Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Another new member

As seems to be the case for pretty much everyone who posts here, I found a profound sense of relief when I found this website, at seeing my experience described so neatly.  I am most definitely a demand-resistant procrastinator.

I had previously looked up descriptions of obsessive-compulsive behaviour, looking for something that would neatly describe what I was experiencing, but nothing did.  While I have at times played computer games, MMORPGs, or used the internet as tools of my avoidance, I wasn't quite an addict of any one of those things - and then there were all my other passing fixations: garden design; housing design; sudoku. I had a sense that my brain craved a particular type of stimulation, but what would provide that stimulation was a moveable feast.

I have visited a psychiatrist, in the hope he would decide my problem was ADD and prescribe me something that would fix it - it was the fixing it I was interested in, and if that took medication, so be it.  He declined, and said it was psychological, not neurological, and recommended counselling.  I was furious, and sat in the car afterwards and cried and raged.  I'd had counselling before, and was quite sure that sitting round talking about being molested, or my mother, or whatever, yet again, was not going to solve the problem.

Eventually though, I did start visiting a psychologist, at considerable expense, with no noticeable outcome.  He was certainly interested in my problem, but he just didn't get it. 

 Then I tried a hypnotherapist.  He was a quirky sort of chap.  He said he didn't think it mattered why people did things, only what would help them stop.  I liked the sound of that very much.   We tried one approach, I forget what now, and it helped a little, but wasn't quite it.  Then we tried "choice", as in "I choose what I do; it is my choice".  That worked very well - I felt almost giddy with it. 

His method of hypnotherapy was to teach self-hypnosis, to allow his patients to become independent of him.  Unfortunately, I never got into the habit of doing the self-hypnosis.  In retrospect, of course, sitting down and doing a session of self-hypnosis was just another something I ought to do rather than wanted to do, so I didn't do it.  However, I would suggest it as something that may provide some relief to others.

Reading the pages on here, I have come to realise that I need to accept that this is not something that I am ever going to cure, in the same way that alcoholics are never cured, they're either in perpetual recovery, or relapsing.  But I am aiming to be in recovery.

Anyway, I could go on, but really this post is meant to be just saying hi, pleased to meet you, and thank you so much for this site.  I will aim for my first book-ending tomorrow, or maybe even this evening!


Hi Lute

Hi Lute,

Welcome to the group. I was just thinking on the way home today something similar to what you said about not completely being cured of this wicked procrasination. It can be like ebbing and flowing- some days you do well and some days are just awful. I guess the trick is to flow more than ebb. Of course, the goal is the flow most of the time, but it is a stepping stone is to flow with the important stuff first, then with the less important tasks. So we will always have to balance it and every day will be different, but as long as we keep fighting back, it is worth it.

So welcome and good luck!

nice to meet you Lute

I agree with Vaskaat. I get that same feeling. It is sad to see more people sufferring, but hopeful that maybe here they can work on recovery.

I must say i am impressed at the many various things you've tried, Lute. Way to go! Such persistence.

I have been at this site for 4 years and i have to say your statement took me aback:

"I have come to realise that I need to accept that this is not something that I am ever going to cure, in the same way that alcoholics are never cured, they're either in perpetual recovery, or relapsing."

That is in fact what i believe about myself. But it struck me anew today very strongly. Two ways:

One the naked admission that "i am never going to be cured". Wow. With no qualifiers. That scared me a little, actually. Again, i believe this, i have already accepted this in the past, but it really hit me, seeing it there.

But, then "they're either in perpetual recovery, or relapsing." That actually gave me hope. Perpetual recovery. That is not so bad, given the alternative is un-cured and still sufferring.

Plus (i guess a 3rd way) : "or relapsing." That part is a little new to me. Makes perfect sense, of course, but i never quite limited my options to those two alone. But it appears that is the reality for me. I am always either doing one or the other. Reminds me of some of the AA stuff that goes something like "all it takes to achieve your dreams is to resist that first drink." It is good for me to remember--if i neglect my tools and my work on my recovery, i will be relapsing.

Also what Vaskaat said "One can accept something intellectually but not believe it." I have been thinking about that very thing today!

So welcome!

the touch of the master's hand:

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb


Welcome Lute

It's always good to see someone joining these boards. Some might think it's a negative trend to see more procrastinators, but the only difference is that people who have been suffering for a long time have admitted it to others and are trying to get help.

It's a pity your demand-resistance kicked in with the hypnotherapy; yet another recommendation or possibility that is converted into an "ought," or however the equation goes. But you've accepted the practical truth of the matter - that you don't know the cause but can deal with the effects. And even if you discovered the ultimate source of procrastination it doesn't mean it will be stamped out. One can accept something intellectually but not believe it. Since you understand the foundational issues and mechanisms I predict you'll do well here and hopefully gain some normalcy. 

- "A procrastinator's work is never done."