Friday January 7, 2011

Yay for weekends. But nay for homework. Now is frustrating because I try to get things done and I'm not putting them off, I just don't know how to DO some of the problems. Might see about meeting my prof or a TA to go over things.

Things to do today
-Vitamins
-Bath for Connor
-#1 #2 #3 #4
-Set up meeting
-Work on as much math as I can
-Post on forum
-Try to work on hw
-Read some SophoclesFinished it! yay

Exhausted.

TO-DO LIST

FIRST THINGS FIRST - RECOVERY

• call 1 - sponsor
• morning prayer
• meditation
• journaling
• daily renewal
• readings
• call 2
• call 3
• exercise
• meeting

WORK

• client #1: weekly analytics report
• client #2: microcontent for topic pages
• client #2: call Texas person
• client #2: call Texas person
• client #1: daily site report

PERSONAL / ERRANDS

• groceries
• pick up kids

DAILY RENEWAL

• I'm powerless over fear of being judged incompetent, and over impulses to avoid handing in deliverables that I'm afraid someone might base such a judgment on.
• I can't manage my life. I quit. I'm out of management. I'm listening for guidance and information from Higher Power, I'm open to doing whatever it might suggest for me, and I'm willing to follow instructions.
• I want to be sober today. This is what sobriety looks like, as best as I can see it today:
  • Inner Circle behaviors (bottom lines, abstinence requirements) — just for this one day, I'll do whatever it takes to abstain from:
    • sleeping to avoid work/reality
    • using my sexuality to avoid work/reality
    • working without a clear plan -- a prioritized to-do list, a time-boxed calendar
    • working outside the PA Chatbox -- e.g., failing to bookend each task
    • staying in vague, unstructured time during business hours
    • impulsive decisions about what to do, or work on, during business hours
    • perfectionism: seeking immunity from disapproval/judgment via a strategy of producing nothing until I feel total mastery over the subject, and then chipping away at a deliverable until I'm certain it is unassailably perfect. I'm not sober if I'm exceeding my time estimates more than 3x-4x.
  • Middle Circle (gray area; potentially signs of decline in spiritual condition)
    • working without a timer and without recording hours
    • working without trying to estimate how much time a task will take
    • working without trying to define scope of a task/project
    • Isolating
    • dishonesty
    • not communicating with people when plans change, when conflict or potential conflict arises, when I've done something I feel shame/embarrassment about
  • Outer Circle / top lines:
    • 3 phone calls a day
    • daily prayer
    • daily meditation
    • 5 minutes stepwork each day
    • 3 Meetings / week
    • regular exercise
    • Doing whatever's necessary for me to experience my work process as one of choice and freedom.
• Only higher power can keep me sober, but I need others to connect to higher power — and other people can help me see things I won't otherwise see, and can help me be accountable.
• this is just for today. I can stay abstinent for the rest of today, and I can do my best on all the other stuff for the rest of today. Tomorrow's not my concern.
• I turn my will and my life over to walking whatever path the truth — the dharma — reveals to me.
• In the 24 hours ahead: I intend to write quick spot inventories if/when fear and anxiety arise, then turn them to another person and to HP.

OK, yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day...got essentially nothing done :(

And for some reason I was exhausted this morning, so I didn't get into work until 9:45, and I'm just now settling down to work.

And today I have scheduled stuff 1-3 and 4-9, so that doesn't leave that much time to work.

OK, well within though limits what can I get done?
I certainly need to check on experiments and do DNA extraction
And I need to drop off one set of samples and pick up another

Other than that, I'm looking at organizing/writing work. I'll do as many of the following as I can
Notes from mtg
R8 notes
Update lab nb (sb expt)
Update lab nb (other stuff)
RNA-seq in pres
western res in pres
Email about MH
R8 lit search
MK stuff in pres
Read a couple of papers

Clean bench

OK, going to start with some notes (on the "swallow that frog" philosophy)

 Show up (done) Snowing, but  it could be fun.

Thanks for being here.

Very disturbed night associated with first few days in new fellowship

Done:
Up eventually
Checked emails
Bath washed hair trimmed beard
Looked up and read info on new fellowship
Got rid of some high fat food which I don't need in view of my cholesterol levels

Todo:
Tidy up in kitchen
Check meeting tomorrow
Write journal and start on step one
Mail when/if it comes
Look up more info on web

Regards Rexroth

Today I woke up early, but apathy got the better of me and I wasted the morning...

 Anyway, that's no excuse to waste the rest of the day, so here's my to-do list:

1. 4 hours work on thesis

2. Grocery shopping

3. Meditation

4. Evening AA meeting..

I hope you're all having a productive time of it!

Best,

Lucca