I am new and thankful to be here (my story - thank you for listening)
I am so happy that I found this website. I read many stories and saw myself in many of them.Here is my story: I used to be a very hard-working person until about 3 years ago when I became unemployed and felt isolated and rejected. It took few months for me just to give up doing anything and let myself be taken care of. Now it's been few years in this situation and state of mind ('path of least resistance' or whatever they call it). Since then, many opportunities have opened but I keep on hiding and postponing to do my job search. The situation is getting progressively worse and I am scared. I fell into a mode of total avoidance and postponing - not scheduling appointments, coming with excuses to miss social events, not being able to get out of the bed in the morning because of the anxiety of what I need to do during the day (and I know I am not going to do it unless there is a deadline I cannot avoid). I am so confused! I used to work 2 jobs, go to school, and be independent. Now I have left myself in the total care of my significant other. I know deep in my heart that I am not lazy, but I keep on procrastinating, waiting for a better day that I know is not going to come.
I hope that by discovering that this might be a mental condition rather than plain laziness will help me get more motivated to do things. I just need some support, because every time I mention my feelings in front of a friend or significant other I get yelled at: 'wake up,get over your fears, you can do it, organize yourself, make a to do list (have hundreds of those)', etc.
Thank you all for listening!
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Welcome Laura. You are not alone anymore. I have never met others that truely understood except here. We have heard it all as well, (you have so much potential, I expected so much more from you, why, etc., etc.) and the worst yeller was me in my own head.
I have been "showing up" here for over a year- wow- and the showing up is symbolic of my "Not waiting for a better day that I know is not going to come." Some days are better than others but I have not "shut down" for that better day.I think I had to believe that lie before or there would be no point to anything. By the grace of god, people here, and the ease of connection and understanding, I did not fall into that black hole with no predictable exit time. I hope you keep coming back. and start by just showing up consistently.
A better day -- perhaps just a little eensy teensy ever so slightly better -- is INDEED here....it is today. You are here. A step is a step is a step. Smile. That summarizes my last yr to some degree as well. You ain't alone, gal!
You've come to the right
You've come to the right place! Everyone here knows what you're going through and most of us have been in that place. I've been there, except it was my parents supporting me, but it was the same thing, I was afraid to try and apply for anything, and as a result I felt shame and avoided people.
That feeling of being paralysed will go away with time. Use the chatbox or check in if you need to do anything. Even if it's just to get out of bed and get dressed. No one will mock or tell you to get over yourself here. We encourage each other for everything, even what may seem like the smallest of tasks.
I would encourage to read the article about Microbursts, it works for many of us.
Come here as often as you can, and you will get better in time.
Glad to have you join us. Come on in and pull up a chair at the recovery table. Can I offer you a cup of coffee?
I already feel better by seeing that all of you work hard towards recovery. I made my short version of a to-do list today and will expand it by taking one small step at a time to avoid avoidance and feeling buried in unfinished tasks.
Thank you all for support!