Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
your mind tricks you
This is a continuation of an earlier post, this post is very aggressive ha I just feel like going on my soap box today muahauahuaha, but I hope it hits home with some people.
Just start taking bites out of it everyday. Stop being afraid, don't be afraid, forget being afraid. If your mind wants to be afraid and starts panicking because of all the hard work you gotta do, you tell it to shut up, you tell it "I'm in charge here I call the shots." The whole point is you gotta get in there and start doing the work early and proving to yourself it isn't as bad as your brain sets it out to be. You see our minds have this wonderful way of blowing things out of proportion, and making things seem so scary and anxiety provoking. It will fool you and make you believe that writing a report is as stressful as running from a lion. I swear the same autonomic response, why well because we didn't evolve to write papers, we evolved to eat, sleep and reproduce: there is no paper in that clause. In fact we stopped evolving a long time ago ever since we climbed to the top of the food chain there are no more selective pressures, we don't need to evolve we are evolutionarily priveleged thanks to mainly our strong grip and mastery of agriculture. You see to me it's all about just going if you give your mind the chance and sit there and wait on things and think about them too much often your mind (the lazy part of it atleast) will find 1000 excuses of why you shouldn't do it. In fact I first experienced this in my undergraduate experience when I was experimenting with talking to girls. At first when I would try to talk to a girl before I could even go forward I'd start to think of the experience. (this has so much to do with procrastination btw). I'd think well "what should I say, Hi, hello, should I say something weird, should I compliment, what if I sound stupid what if others listen what if it's displeasurable what if I get rejected, what if it hurts, omg I'm scared, I'm gonna give up." By the time I got through all the incessant chatter well usualyl I had already rejected myself by default and given up I didn't even give th girls a chance to see if they liked me. Ha, now what is procrastinatoin often like, you have some work in fron of you then you say oh man let's get started uh oh but then the rest kicks in "what should I do first, will I be able to finish everything, what will happen if I don't finish, I'm tired, oh jeez that project looks hard, oh will I have to miss lost tonight, oh boy what is up with that pile why is it soo muccchhh!!!!!"" ANd then you get stressed and resort to doing something else like surfing the net or having some crackers (I can really go for some crackers right now lol).
but then I started short circuiting my brain and just physically pushed myself to talk to girls without thinking and then I actually dated some ha. You see same thing with work don't give your brain the chance to start just get to work. Well I feel better now and I need to stop procrastinating cleaning my room.
muahahahahahahmauhauhauahuahuahuiahuahuahmauhauhauahauhau
why the persistant villanous laugther cause it's fun
mauhauhahauhajuhauhuaauhauhau
no but seriously though guys good luck it takes time to master your mind I'm still struggling with it but making progress
over and out
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icemountainguy37 response
We have a few things in common, including the crackers. To this day whenever I consider approaching a girl I obsess over all the reasons it won't work and how starting this new "project" of dating is going to end poorly. It revolves aroung the expectation of commitment. Then there's the general fear of rejection; but in this context it fits very neatly into the neuroses of procrastination. There're always these nagging questions: "Why start something when you're going to have to dedicate so much time to it?" "Will you be able to handle the responsibility?" "Will this open the door to a flood of tasks that no one could ever accomplish in a lifetime?" "Will you fail miserably?" "Do you want to sabotage someone else's project with your own incompetence?" Even worse, you might think it's going nowhere and leads to nothing. Why even bother when it's going to end anyway... It kills all incentive to pursue anything; the result is already laid out in your mind.
- "A procrastinator's work is never done."
I wish you the best Vaskaat
I wish you the best Vaskaat perhaps you can come to terms with this issue I'm telling you loving someone is beautiful and it is availible to all if you simply let it in to your life. Forget the questions my friend
life is simply too short not to be silly.
Thanks Ice
I wouldn't know; it's never gotten to that point. Dating is as underwhelming to me as everything else. Still, it's generally better than the alternative. Besides, there's some fun in analysing something to death (like talking to strangers).
- "A procrastinator's work is never done."
ha I know how you feel I use
ha I know how you feel I use to be the same way when I was first beggining to date women and in my first serious relationship. I quickly realized though that it was more harm then good. It really makes you invest time into nothing funny huh. What I mean to say is often times you're analyzing hunches and theories which don't exist in reality and only as a projection of your own past experiences and mind. Thus, its like you're creating a story yourself which becomes hard in dating because then you are blocking yourself from seeing that person for who they really are and this blocks an ability for serious bonding to occur. I wish you the best sir, I say go out and date more women and lighten up in the situation why not man life's just too short to let our fears keep us back.
Don't forget, girls (well
Don't forget, girls (well okay, some girls... well okay, like me...) are scared too. Let me offer a girl's point of view: being approached can be quite frightening. You have all these thoughts passing through your mind like " I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings, Do I really know this guy? Do I really think we have anything in common? ....Do I really like him?" And girls may have multiple people pursuing them at a time. And you feed off of eachother's energy. If you have good energy, confident energy, she'll be feeding off of that somehow. People like to be around people who make them feel good about themselves. Stop worrying about your worries and instead concentrate on how you can make her feel at ease, feed off of each othere's positive energies. Remember that everyone has some inherent good things. You have good qualities, I dont know you but I know you have good qualities! If you recognize those yourself and know what your strengths are and why you like yourself, girls will be more likely to see that too :)
you know I find this as a
you know I find this as a beautiful reply I think in relationships in genral it's important to not let your worries and fears but instead focus on enjoying eachother's compnay and loving eachother and pulling eachother up (focusng on your strengths is good), Because at the end of the day the other person can not solve your worries and fears no one can but yourself. I feel it's ok to discuss them though and have your partners support but the relationship shouldn't become therapy.
Let's be realistic
Alimony, pre-nups, cheating, and general gossip about your "significant other" are testament to the fact that people are not to be trusted. There are so many variables in every aspect of life that have to be thoroughly analysed before proceeding.
Rejection is not an issue; perfectionism is. It's a personal failure not to be convincing enough in demeanour and quality that someone will commit to a long-term relationship. And Ice, while it may be true that the paranoia isn't founded on anything in reality there are practical concerns that have to be examined each time, for each decision in life. Otherwise, the possibility of dealing with further consequences increases. And Ransana, hurting a guy's feelings should be the least of your concerns. It's not an issue.
- "A procrastinator's work is never done."
yes this is true vaskaat but
yes this is true vaskaat but the overarching theme is where do you draw the line between concern and being prepared from being overprepared and a worried and anxious person? I posit this question
Ice
The line would be whether it causes chronic inaction, even if that inaction is only the result of procrastinating tendencies (because we shouldn't rule out the possibility that the paranoia is a defense mechanism against having to do work and not anxiety about being lied to, assaulted, cheated, etc). It can be a convoluted excuse for not doing work that's masquerading as a legitimate fear.
- "A procrastinator's work is never done."
good point I agree that
good point I agree that something is problem when it begins to interefere with your everyday living. But, I'd like to take something and add,although we are lead to believe that in analysis emotions tend to convolute things. I've come to learn in one of my brain and behavior courses that patients who had lesions to areas which integrated emotions with higher level functioning (called somatic markers) found it very difficult to make good decisions. Thus, the way you feel about something your gut instinct can help you make decisions all the time without you having to analyze things to the fullest call it a hunch. But, I've realized that when it comes to matters of relationships and often times with other topics in life (school, friendships, family, problems, day to day tasks) it's better and much more peaceful to trust your instincts then to read too far into things. Now offcourse there is the caveat that big decisions in your life should be examined, and reason and logic applied believe me I've spent my whole life doing science I know the value of realistic thinking and testing questioning etc. But, I believe the most peaceful people are those people who know when and when not to analyze. And for the most part I feel like the majority of the things in life that we come across aren't as complicated as they seem. So offcourse like anything else I see the balance.
what I mean to say Vaskaat is I think we both have good points and the answer lies in balancing the two.
You're right, thanks for the
You're right, thanks for the reminder Vasskaat, that shouldn't be a concern...my thinking process needs some work as well.
Talking to the chatter in your mind
Hi I agree your mind can seem like a real villan trying to hurt you and stop you. I think it's great you can wittness the chatter. I am very shy because of the chatter in my mind that says people wont like you because......your will make a fool of your self if you....... So I have my own villianous chatter too. I think we all do.
I like to try to think of it as a crazy old aunt or uncle thats locked in the attick and sits there saying crazy thing no one pays attention to.
Another trick Is just answer it with. Thanks for sharing . Or/and I'll get back to you on that, but I am too busy right now.
I agree your mind tricks you and you can visualize it as any thing you want, .... just don't pay attention to it. Chatter , chatter, chatter thats what minds do. It's good to be reminded of that. Have some fun with it, The mind is truly crazy a lot of times. Yes it may even seem evil .
What ever works for you to acknowlege it then ignor it or maybe just ignor it. Have fun with it. we all struggle with it and some days are better than others. I need to walk my Dog now. Good luck
that's awesome rich, you
that's awesome rich, you tell your mind "thanks for sharing" ha good advice.
icemountainguy37, thanks
icemountainguy37, thanks for sharing! No objections to villainous laughter :D :D
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my apoligies for the
my apoligies for the grammatical errors