Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Ranting thread

14 November, 2011 - 10:31am - Steppin

 

This is the thread for when you're down and just want to let it all out. Sometimes it's nice to just write out your dissapointment with yourself, so you can put it behind you and get back up on the horse!

It's not easy changing a habit that has been with us for many years, so of course there will be bumps on the road. But even though we know that, it's easy to get back into the bad circle of procrastination->self loathing -> even more procrastination and so on.

So go on, get that bad experience/failed day/dissapointment out of your system and get back in the game!

‹ The experiment of having nothing to do. Specific ways to combat procrastination habits ›

falling apart

carolinemw - 20 Dec 2011 - 5:07pm

I am so angry and frustrated with myself today. I don't have anyone to talk to about it at the moment so I guess I'll get it off my chest here.

I have just emailed my Uni tutor to say that my latest assignment is going to be late (again). This means I'll get a penalty but I guess its better than handing in a crappy piece of work. I'm also seriously messing up at work to the extent that my job might be at risk. All because of procrastination.

I really feel like everything's falling apart just now. If I can't cope with life by now (I'm 30) then when will I ever be able to?

 

i'm there too

overdue - 20 Dec 2011 - 11:27pm

i totally could have written your exact post. i'm going to try getting a coach in january to see if that helps me. i am so frustrated. i need to find a new solution. hope you are doing okay and being nice to yourself. beating myself up tends to make me worse off on the end, as hard as it is for me to be nice to myself when i hate my behaviour.

To Overdue

carolinemw - 21 Dec 2011 - 2:27pm

Thanks Overdue. It's always good to know that there are other people dealing with the same problem.

I'm trying very hard not to get too down on myself but it's difficult. I am trying hypnotherapy at the moment to see if I can change my negative thinking patterns.

Good luck with the coaching. Hopefully 2012 will be a better year for both of us.

Caroline

Sucky day

Steppin - 2 Dec 2011 - 5:33pm

Got nothing done. Feeling pretty lonely. It's like I never have time to be social anymore, and when I do have some time off, my friends don't have the time. I really need to start making appointments ahead of time. But I'm such a wuss when it comes to taking initiative. I hate being the one to ask he people are up to something. I'm so sacred of rejection, even when it's friends I've known for a long time.
And everything I find scary or uncomfortable, I procrastinate on.
Yet when I think about it, rejection can never be as bad as loneliness, cause even if you're rejected, at least you tried.

I can relate to that. With

studentessa - 3 Dec 2011 - 10:29am
I can relate to that. With me its not that I am scared of rejection, because I usually get frustrated with my friends if they "do not have time at all" with no particular reason, because if they were friends they would make time or at least have a plausible reason (exams, busy time at work etc.). So they are not real friends, and I won't call again. Let them call me, if its at all important to them.
 
My problem with friends is usually different. That I am too busy with something, like exams or studying, so I tell them that and put them off to sometime after the exam. And then, instead of studying, I spend my time playing tetris, even though I know that meeting my friends would also have been procrastination, at least I would really have enjoyed that and maybe given me a break from my self-destroying-habits.
 
 
You cannot run away from a weakness; you must sometimes fight it out or
perish. And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 - 1894)

I get what you're saying

Steppin - 4 Dec 2011 - 8:21am

I think you're right, it's a problem for me too, that I can't make appointments because I have to get certain things done, then I procrastinate and have to make up for that. Then I have even less time to spend with my friends, and when that continues for a while, I start feeling a bit "disconnected" from them. Like I don't know what they have been up to lately, and what's going on in their life and so on. Then it's even harder to make appointments, cause the changes that my rare free spots of time fit perfectly with their schedule, are slim and I kinda feel like I have been neglecting them. So my bad consience also keeps me from making appointments, Then I don't hang out with anyone in a while, and start feeling even more "off" with people, and loose my will to take initiative. Then comes the loneliness. It's really a bad spiral.

My first ever rant/post

razz - 29 Nov 2011 - 11:26am

Cute huh ? even more cute , I've managed to procrastinate posting here for weeks ...

I've been laid off for 4 months now from a job I thoroughly hated for the past 6 yrs (colleagues made it somewhat bearable) so I'm glad, but in order to pay my mortgage I have to apply for the same kind of job I hate without showing it, so I'm sad. Getting the job isn't even the problem, I'm very good at selling myself (as in faking boundless ambition and sounding sincere at the same time), but now I'm at a crossroads in my life that I don't want to SELL myself , I want to BE myself ... I've tried the latter and it doesn't work at getting the job I hate , strange how that works. My academic career has been stagnant for more then a decade because I hate studying for a job I hate, as a result I haven't got any recent certification which now backfires when applying for a job, which again is reflected on my mood, selfesteem and lovelife. What I really want to be has been clear for a long time , a physicist...right now i'm just a system engineer with a lot of books on physics and math. What's holding me back ? Well going back to school again and giving up a large home and car and prospects on having a family isn't even the worst part, because in order to apply I have to do a few exams ...which has become a mental barrier, this is where the procrastination devil appears and constantly nags 'you cant do this it will be too difficult'  -)  

 

Steppin

Steppin - 26 Nov 2011 - 3:03pm

Studentessa, I feel your pain. I just wasted 3,5 hours on the internet. Go me!

Sometimes it's as if there's a part of me that always convinces me to turn on the computer cause "this time it's different, this time you can control it." Pffh, as if.

Why do I fool myself like that? Because I want to be fooled. I want the sweet relief of procrastintion, instead of the hard work of reality.  But I will nip this in the bud this time, and instead of giving up completely and waste the rest of this day and week, I will now turn my computer off, head out and at least get started on what I was supposed to be doing!

 

Just a month ago...

studentessa - 26 Nov 2011 - 5:46am
Just a month ago, I swore that I will never procrastinate again, because I had palpitations, breakdowns and generally a lot of stress, that actually gave me wrinkles.
And that was the end of my procrastination... NO IT WAS NOT. I wasted nearly a month with 'organizing' stuff, as if that took more than one hour a day. But I surfed the internet like a pro. 
And now I am nervous and feel like there is no way that I can pass that exam on monday, because I am not halfway through studying. And once I again I think "I need just one more week." But thats not a possibility.  Why, why, why. I remember on monday I thought "Ah, seven days, that should be enough." But I started on Wednesday and it took so much longer than I thought. Why why why.
 
 
You cannot run away from a weakness; you must sometimes fight it out or
perish. And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 - 1894)

Journey's whining rant.

journey - 15 Nov 2011 - 10:39am

OK since you gave me a place to vent .. .

I really hate the fall.   I have allergies in the fall, my nose is always stuffy and I always have a headache.   And then there are all the parties and celebrations.   It begins with my son's bday on Oct. 25, then Halloween, then Thanksgiving and then Christmas.   I don't like parties and social stuff, but as the Mom I'm officially responsible for all the party planning, shopping, organizing.   I hate party planning.   I'm not good at it.   But I'm stuck with it, and now that MY mom is getting older, I'm responsible for the entire extended family.   It's my job to see that everyone else has a nice holiday season, while I just endure it.   

I'm planning Thanksgiving now - by default the celebration has to be at my house, but I'm working the weekend before and only have the one day off.   I'm not cooking, thank God, but I'm hosting, so I'll be busting my butt to get the house ready for company while finishing up this major project at work.   (my husband helps a lot with the cleaning, I gotta say - he always does the floors, both carpet and hardwood, before company)

And don't even get me started on Christmas.   Did  I mention I hate the fall?  So thanks for the place to vent - I'll do it here and keep the game face on for the fam eh?  I do love my family and want to have a nice holiday season, but I liked it a lot better when all I had to do was show up with a pie or something and put a smile on my face :-P

*whew* I feel better already lol

I value my time and use it wisely - Journey

Precalculus Setback

wingartist39 - 14 Nov 2011 - 7:33pm

Hey!

My grade for Precalculus went downward from a B to a D+ because I failed on my mid-term exam. Anyway, I knew that the reason is obviously my messed up mindset. I thought I did well in Math. Though I got side-tracked from not being in Math last year in favor of Filming Class. Plus, I may have trouble with the equations for what I am supposed to use to get the correct answer. I don't know. My choices still need working, even when I just joined PA. I wanted to bing up my concern for one bit. Like I still have until January to bring it up to a B+ if possible.

So I am going into Math Lab for some tutoring on the problems I am doing currently as we moved on from the first 6 chapters. I thought of going there for Mondays and Thursdays. I needed to bring my grade up before it's too late.

I really need to get more momentum on the books I have, and do some productivity at some point that satisfy me, while enjoying healthy acts of redefining my skills in art. If I want to do well in the computer field in college, I need my grade to go up to a B or B+. Now then, wish me Luck!:)

Steppin Whining

Steppin - 14 Nov 2011 - 10:37am

I will gladly open the ball by telling that I failed to do ANYTHING today.

Got up, cooked breakfast and then...nothing. I didn't get anything done. Last piano lesson was a disaster and I promised myself that I wouldn't let it happen again and that I would practice a lot, so I don't understand how I could let myself down so much.

Damage control: Practice a little organ before work and maybe a little piano when I get back home. And the next tó days will be a practice frenzy. I have somewhat gotten my basic fascination of the piano back, and that has helped me in the past days.

Okay, I will gladly pick up

studentessa - 14 Nov 2011 - 1:15pm
Okay, I will gladly pick up the thread and rant a bit myself.
I also failed to do most of the things I planned, except give lessons. Because of course, its not that I am lazy or lack discipline, its just that apparently I only have these two when working with or for other people. Then apparently I am even able to motivate them to work more themselves. But with myself, not so much. You would think, "great, just work with people all the time." But my lifes goals need me to be in University and study, and somehow thats not something you can do with other people most of the time. Besides, I have created a sort of study group more than once, but these people are procrastinators too or just not committed, and if they slack, I slack. 
And its crazy how much luck I have had getting here... I mean, I learned to work under so much pressure, but then I always feel sick with stress. And I don't want that anymore.
But what am I doing? I am beyond the point of productively procrastinating (cleaning instead of studying), no I even procrastinate housework till one hour before bed, most likely because I have put it on my to-do list. I am sick and tired of myself, I tell you. 
 
You cannot run away from a weakness; you must sometimes fight it out or
perish. And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 - 1894)

Ranting reply

Steppin - 14 Nov 2011 - 7:26pm

I know what you mean. When I'm at my part time work, I always get everything done, cause I know people are counting on me, but as soon as it's something about myself, I procrastinate.

I think it has something to do with the principles of pain and avoidance. When we know that other people are going to see our work, we can't ignore the pain of procrastination and we get stuff done. But when no one are holding us accountable (before it's too late at least), it easier to ignore that bugging sense in the back of the head and just keep on procrastinating.

Anyway, I think it's a a habit and I think it is possible to change it:) I hope you get back up!