Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Wednesday 20th September 2006
OK, here we go, gang. It's WEDNESDAY!!
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Lovely graphic added by pro.
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Oughtta be in bed
But I just ordered stuff for our Thanksgiving ski trip (we hope there will be snow for skiing, anyhow) to Denver area with family. Milo, you'd be proud--I printed out invoice and put into control Journal under Pending Orders. Now I'll know where it is until it comes! (And normally, I might have forgotten already by morning!) This evening I also managed to haul a small load of stuff to storage unit to make more room to work on the rest. I didn't clear the desk/table, but I did make a nice dent. Then I made myself stop so I wouldn't feel like I'd earned a vacation the next day (if I overdo one day, I blow off stuff like mad the next day). Good night, everybody! Sweet dreams!
Very proud
:)
Good on you!
pro's CI - 12:15am (THURSDAY!!)
I'm LATE, but I'm finally ready for bed.
pro's CI - 11:55pm
pro's CI - 11:15pm
It's been over an hour, and I still haven't started my bedtime routine. I'm very tired - gotta go to bed.
pro's CI - 10:05pm
The meeting I went to tonight is good, but it runs late. I need to get started on my bedtime routine.
1Focus 8:43
LOL. Attempted to get the grass mowed tonight. I promptly ran over a 12 foot cable and wrapped it around the blades quite securely. I managed to get one side cut loose and resisted a time binge to get the other side loose; I have other things to do. :)
Proudly Accomplished:
Morning Routine
Work Routine
Work Plan
Evening Routine
• Dinner and hang with family
• Farm chores (include kids)
Blew off:
• prioritze new project list from yesterday's meeting(got caught up in project planning)
• misc stuff
I want To Do:
Evening Routine
• Scoop catbox
• Office chores
• Early to bed (lights out 10:00pm)
One big focus:
Clean up financial responsibilities
• Stay on top of my "always" list
glad you can laugh!
Stuff like that lawnmower thing would make me seriously cranky. Kudos to you for being able to laugh!
1Focus 9:14
Finished:
• Scoop catbox
• Office chores
Time for a snack and off to bed
Where is Milo?
Anyone heard from Milo today or yesterday?
Nope
I haven't seen Milo or Normy. Miss them both. I have no idea what happened to them. Hopefully they'll be back.
pro's CI - 8:10pm
Everything takes me so much longer than I think it will. I finally got all the source code files debugged. I found a way to solve the last problem without making the files live.
Now I just have to write the program that sends out the notification letter. I won't make the other site changes live until the letter is written.
I'm tired - I've been working at this without a break for over 6 hours. Time to stop.
Looking at my to-do list... I forgot to pick up my mail today. Oops.
I am seriously fried
I need a break badly. My brain is tired. I'm going to a meeting in a few minutes - that will be good for. I feel like getting out of here.
WTG
Have a nice Meeting!
thanks
I'm heading out now. It's a little early, but I'm feeling very claustrophobic in this apartment. I've been sitting almost immobile for 6+ hours, programming.
I know you want me to fix a typo - I'll look for your post with the URL when I get back.
See ya!
Off
I think I may be off for a few days, i want to experiment with staying off the internet, because clearly today it was my major source of distractions. I need to figure out how I can stay both on this forum and off the internet at the same time. ::puzzled:: & ::sad::
Will check in again Monday.
pro's CI - 6:40pm
I've been working without break since my last check-in - programming. I have a bug that's bugging me, and the most frustrating part is it's hard to test without making it live. I backed out all the changes so I could work on this one problem before making anything live. I probably need to take a break.
Once again, I put my feet on the coffee table and when taking them down I knocked over the glass of water sitting there. I wonder how many times I will have to knock over the glass of water before I stop leaving it on the coffee table when my feet are there.
I'm feeling bleary. I had to make a bunch of tedious changes in dozens of files.
The meeting tonight is late, so I can continue to work for a while. I may not go at all. I think several meetings a week is enough - I don't want to continue going every day. I've been going frequently enough to know which are the meetings I like, and to get to know some of the people in the AA community here.
closing
OK, I don't think I am going to accomplish anything more today. No point seating and staring at the computer screen and fiddling with this and that.
So my last CI stands as a clossing bookend. :(
It is 1:35 in the morning, and I am going to prepare for bed.
good night, little sister!
Congratulate yourself on what you were able to accomplish today, and have a good sleep. :)
thank you
thank you (((pro)))
enjoy the evening.
Drat!
I posted a 1:45 CI and lost it, dadgummit! In it I said I would work on a big ol' frog I keep putting off--my table/desk (they merge). I had a plan to work 15 minutes on table, 15 minutes on some other chore, 15 mnutes on active, enriching fun, and 15 minutes just goofing off amilessly. Well, it didn't work out quite that way. I did do 15 minutes on my table (put a big box in attic, hauled away some items that go in other rooms, swept floor around desk, rearranged a lamp and extension cord, etc.) Didn't actually file any papers, though! But when the 15 minutes was up I went over and got my laptop set up for dial-up, FINALLY! Yay! Then I initialized Microsoft Office Outlook. I registered the product, too, so I had to create an account at MSN and all that, and confirm my email address(which meant checking my email), and yadayadayada....So here I am: it's 10 after 4 and I only spent 15 minutes on my desk. But will go back over to the house now and work on it 15 more minutes (and make DD work on her room 15 minutes), and then we will go shopping for shoes for her growing feet. Yuck--she's very picky. I will get rid of her at county fair afterwards and do something to reward myself for not killing her while we shop! Meanwhile, I am writing to you from my laptop! I will clearly have things to get used to, but so far I like it!
scarlett CI 4:53 pm
Got a little done on Frog 1a, and that's it. But at least I got a little. Tomorrow is blessedly clear of commitments, so it's gonna be frogalicious up in here.
Already done:
take cat to vet
eat breakfast
take pills/allergy meds
call tattoo parlor
make hair appt
email BMDC re: tix
post tix
call Johnny
talk to Johnny
email C re: phone message
check weather for Sat
check Cory B dates
RSVP to Susannah
deposit checks
check bank balance
process emails (15 min)
email Rich
Frog 1a - type comments
Postponed
Frog 1b
Clean desk 20 min. GTD style (10 min)
EXEC SUMMARY
demo review
Plan approval
sort mail
Wilson – windows? Call Kelly.
update start/finish grid
update $$ on each tab in spreadsheet
Tonight:
gym or home workout
fix/eat dinner
feed cats/scoop pan
tattoo parlor
8 pm mtg
TV night
bed @ 11
1Focus 4:39
Proudly Accomplished:
Morning Routine
Work Routine
Work Plan
• 9:00 Training meeting
• follow-up with contractor, finally got a return message (much apology, yada yada, we'll be there tomorrow)
• contact contractor for new project (I actually called 3)
• started detailing project plans since my first meeting is tomorrow
• committee meeting 3:00
Blew off:
• prioritze new project list from yesterday's meeting(got caught up in project planning)
• misc stuff
I want To Do:
Evening Routine
• Help in kitchen
• Dinner and hang with family
• Farm chores (include kids)
• Clean up kitchen
• Scoop catbox
• Office chores
• Early to bed (lights out 10:00pm)
One big focus:
Clean up financial responsibilities
• Stay on top of my "always" list
Gettin it done CI 3:15
Hiya gang. Feeling a wee bit better today. Went to see the doc, and he hooked me up with some Antibiotics, so I should now be on the road to wellness. Still planning on taking it easy rest of today. I have this habit of when I've been sick and not doing much i want to jump in a clean everything the second I feel a little better; then I do too much, then feel bad again... yada yada yada. When what I really need to do is still chill out for another day or so and let myself heal.
Done:
Cook Breakfast
DD3 to school
Wal-mart
Bank
Doctor
P/U DD3
home
CUOP
I obviously(or not so obvious I guess, since you all never hear me talk, much less sing) will not be going to choir practice tonight, as I have never heard of a soprano bullfrog, and if there was one she probably wouldn't be allowed in the Choir Loft. ;) Ribbit.
So my afternoon plan is:
Box/ put eggs away
Go thru mail/ throw out junk mail
Dinner
Try calling Elaine again
Maybe:
Farm chores W/ family. Such a beautiful day here. I really need to get out for a bit.
LittleSister CI
Time is here now 22: 15.
Progress
*work 3 hours on my writing project [this should take care of collecting and organizing my materials] PUT 1,5 HOURS INTO THIS, BACK TO THIS AFTER DINNER
*correct half of my postgraduate students projects (the other half tomorrow)
*professional reading
pro's CI - 2pm
I have a Web site where I publish articles on technical topics, and twice now this week people have written me asking for free consulting. "Thank you so much for your article. I'd like your advice on this or that." or "You seem to know a lot about this. I have x problem.... blah blah endless description."
Are people insane? Do they really think that a computer professional will give them free advice for the asking? The going rate for this kind of consulting is $100/hour. (You'd think I'd be able to make a living if I have skills that pay this well, but when I invite people to pay for this advice I never hear from them again.)
Upfront
(You'd think I'd be able to make a living if I have skills that pay this well, but when I invite people to pay for this advice I never hear from them again.)
Why not add a little item to your website or at the end of each article, "For more information on this topic you can consult with _____ for $100/hour." At least then you won't get the nuisance calls! And who knows--you might drum up paying customers!
JestRight - 10:54am - Interim CI
EDITORIAL COMMENT:
Drifting, websurfing this AM, still not dressed for work. Depressed over no social life. Wrote to a few girls, but that isn’t helping. Business mixer tonight, but that’s scary. Going home after those kind of events – outgoing energy with superficial-acquaintances-not-friends – always hurts like hell and brings me down. I can already feel it.
Meanwhile, looking forward to what I have to do at work is soul-chilling.
Maybe I’ll review goals. Need to set some kind of performing goal. What happened to the street-publicity idea I had for Nesto last night? Maybe I just need to get out. This day is on its way to being blown.
(1) I’ll call my sister Laura for prayer.
(2) I’ll invite Karol and maybe someone else to the mixer with me.
(3) I need to plan suicide, volunteer work around newborns or veterans, gunrunning to oppressed people, or a TV show. This life in greyscale needs waking up from.
(4) I’ll go on a trip to the pub tonight to hear some rockabilly.
Movie script or TV skit idea: Catholic man, searching for the meaning of life, realizes, a la Twilight Zone, that this IS purgatory – this isolation, this total absolute aloneness, this inability to form lasting relationships with ANYONE…. IS purgatory. “OOohhhhh,
Heaped up, pressed down, and spilling over
I get the impression that, like me, there are a lot of things you would like to be doing different: new goals, dreams, relationships, getting rid of bad habits, or whatever. The problem I run into is trying to do all those things at once. It doesn't work. I end up spinning my wheels going nowhere and feeling like I'm a failure.
I don't like to give advice, but you might try this ;) :
Give yourself some breathing room by identifying only what you must do to survive. In other words don't change the way you do things, and stop adding to the pile. Do this for a day or two and go to bed early.
Take a deep breath.
Of all the things you want to be different, pick ONE. Now integrate that into your life. Decide once and stick with it until its habit, until its done, or until you know without a doubt its not something you want after all.
Take a deep breath.
Rinse and repeat.
Attention-Grabbing
OK, wow--you know how to craft headlines that make people read further, don't you? Let's just toss the word suicide casually into the mix and see what happens, hmm? I understand about the grayness. Evidently even God does,too, because he says he'll spit out the lukewarm in faith, and that even those who hate him are less disgusting to him! Hmm. Now that would be an interesting ending: Tantalus prepares to leap into the abyss, and he finds Yahweh surfing into the flames right next to him because all the wishy-washy, harp-playing, white-cloudedness of heaven (no shadows, no colors, no hard edges) drove him out of his wits. Then you could do a whole series on life in hell with Yahweh--sort of an "On the Road with Maury" kind of thing. Or highlight the hotspots in hell, or some such. You know, William Blake wrote some cool stuff in The Marriage of Heaven and Hell about how much of standard religion might really be hell and how much condemned by piety to hell might actually be part of the glory of living. You are funny as hell, JestRight. But also clearly hurting and daring the universe to finish you off. While nobody should have to live forever in grayness, there's no escape from spending a little time there now and again. Besides--you don't sound all-gray. Not really. I hear despair and hopelessness and a certain fatigue, but also anger and determination and a wicked wit and even hatred, a lot of it headed your own direction. You know there are flower essences to help with the despair and the rage and the boredom. You have the most aggressive ennui I've ever seen, though--almost seems like you don't want to ameliorate it. Maybe it keeps you from having to examine something? You're amongst friends, buddy. Let your hair down. You can always go off topic if you need to.
C'mon, Universe, throw down
"But also clearly hurting and daring the universe to finish you off"
LOL - Yeah, for many, many years, I suppose.
Like the Franz Ferdinand song, "Take Me Out"...
Or when I call cops names in the police station, or face down groups of bullies?
But the alternative, oh no, thats too unthinkable. Heavens to Betsy.
I just dont see where I have to suffer hellish torment forever. So why not stand in front of God, and challenge him, like Job did, and say, what was my sin?
So why not take on the New World Order, or run guns to Darfur?
What exactly is it that I have to LOSE? What is it I have to be afraid of? I can't think of anything that scares me anymore, except humiliation - and hell, I'm getting used to that.
I do see the amusing, theatrical side of it - little Job facing down The Almighty.
But right now this does seem to be the way the story is written.
This character would much rather appear in a movie with palm trees, umbrella drinks and tanned bodies on the beach. But here I am stuck in the lost Cecil B DeMille classic.
Expert Self-Sabotage?
"almost seems like you don't want to ameliorate it. Maybe it keeps you from having to examine something?"
when i see others in a tail-chasing cyclone, i can easily spot the hopelessness and pointlessness, and advise them how to break the cycle. not that such people listen, before hitting bottom hard.
anyway, since i am indeed going nowhere aggressively, i accept your premise. obviously MY perception is that I DO try VERY HARD to ameliorate my life, but lets go by results, and assume I'm engaged in deliberate self-sabotage.
okay, i stopped. i got dressed for work, got the car loaded, and after a while, got undressed. i simply didnt want to go. i DONT want to go, if there is no end in sight. came in here and read these responses. OK. i'm off the merry-go-round of pretending.
ok. what is the thing i am supposed to be examining?
the only thing i can think of, is to stop the pretense of a day-job in real estate, and try to do creative stuff only.
thats the only thing for which i dont need drugs, cognac, elixirs, and the hope of new girlfriends, to stimulate me to do.
other suggestions? i'm wide open to any suggested actions i can take on my own.
Hah
"Tantalus prepares to leap into the abyss, and he finds Yahweh surfing into the flames right next to him because all the wishy-washy, harp-playing, ...drove him out of his wits."
First time I laughed today.
scarlett CI 1pm
Wow, I feel so discombobulated the last couple days. Training pt. 1 was pretty good yesterday - more to come next week. Cat is probably okay.
As you can see, I've been productive on the personal front today, but have yet to get back into the swing of work. I have *got* to knock out some of these frogs today, they are piling up! I have a mtg @ 1:30; until then I'm tackling 1a.
Sorry, I probably won't be able to CUOP from the past couple of days. Hope everone's doing well..
Already done:
take cat to vet
eat breakfast
take pills/allergy meds
call tattoo parlor
make hair appt
email BMDC re: tix
post tix
call Johnny
talk to Johnny
email C re: phone message
check weather for Sat
check Cory B dates
RSVP to Susannah
deposit checks
check bank balance
To Do:
process emails (15 min)
Clean desk 20 min. GTD style (10 min)
Frog 1a
Frog 1b
EXEC SUMMARY
demo review
Plan approval
sort mail
Wilson – windows? Call Kelly.
update start/finish grid
update $$ on each tab in spreadsheet
email Rich
Tonight:
gym or home workout
fix/eat dinner
feed cats/scoop pan
tattoo parlor
8 pm mtg
TV night
bed @ 11
pro's CI - 12:50pm
little sister is checking in
Time is here now 19: 45.
Progress
*work 3 hours on my writing project [this should take care of collecting and organizing my materials] PUT 1,5 HOURS INTO THIS
*correct half of my postgraduate students projects (the other half tomorrow)
*professional reading
pro's CI - 12:10pm
1Focus 11:43
I actually called 2 more contractors in addition to the one I know. We are bidding this project out, after all. This was huge for me. In the past I would have waited until things were already moving with contractor 1, before even contacting anyone else. This time I just jumped in with both feet and made the calls. I feel like I don't know anything about what I'm getting into, but I'm allowed to ask questions :P
Proudly Accomplished:
Morning Routine
Work Routine
Work Plan
• 9:00 Training meeting
• follow-up with contractor (left messages in 3 different places, will call again this afternoon)
• contact contractor for new project (I actually called 3)
I want To Do:
Work Plan
• follow-up with contractor
• prioritze new project list from yesterday's meeting
• misc stuff
• committee meeting 3:00
Evening Routine
One big focus:
Clean up financial responsibilities
• Stay on top of my "always" list
Note to pro: I used my closing tags today, so far
why thank you!
>Note to pro: I used my closing tags today, so far
:)
pro's CI - 10:50am
I want to go outside for a bit so I don't get cabin fever while I'm working. Next on my to-do list is "Reflection". I think I'll bring my tablet PC to the park (that's where my journal is), and write there.
I enjoyed doing the Pilates this morning. This is fun - I think this is going to be a good exercise solution for me.
Where's Normy? Did she say she was going away for a few days? I'm not caught up on posts.
LS opening bookend
Sorry I missed yesterday :(
So far today I've scrabbed the bathroom [necessary, plumber here yesterday, remember].
Time is here now 16:50.
Items for today's bookend
*work 3 hours on my writing project [this should take care of collecting and organizing my materials]
*correct half of my postgraduate students projects (the other half tomorrow)
*professional reading
*exercise 40min
pro's CI - 9:30am
The work portion of my to-do list is the rollover from yesterday. That approach is working well for me - takes care of the "review to-do list" item.
pro's CI - 8:55am
I checked my email and answered some messages while eating breakfast - something I've been disallowing recently - because I wanted some time to pass to allow food to digest before exercising. I've finished breakfast and washed the dishes now. Next is to make the bed and push it out of the way so I can put down my yoga mat.
I'm way behind in posts. Sorry to people I haven't responded to yet - I will.
1Focus 8:43
I'm kind of in good overwhelm today. I received the go-ahead on a large list of major projects for the next couple of months. All of which are new territory for me. Lot's of fear of not doing it right/perfect or whatever. I am practicing just doing it. I'll learn as I go.
Proudly Accomplished:
Morning Routine
• Out of bed 6:10 (target 6:00)
• Ready for anything
• Feed DD0
• Breakfast
• Unload dishwasher
• Head to work
Note for Slider: Notice I fed DD0 AND unloaded the dishwasher, now that's progress! :)
Work Routine
• Meet with staff/general plan
• CUOP
• Time Sheets
• Clear my head
• Specific plan for the day
I want To Do:
Work Plan
• 9:00 Training meeting
• follow-up with contractor
• contact contractor for new project
• prioritze new project list from yesterday's meeting
• misc stuff
• committee meeting 3:00
Evening Routine
One big focus:
Clean up financial responsibilities
• Stay on top of my "always" list
Note to pro: I used my closing tags today, so far
Great strides!
:LOL:
pro's CI - 7:40am EDT US
I'm deep into migraine mode - getting them every day now. It figures. I hadn't gotten them in a couple weeks, so I was due. It was so delightful to be migraine-free, and it so sucks to have a crashing headache each morning when I wake up.
Got up at 7:15am. Making coffee now. I was eating breakfast at the end of my morning routine before, but I'm going to do it first today so there is time for my food to digest before I do my Pilates.
Big changes
You've made some big changes in the last couple weeks, and now your migraines start up again. Coincidence? I think not.
Apparently I'm physically allergic to change. That hidden part of me that's always causing problems starts making me sick, hurt, and gives me migraines whenever I am at a place of change in my life. It seems old habits die hard.
I dunno...
It's true that I've been making big changes (good ones!), but I don't think that's connected to the migraines. I've always gotten them cyclically - since I was a kid. I'll go for a period of time when I don't get them at all, and then I'll get them every day for a while. My mother's pattern is the same (I inherited this from her).
I know of some specific, physical triggers for my migraines - bright sunlight, loud noise, alcohol (no longer an issue for me), teeth clenching, allergies or sinus infections, and some other things. But I've never noticed any kind of emotional connection.
Interesting
Mine are cyclical, too. Mom says I started talking about them when I was 5. I didn't realize headaches weren't normal until my senior year in high school.
Anyway, I have detemined mine are always emotional. My headaches are pretty debilitating, and I can't do the emotional work necessary until they are under contol, physically. It usually takes me awhile to figure out the real trigger, but it is always emotional/spritual. Food for thought.
I became aware of the connection when I saw that I was creating severe nose bleeds on command. Pretty scary what our brains can do to our bodies.
mind-body connection
>I became aware of the connection when I saw that I was creating severe nose bleeds on command. Pretty scary what our brains can do to our bodies.
Weird! I've read that yogis can stop their heart beats on command.
I've always been very interested in the mind-body connection. I wrote a paper about this when I was in graduate school.
I have ulcerative colitis - another non-lovely autoimmune disorder - and that definitely is triggered by emotional stress. (That's what I take pills for three times a day.) But I've never noticed any connection between my migraines and emotional stress. Of course, I've been under such constant emotional stress since I lost my job (and career) a few years ago that it's hard to say. :P