Thursday March 29, 2012

Journey i really like this:

"bookending this task. check back in an hour with progress or lack of same."

i think it will really help me with the guilt and acceptance of who i am if i admit right up front that failure is a possibility, and that i'll check in either way. I think it will lessen the sting if i do fail. it's more realistic for me.

Hi and good wishes to all for satisfying accomplishment!

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Today, until after the evening gathering, I choose to try something from SuperBetter &/or Havi Brooks before (and preferably rather than) seeking any fictional or gaming distraction online. I'd like to proudly deal with the real world with interest and curiousity, today.
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***key:***
= done or done enough
:-) = made or making progress

***absolutely this morning!:***
prioritize
get something to eat, pills, etc.
:-) check job email!
deal with anything urgent from job email (nothing urgent found)
use ear Rx 1st time
do at least 1 hour job work from intended list

***this morning preferable:***
decide what I want to wear, this afternoon/tonight
do laundry as needed for those clothes (laundry can wait a day)
load & run dishwasher
submit timecard (note 1 vac. day!)
do another hour of job work from intended list (or new/urgent)

***early afternoon planned:***
:-) shower, etc, including think re (and maybe make some notes) re some possible treats (shower done, but forgot to think about treats)
:-) check personal email
do an hour of job work from intended list (or new/urgent)
play superbetter for 10 minutes or so
use balancer! (did in late evening)
get something more to eat

***mid-afternoon planned:***
take vitamin pills, astragalus, etc.
:-) do another hour of job work from intended list (or new/urgent)
prepare and send weekly status report
make any requested wiki updates (none applicable)
use ear Rx 2nd time just before starting cooking

***late afternoon/evening planned:***
cook for potluck (start by 16:30)
do 10 minutes work on TAX data entry!
leave 18:30ish for potluck, take food, pills, earplugs
check for J email re grp share, reply (still nothing received from J re this)
do at LEAST 15min Qi Gong
bedtime Rx including use ear Rx 3rd time

***some additional options for feeling proud, accomplished, and hopeful***
delete some computer files?
make some notes about needed c-t actions
pay & mail yard work bill?
put away w. ld laundry?
journal re emailing P, do?
think re when glasses pick-up vs. car?
call to schedule car maint.?
20min. Habitat Unf*cking?

Good morning - back in the office today and feeling very tired and sleepy, probably due to post-vacation blues as well as workload stress.    I have been to the gym, and I have my todo  list.   I have 6 MITs as well as a few lower priority items.   Fortunately I only had one meeting today, yesterday was just full of stressful meetings.   The meeting is done, and here I go to start checking off items, and I'll check back if I get stuck.

Update 12:30 2 of 6 MITs completed.   Now is time to work on the horrible spreadsheet and I don't want to do it so I am bookending this task.   check back in an hour with progress or lack of same. 

Update 1 pm My monkey mind decided I needed to email somebody about the next MIT instead of working on the spreadsheet.   Back to spreadsheet.  Did I mention this is scary and complicated and I don't wanna do it?   If I can focus on it for an hour or so it will be done and I can ask the BIC to review it.  If something is out of whack, she will know.   Of course I prefer to be perfect and not need any help.   But what is important is getting it DONE, not pretending to be perfect.   Back to it.

Update 2pm The research is done and I sent rough figures to the BIC for a sanity check.  Now I just need to type it up. 

Update 2:45 DONE!   And I already started on the next MIT because I was using it as a procrastination tool for the horrid spreadsheet. 

Updated 4:45 5 of 6 MITs completed, as well as making a few tweaks to the spreadsheet as requested by the BIC - and she said I did a good job!  I will work on MIT #6 until 5:15 or so then I am going home, I'm tired but happy. 

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter.  Try again.  Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett

Thanks for starting the thread lennon.

Done:
Up prayer and reflection
Checked emails and posts
Tidied up some of my mess which still looks as messy as it did before
Looked for old psychology notes which I think are on a memory stick which is in a very safe place - so safe I can't find it

Todo:
x Deal with post when/if it comes
x Study French - in honesty not very much as found it hard to concentrate
x Out the afternoon to see film - part of the CBT as I am nervous about going out to some things - no problems but in confused state afterwards
x Write journal
Write notes for psychologist - last week I wrote them up the day before my appointment and found it hard to do - remembering what happened when
Wash up
Another brief list I am running out of food and stuff

Regards Rexroth

A very quick check-in.

Absolutely under time pressure now as I have to be in Uni at 9am, it's 7am as I write this and in the meantime I've got to write enough of a report to satisfy the tutor so's I can hand it in, walk the dogs, get dressed (got that in the wrong order!) have some proper breakfast, have a look at the scene we're going to improvise from, find some props to use.

Once I hit 1pm the pressure will be off. There's still plenty to do but that particular uncomfortable pressure will be gone, and the holidays will have started and I can have lie-ins and not worry about Uni too much. Though it might be helpful to catch up on some reading and organise my appalling notes!

MORNING

• 30 leglifts
• Shower
• Flax
• Mouthwash/brush  
• Shave

ONGOING  

1. Clean computer
2. Job search (10+ minutes)
3. Volunteer search (10+ minutes)
4. Review resumes
5. Check phone plans
6. Practise chanter 10+ minutes
7. Coding study (10+ minutes)
8. Research business cards
9. Pet care: Afternoon/evening
10. Put out bins
11. Lock up house 
12. Mouthwash/brush
13. Bed before 0030 

- "A procrastinator's work is never done."

9.45 am Thursday

Did not post yesterday as I worked out of my client's office; I seem to be back into the pattern of doing that on Wednesdays.

A meeting regarding among other things my future work with the client went better than expected. Still coming to terms with this; in many ways I am geared towards things going badly rather than success (certainly not useful to be this way). Even this limited success is scary! More will be expected of me, can I deliver? But I am also relieved that I will have more ongoing work with them as it had been uncertain.

So today I have slept in and am resisting having a shower, even though there is LOTS to be done today across several projects, both work and personal.

Time to move on!