So this is it ?
I am a 44 years old guy from Germany, so I am not a native English speaker.
Three years ago, I lost my job as a web developer, which I was able to hold for nearly eight years, constantly battling procrastination. Finally procrastination won. I was not able to start new projects any more. This state persisted, so my boss had no other choice than to fire me. I have been unemployed since then, partly because I procrastinated on job search, partly because it is nearly impossible here in Germany to get another job if your resume shows that you failed in one.
I am living on my saved money, which was meant to be my old age provisions. Of course I could apply for social welfare. In Germany, you are allowed to keep a certain amount of your savings when you live on welfare, you don't have to spend all of it. But living on welfare means poverty, and poverty means discomfort, and I fear nothing more than discomfort. So I procrastinate on applying for welfare. I am afraid I will not apply for welfare until all of my money has been spent.
I never had a relationship with a woman, because of course I procrastinated on dating. I have some physical health problems which get worse every year. It seems as if I would have to live the rest of my life in poverty, loneliness and physical pain. In one old forum entry, I read that if you evade discomfort, discomfort will finally overwhelm you. I think now is the time I have to experience this on my own.
When I think about my future, I feel sheer terror and hopelessness.