Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

going to bed late, help please


so i went to bed past 3am for no reason whatsoever, messing about on facebook ect, today now i am tired and moody..i habitually do this, i read somewhere it's the things we have to do before bed which makes us put it off, brushing teeth, washing ect..any suggestions please


Dear Jay

This is so familiar to me - and I have been meaning to post about it, especially after reading jack's check-ins. So glad you started this thread. What a very positive outcome, of your midnight owling.

For me  I think it is for the most time about Demand Resistance. I was constantly told as a child that I couldn't be tired, that relaxing was weak-kneed and self-indulgent but also that if I went to bed after a certain time that was bad too. And there is often a certain glee of defiance as well as self - loathing in staying up way too late.

But I also agree with you that the chores of going to bed : teeth, getting undressed can loom very large, and as I write this I am wondering whether doing these things quite early in the evening so that there is nothing more to do than getting into bed when the time (whatever time that is) comes.

I know Jack has mentioned loneliness as  one of the dreads of going to bed and there are sometimes other  things that eat away at us at night when we cannot fill our minds with distracting things. I do remember being very impressed  by a woman, recently widowed, to whose house I had been a dinner guest  with a couple of others. While standing in the hallway getting our coats when we were leaving, I glanced into her bedroom . The door was invitingly open, a lamp cast a golden light, there was a book on the bed table, and the bedclothes had been folded back. I think, but I may be making this up) that there was music playing quietly. She must have set it all up earlier - even while organising a dinner.  I have never managed to achieve this, but it remains so vivid. And thanks to your post, dear Jay, I am going to see if i can move from Sarah Paretsky's mode (teaching her children to close bedroom doors, rather than struggling to get them to clean up (I am child rather than SP in this scenario)!

Be kind to yourself today, jay, give yourself rest-times. And a book that you want to read as a special treat in bed as Jack suggests.




bedtime procrastination, a common issue!

Hi Jay

The fact you have posted this message is a huge step forward to hopefully bringing relief to your bedtime procrastination.  Admitting there is a actually problem is a powerful first step.

Chronic overtiredness seems to create a cycle of late bedtimes, drowsy unproductive guilt-filled daytimes then more late bedtimes. It's a tough cycle to break.

I suffer from this too, but have been much better after reading the following posts which have shed some light on my bedtime procrastination: 

Mad at myself                                                                          

Compulsively stay up late / procrastinate bed   

Bedtime procrastination may be connected to Demand Resistance, something which you could consider looking at long term:   

Demand Sensitivity and Demand Resistance  


Short term I suggest working out an achievable bedtime routine for tonight, so you can gently calm down your mind and get ready for bed, and perhaps posting this up up on the check-in board, details at the top of the P.A. homepage.  Then you have something public to hold you to account. I you are still compulsively avoiding bedtime, then maybe set your alarm for your desired bedtime, and go into the P.A. Chatbox to briefly get some moral support before going straight to bed.

Currently I'm reading a little bit of the book The Procrastination Equation before I go to bed each night, which I'm finding heart-stopping with its insights yet strangely comforting! 

Hope this helps!  


thank you jack

i'll read it tomorrow, must go bed now;)