Newbie knows procrastination is addiction
Hi, I'm a newbie.
And procrastination is ruining my life. Procrastination or avoidance. I can do plenty of hard enough tasks. I even have a PhD...in Math. And my work is not easy.
But I can't handle the ones I NEED to do to save my life. And I will lie and cheat to avoid coming clean. I seem to want to pick and choose.
Finances, taxes, anything to do with what is just plain hard to do. And anything to do with planning.
Procrastination and avoidance are ruining my life. My wife will leave me, my kids will leave me, I will be bankrupt (not a good thing for a banker) just because I avoid it all. I've come so close to the brink and it's just plain easy to go over.
So I am praying this site will help. Microbursts. 12 steps. I want to start now.
I am a professional procrastinator and I am a major messup. I can have it all but I will lose it all. What a messup.
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I can fully relate to your situation, being a very intelligent, educated person with good resume experience who now has about $20 to her name thanks to a total and complete avoidance of applying for jobs or doing the freelance work right in front of me. This is definitely a compulsion/addiction, far more serious than the average occasional "procrastinator" ...
I attend Underearners Anon. phone meetings but have slacked going to my Coda meetings lately. I find the PA chatbox and daily check-in threads helpful to do my tasks and not feel alone. I'm still struggling badly but that's because I still need to fully surrender to my Higher Power. I'm at the point of being willing to pray every 5 minutes if that's what it takes.
Anyway, glad to see you here! :)
You've definitley come to the right place. As you read stuff on this site, you'll find so many people here who have the same sort of problems. The first important thing is you've at least decided to make a start.
Do come and use the daily check-in. I've found it surprisingly helpful to write down in public what I'm going to do for the day, even if I don't achieve all of it. It feels very different to writing down just for myself, in which case I usually ignore it! You will also get real-time moral/practical support in the chat-room.
Thanks much Hypatia.
I will come back now. Little by little. It's hard to imagine sharing any strengths and successes--too far ahead. Right now just spurts of energy with prayer to guide (I can't plan my way out of anything). It's inspiring to see others tackling this altogether serious issue.
(which, btw, so many take lightly--"oh, don't we all procrastinate", etc. I don't think everyone has the same sickness I do).
I look forward to interacting so much more.
hope you get the support and insight and self-acceptance you need, you will if you 'keep coming back' :)
It's an inside job...
I'll be back! (as Arnie says)