Friday, October 1, 2010

Happy Friday~

Interesting day and facing my discomfort this morning by getting some backlogged things done that were festering. They weren't work but personal & needed to get done and I got 5 of those done. I can still feel the discomfort they caused by just handling them and as the quote I posted the other day says "If you can't feel, you can't heal."

When I was avoiding these tasks the past months, I wasn't feeling anything about them. It was numb and I didn't even think about them. When I worked on them, pulled them out, the feelings came out (not terribly identifiable feelings mind you but uncomfortable ones that cause my heart to beat faster).  The feelings are there even though they are all taken care of now. I feel better but am breathing those feelings out.

It's funny at some level since these tasks are so mundane and the high voltage stress work I get finished at work pales in comparison but it's easier for me to work on those matters. Perhaps it's my arrogance that I think I'm too good for such menial clerical work?? Ha! I'm not too arrogant now.  :)

Part of my job is very stressful and that stress I know never goes away and I tell young people that every time is stressful and to accept it and it gets better the 10th time, the 100th time but the stress at some level will always be there and you need to learn how to deal with it.

I need to embrace the fact that doing mundane paperwork (or working with it after I have procrastinated for months) - will have its own level of discomfort or uncomfortable feelings. And it will always be there so I need a daily routine of showing up and not letting it build up.

So my core "list"

1.  Show up / Check in [+ reading] Done

2.  Ck calendar Done

3.  Plan to Plan [work on backlog morning + work & appt in afternoon/early evening] Done

4.  Exercise - plan in evening

 Have a great Friday. tracy-la

Please do not leave advice.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

I guess I need to contact my professor and tell him I work in orange county and will be working .  I just hate having to write these letters.  Ihate being someone who just doesn't have the work in on time.  I hate writing excuses.  I hate getting excused so that i don't do the work. I want to do the work.  I was just so phenomenally tired after yesterday I had no energy left at all.

OK, still feeling kind of sick, but a little better than yesterday.

MITs for today are:
*Finish genotyping, set up expt
*ask M about frozen sections, finish plan
*Work on WM (transfer over, test job)
*Write up S's project
*Get S. protocol

Then some scheduled stuff (seminar 12:15-1:30, youth group 5-9)

If I have exra time, I'll work on financial stuff and read some stuff on southern blots. 

Starting with the work on WM, then in about 30 min I need to pour gel for genotyping

Lucky, that is the moost precious starter I ever saw thank you!- that one is a keeper- I am printing it for the frig.! I had my younger son in a private school for his learning style issues, they were very successful and what amazed me most about the school was the use of "prizes" or "carrots" , and today he is doing very well (still asking for prizes by the way, but it could be watch a movie with him, it doesn't matter what the prize is).This summer he was promoted to supervisor at 16 on his first job (that was the prize: +$1.30 more/hr, etc., etc.) He got consequenses for unacceptable behavior, but the prizes got him back on the path.

Show up (done), think it through, connect with work buddy.(my  Adrenalin shot straight to the heart some days) to get me past the showing up zone into the "follow through zone"

Thanks for being here.

I want to thsnk my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.

I want to thank Lucky for starting this cute trend.

Things I plan to do today

1. Go to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting

2. Go to the 7:30 a.m. telephone PA meeting

3. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone CLA meeting

4. Go to class at 10 a.m.

5. Prayer and meditation morning and evening

6. Post Al-Anon literature for today

7. Eat breakfast

8. Eat dinner

9. Take shower

10. Get dressed

11. Go to work

12. Make bed'

13. Wash dishes

14. Do hair

15. Put non-perishible groceries away

16. Clear the floor

17. Pay my large bills.

18. Get my numbers caught up

Thanks for letting me share