated private, daily SimpleNote check-in.
[ Habit Loop - Cues, Usualness, Reward, Encouragement, Scaffolding ]

If not now, when?

1. FoY Exercise

2. meditation

3. review OR domicile requirements

4. conf call

5. call nancy

6. call Kathleen

7. shop for material for pate, chicken dish

8. eat 3 healthy snack

9. work out writing/learning plan

10. gardening blog

What? I just lost my post before I could post it? Grrrrrrrrr! Just what I need!

ok, we'll, here goes again in a briefer form!

relax

go to phone sstore

go ask for sat off/ get ddinner

home/ eat dinner 

get ready to go

go

home

relax

8:15 organize games/ videos/CDs/DVDs/ttapes write cards

laundry

Felt I fell off the wagon for the past few weeks and have not been checking in. My procrastination is worse then ever!

I saw a psychologist yesterday who has recommended CBT. She says she can get me into a program in about 1 1/2 to 2 months. There's no way I could afford CBT in private practise as I'm not making any money. Even if I had supplemental insurance with an employer, I would have limited coverage for treatment provided by a psychologist.

So I feel that I'm part way on the road to recovery!

Work for rest of the day:

1. Review group assignment.
2. Read chapter on pronunciation
3. Practice pronunciation
4. Run
5. Pay MC
6. Review tenses
7. Review grammatical terms
8. Go to grocery store and map out lanes for class

Evening

1. Wash dishes
2. Handwash clothes
3. Sort clothes to do laundry on Wednesday

It is 16h here and what I have done so far today is:

faffed, ate stuff, read internet, more faff, dr appointment, swept up leaves, ate chocolate, faffed, ate more stuff.

What I plan for the rest of the day:

4 Sessions working on the Accursed. Consisting of 

(1) 25 min work + 5 break

(Blaagh)

(2) 25 min work + 5 break

(eeee)

(3) 25 min work + 5 break

(fffffffffffs)

(4) 25 min work + 5 break

(I cannot say I enjoyed that very much.)

SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING after all

I know this and yet all I feel is dread about opening the file...

Ah well, here goes.

Good luck all,

Hooch

Update: 19h here now. And I did sit in front of my work for wooowooo 2 hrs!!! Thanks to PA for being here.

9:33am :

was on plan from 9-9:25 but

I'm clement and i have an addictive personality and it's been 1 minute since i last went off plan.

I intend to live my life facing forward, planning on not going off plan, not looking back to how long it's been.

I can feel less strength for this today. God grant me today the strength to pick myself up, and work my program one day at a time. Or one hour at a time. Or 10 min at a time.

1. quiet time
2. plan
3. tasks
11am pa phone mtg
1pm wk mtg.

10:24am :

i can't tell how long i've been on plan or off plan.

A new area has come into sharper relief :

There's an app i depend on that had a problem. Fixing that is on-task. But in searching for a solution--also on-task--i at times went too far, explored related things.

So, when an app i use is broken, i have to define a limited response that is on-task, and not go beyond that. And i have to watch myself more closely than usuall ( which is more closely than normal people to start with ) while trying to solve it.

I believe that's in the "courage to change the things i can" category.

10:51pm :

Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.

But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known [...]. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. Romans 3:20-25

Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded. On what principle? On that of observing the law? No, but on that of faith. For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law. Romans 3:27-28

Incredible after what i experienced and wrote above to then have this the next verse in my bible reading.

This completely absolves me of the flaw in my character that can't resist chasing a cool idea. I will be judged not on that flaw, or even how i deal with it, but rather whether i believe that Jesus died for those sins. I will hide behind Jesus on judgement day, and he will vouch for me as one of his one, one he has called.

And then, he will turn around and give me new strength and insight and power to help me work on the problems that i have.

It's all about him, not about me.

oh, and the desire to chase that idea has ebbed.

12:41 pm :

forced corporate reboot and the reminder i set for myself i set for 8pm instead of 8am. Dang.

This has me all discombobulated. That's my nature, something i can't change. serenity.

i dont know how long it's been since i went off plan. Here's where i need wisdom to tell the difference.

courage to change the things i can. i have a headache. withdrawal. i can simply go back to my plan for the day. That is something i can do. God be with me. God help me. Do not be anxious, with thanksgiving, ask. Dedicate the next task to god.

4:31pm :

mtg at 1pm went well. post mtg let down

problem w/ to do mgr but i fixed that by cutting my losses ( unnatural ). however, now it's fixed. not perfect, but workable. And yet now i still want to fiddle w/ it. That's the addiction talking. So i am here, staying on-plan and abstinent.

next plan...

5:46 pm

it's been 1h 15min at least since i last was off plan. Before that i did not have the wisdom to tell the difference.

i REALLY feel like i need a fix.

But i'm going to stay on plan. That, is God gives me the strength. Could i could *easily* waver.

6:59pm :

i did stay on plan til about 10 min ago. It's now been 3 min since i last went off plan. I have a headache, which may very well be withdraw symptoms.

back to next task. there is one obvious one. so i'm going to do it.

Working from home today and NOT in the mood.   Yesterday was a holiday and Thurs/Fri I am taking vacation days to take a short trip with my mom.   So, it feels like I should be on vacation today also.  

I will make my todo list now, then exercise for 30 minutes and have breakfast.  I'll check back when those are done. 

update 10 am - the above are done as well as email and following up on a reported incident.   Now change into 'work from home' clothes, have 10 minutes of quiet time, then get started on my MIT for the day.   I don't have any meetings today thank goodness.  

Jo 

Let your purpose rule your day - Steve Chandler 

Thanks Lennon

• Up early
• tidy
• HIO
• readings
• look at b notes
• look at c rpts and k letters
• write list of ds
• write m i now 
• write synopsis of w h
• go to uni 
• print out 
• ring sponsor
• edit
• email drafts to d, m v
• write pros and cons
• HIO
• journals add to database
• call dr b
• rechedule d ob m
• groceries
• pool and gym
• rehab excercises
• accounts
• HIO

thanks for the starter lennon

the specifics

• gym
• speak to d at 10.00
• work on images work try to get finished enough to email
• 1hr on proposal.
• do washing for weekend away
• check if tickets for sunday have been bought.
• speak to a re project and tickets
• start fridays email

the constants

• eat with mindfullness and kindness.
• no napping.
• be careful with money.

Thanks for starting us off again, Lennon.

Here's my day.

On train, plan 4pm meeting

9am meet L

Go through G's An chapter correction - worked on this but far from finished

Do An chapter rewrites- worked on this but far from finished

Finish longlisting admin apps

4pm c.d. meeting

Eve - go to theatre with students