Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Sunday 20 February 2011
At each moment, I can forgive myself and make a new start.
'We'll thrive if we are given the freedom and encouragement to try again'
courage wisdom serenity gratitude
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fudoshin: checkin : 9:19pm
Please do not leave advice. Thank you. Prayers welcome.
I was reading the characteristics and patterns from my other 12 step program and I want to write the ones that apply to me, b/c I want to identify these traits of co, rather than by taking them on anonymously. I find that by naming things I gain power over them enough to say that's that and I'm not it. Things I have in blue, I have considerable progress on. I've deleted things that I don't think are true of me, or things I'm not working on for now. In strike, are things that are very untrue.
I have difficulty identifying how I am feeling.
I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
I label others with my negative traits.
I can take care of myself without any help from others.I mask my pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation. (Mostly by procrastination)
I express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways. (Mostly by procrastination).
I do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom I am
attracted. I recognize it, but I still get involved with them.
I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge what I think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough.
I am embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts.I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings, and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
I constantly seek recognition that I think I deserve.
I have difficulty admitting that I made a mistake.I need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and will even lie to look
good. True sadly, but only b/c of my procrastination addiction.
I am unable to ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I perceive myself as superior to others.I look to others to provide my sense of safety.I have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing
projects.
I have trouble setting healthy priorities.I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.
I put aside my own interests in order to do what others want.
I am hypervigilant regarding the feelings of others and take on those
feelings.
I am afraid to express my beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ
from those of others.
I accept sexual attention when I want love. (I need to work on not accepting sex, when I want love.)
I make decisions without regard to the consequences.
I give up my truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change.(I need to retain my truth more.)
I believe most people are incapable of taking care of themselves.I attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel.I freely offer advice and direction to others without being asked.
I become resentful when others decline my help or reject my advice.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I want to influence.
I use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance. ( need to refrain from using s.a. to gain approval in my private relationships.)
I have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others.
I demand that my needs be met by others.
I use charm and charisma to convince others of my capacity to be caring and
compassionate.
I use blame and shame to emotionally exploit others. (By procrastinating and making them my excuse to do so.)
I refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate.
I adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage tomanipulate outcomes.
I use terms of recovery in an attempt to control the behavior of others.I pretend to agree with others to get what I want.
I act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward
me.
I judge harshly what others think, say, or do.I avoid emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy as a means of maintainingI only avoid emotional intimacy with friends to a certain extent...but usually pretty good about this.distance.
I allow my addictions to people, places, and things to distract me from
achieving intimacy in relationships.
I use indirect and evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation. (Occasionally, still do this.)
I diminish my capacity to have healthy relationships by declining to use all
the tools of recovery.
I suppress my feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable.I pull people toward me, but when they get close, I push them away.I refuse to give up my self-will to avoid surrendering to a power that is
greater than myself.
I believe displays of emotion are a sign of weakness.
I withhold expressions of appreciation. (I have come a long way in this regard. gratitude lists count.)
(not advice)
Hi fudo_shin, just wonder if you could tell me where to find that list you are using. Looks like something I would find useful.
Thanks.
fudoshin: Answer to findingaway : 1:02am
Here is the link: http://www.coda.org/tools4recovery/patterns-new.pdf
fudoshin: day 34: 7:09pm
Please do not leave advice. Thank you. Prayers welcome.
This is the 34th day that I have followed through with the following:
I'm making a pledge to quit using the dating site(s) and Facebook for
90 days. I had written this on my 43things account, but I wrote that I
wanted to avoid dating sites for a full six months, so I think 90 days
is reasonable for a dating site. I also have a penchant for looking at
and stalking certain people repeatedly on the dating website and online,
which has prevented me from sanity. Just all out stalking certain
people has been all out crazy; if I'm not stalking one person, it's
another person. During times I've tried to quit the dating site before, I
have visited people's dating profiles, even while not registered on the
dating site. So part of my whole thing with quitting dating sites is
also quitting stalking people's profiles that I've tried to date in the
past. If I accidentally load a dating site, b/c I accidentally clicked
on something obviously that doesn't count. You can hardly hang a cat on
the Internet without hitting a dating site ad. Intention is
everything.
In other words:
of this.) This includes not stalking people on AIM or other chat
networks, whom I've tried to date in the past. I thoroughly embarrassed
myself on IM before in ways I never would over the phone.
exercise for 30 minutes a day: walking, swimming, hiking, biking,
running, jogging, karate, yoga, a dance class. Anything of those for at
least 30 minutes. And nothing else. I can do the running plan, but I
assure myself that each day that I show up to run, I will be okay, if
all I do is ultimately choose to walk. Whatever I feel comfortable with
when I do. That way I don't intimidate myself.
Finding a way check in
12.50 pm Monday
Thanks Chickadee for the beautiful and inspiring thread. Some belated thanks to Clement, Journey and Hope4meandu @ http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/3370#comment-46043 (in case you didn't see the post).
Still finding things pretty rough. Have decided to make today a bit of a catch up and take care of myself day and not plan to do much paid work.
Have done some things. Still to do:
laundry x 2exerciseslunchdishesrestphone call to RGmail and POtimesheetF & V pickclean out carring Lmake one or two appointments1 hour on W report if timecook dinnertiptree CI
to be done:
1) get out of the house for a while
2) clean kitchen
3) fix customer bug
4) fix problem w/ home folders
5) clean office
6) laundry - diapers + another load
7) read 50 pp
8) practice guitar
9) floss
10) work on budget
11) watch movie
12) listen to a CD
kromer 2 CI
Took a long walk, went to church, had a healthy lunch, goofed of a bit, now I really need to work. For today, my 2 big tasks are:
*Email proposal!*Work on web-crawling project
2/20
Thanks for starting the thread chickadee!
Work 8AM-5PM:
-Figure out fix for low c (test low r, test high r, test add c)
-review pinouts
-choose 10 cn
-get h ordered
-get l ordered
-get f ordered
-review g with m
-review g with d
After Work 5PM-Sleep:
-Document stuff for insurance
-followup with mom about acctn
-find and print 6 personal tax documents
-prepare weedwacker for warranty
-check payout for b expenses
-get oil change
-remove disc items
-order postcard thank you cards
-check bills [DONE]
-Sort out issues with kaspersky lab key
-Unclog shower drain [DONE]
tracy-la sun 2-20 check in
Posted 3 readings for today since all of them hit home for me:
READING #1:
A Selfish Program
We call our program a selfish one. It is something, which we want more
than anything else, not only for productivity and achieving our personal goals but also for peace of mind.
We do not join PA to please anyone else; our primary purpose is to do
what is best for ourselves.
Starting the program where we are, we take the aspects of it which apply to each
current situation. We give to and share with our group, but we also
remember that the best thing we can do for any other compulsive
procrastinator is to practice our own abstinence.
We have found that putting ourselves down does no good, either to
ourselves or to anyone else. If for someone else we do something, which
we sincerely believe is wrong for us, then our resentment is bound to
come out sooner or later.
When we were procrastinating compulsively, we often tried to hold down our
fear and resentment or avoid our feelings with procrastination. Instead of honestly facing fear, anger and hostility, we
tried to make it go away by procrastinating.
The PA program gives us a better way to deal with negative emotions, and for selfish reasons we need this program!
May I not be afraid to recognize my needs.
ADAPTED From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations
READING #2
Say what you like: say I'm ill,
Say I broke my leg on the stairs,
Say we've had a fire\
—T. S. Eliot
Think of the trouble of excuses and lies. They force us to make ourselves
sick, live with a whole broken leg, start some sort of slow burn. When
we tell someone we're not at home, we have to hide in that place. When
we invent a long line of lies, we have to memorize each one. It's
easiest just to come clean, use plain and simple words, and speak true.
When accusers spear us with their stares, we can disarm them by looking
them right in the eye.
Not only do lies deceive others, they keep us hidden from ourselves, and make our
real reasons for the choices we've made seem unworthy, if we feel we
can't express them. Better that we be truthful, even if a little pain
results. Truth keeps communication lines open. Then, when someone really
wants to know what's on our minds, we can simply open our hearts.
Is anything too terrible to tell to a friend?
From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families
READING #3
You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
—Eleanor Roosevelt
How can we ever do that which seems impossible? Doing our taxes, writing a paper or thesis, getting to appointments on time on a regular basis, doing overdue homework, quitting a
job, leaving a destructive relationship behind, asking for help; none of
these can we do alone or with ease. All of these we can handle when we
rely on the help offered by the program, the help of one another, the
help promised by our higher power. Tackling with God's help that which
seems impossible, reduces it to manageable size. It also deflates the
power our fears have given it.
That which we fear grows in proportion to our obsession with it. The more we
fear a thing, the bigger it becomes, which in turn increases our fear.
How lucky we are that God awaits our call for the strength, the
companionship that is guaranteed us! We are in partnership, all the way,
every day, if we'd only recognize it. We can move toward and through
anything. And the added benefit is that we come to trust our
partnership. We soon know that all situations can be met. All
experiences can be survived. Avoidance is no longer our technique for
survival.
A deep breath invites the inner strength to move through me. I will feel the exhilaration of
God's power. And I will know the excitement of growth and peace.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations
BASICS:
MY BASICS:
checking in;support calls(1x);affirmation; gratitudes;reading;check calendar; plan to plan;email my 3 most important tasks;voicemail;billing from prior day/declutter prior day's email; exercise #1 (run);
manage; manage D; use timesheet and timer; if mood gets down do exercise #2A
Have a great selfish day everyone,
tracy-la
katia 2/20
Hi all! Hockey game today on a channel I get! Go Sabres :)
Things to do today
-Vitamins & #1 #2 #3 #4 #5-#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6#7-Continue reading Plato2/3 done! and read to Connor-Get math stuff out-Post to forum-More classes research
-Email Stuart G-Supposedly work on math hw
-List for target tomorrow
-Email re Bhope4meandu day 21
Hi All!!
Thanks chick for starting us!!! Welcome overdue!!!!, so glad you are here and sharing, please keep coming!!!!
Worked out Friday, thank HP and you all!!
Today:
-
hair-Yoffee bath
-laundry-
meditation workoutWishing you all blessings!!
♥"Careful the wish we make, wishes are children. Careful the path they take, wishes come true..." From "Children Will Listen," by Stephen Sondheim.♥
Journey 9 am
Had everyone over for dinner last night so yesterday was a flurry of housecleaning and cooking, but it was fun. Now I'm sitting here trying to make up my mind to head out to the gym and a haircut. And . . . I'm still sitting . . .ok, here I go. Gym, haircut, sinkful of dishes from last night, laundry and either bathe the dogs or change the sheets. And organize something.
jo
We won't be afraid of being sweet to ourselves. - Her Space Holiday
My Day Today
I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.
I want to thank chickadee for starting this trend.
Things I will do today
1. Go to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting2. Go to the 8 a.m. telephone DA Action Group3. Prayer and meditation morning and evening
4. Take shower5. Get dressed6. Get medicine ready for the next two weeks7. Send Al-Anon literature for today8. Post Al-Anon literature for tomorrow9. Go to my mother's apartment and cook fish and take out trash10. Go to the 2:30 p.m. online PA meeting11. Go to the 8 p.m. telephone CLA meeting12. Go to the 9 p.m. telephone EA meeting13. Eat brunch
14. Eat dinner15. Do hair
16. Make bed
17. Wash dishes
Thanks for letting me share
vic 2/20/11
Thank you chickadee for the starter, the "secret" in our 12 step rooms:
'We'll thrive if we are given the freedom and encouragement to try again'
my first checkin
finish rough draft of essay k2 (2 hours max)
1 hour of prep for project rg
2 hours of research for proj mc
get help on proj mc (write an email) 20 min
scrub bathroom tub 10 min
1 load of laundry 15 min
another load of laundry 15 min
mediabat 11:36 PM previous day
Item of procrastination: Go to Lewis' house to drop stuff off before 11 AM (5 points)
Deadline: 11 AM Sunday
Success rate: 70% -> 73%
Ave. procrastination time: 0
Total tasks: 63/86
chick CI
prject p
master list
monday things
household chores