Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Monday, November 9, 2009

fudoshin: realization: 10: 06pm

Please do not leave advice.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 



I made a realization tonight while talking to my sponsor from another program.  This addiction, procrastination, is not about my NOT showing up for people or laziness.  This addiction is not about being unreliable or being disintegrous or being incompetent or not managing my time correctly, this addiction is not about avoiding work for me.  This addiction is about feeling unworthy to take the credit for my gifts and my talents.  This addiction is about feeling unworthy to claim my own potential.  All my life, I have felt guilty because of this addiction, b/c I have thought of myself what I assume (possibly wrongly)  other people think of me based on it.  I have been ashamed, and I have repeated a cycle of shame, just so that I can justify feeling guilty and ashamed of myself.  I have participated in this addiction, even after I've gotten right with myself, because I have felt the need to keep on proving to myself that I'm UNWORTHY.  This addiction is a way for me to manufacture shame about myself. 

Two things are at work here.  First, I had the shame about myself, then I used procrastination, in order to manufacture more shame about myself so that I could never forgive myself or feel above par.  The addiction fuels the shame that fuels it.  So it's a rapacious self-feeding mechanism.   How much shame is enough?  Frankly, I'd like to be removed of this obsession of causing myself shame right now.  And I don't know when I'm going to be ready, but I want to be ready, even if-- as I say these very words, I still feel an inner voice say, "But I don't want to be out of shame."  That's the addiction right there.  It ain't got nothing to do with being a reliable or unreliable human being, who is accountable for her time.  This is about being addicted to shame.  I wish I could be out of it, and I have no idea, how to do this.  So I'm praying now to my Higher Power to help free me of the bondage of SELF (and by that I mean, the bondage of self-shame.)  I need help, not just from the HP but the program.  I have been in shame all my life and felt that I did not deserve what I deserved all my life.  It's so frickin ridiculous.  So this is going to be my new prayer to my HP: "Help me on a daily basis to release myself from the bondage of self-shame.  Help me to be proud of myself and to feel comfortable with that climate for myself."  

fudo_shin's realization

This was very helpful to me today, fudoshin. Thanks much for sharing your process and realization.  I have a new perspective from which to observe my addiction today, and my own version of the prayer you shared.  I feel this could be a verry different kind of day for me today...sending a spiritual gratitude hug your way...

Recycler CI 9:10pm EST

Hi Pro Buddies!

At the gym this morning I did my cardio, stretching & ab exercises.

At work, I did priority items on my assignment list and went through my emails before staff meeting. I had been worried about staff meeting, but made it through ok. After staff meeting, it took until past 1:30 to transfer all my meeting notes to my project list. At lunchtime I had to take a break, and I went out & got lunch at a local diner, then went into a quiet room to rest. After lunch, I still had some work requests coming in, so I took care of those.

I successfully did a Hard project for my boss, using computer skills that very few people in my workplace have, so I have to give myself kudos for that, even though no one else knows it was a big deal. Then I re-prioritized my assignment list at the end of the day and highlighted it for in the morning.

After work, I went to my chiropractor appt, bought some vitamins, and went to the local meeting of one of my other 12-step programs. I also tried to run an errand to a local tech store, but it had closed; I'll try another location of the store on Saturday. My sponsor wasn't at the meeting, so I didn't get to meet with them tonight; I will email them later tonight or another time. Arriving at home, I was hungry so I ate some salad. While I need to transition to sleep, I am thankful to get a chance to check in.

Have a great night, everyone! :)


Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

Convalaria attempting recovery again. Tuesday 9.03, 14.02, 16.05

I have not checked in for a long time but I have been reading here every day.

The plan for this morning:

  • dump water on garden  done
  • shower to shoes     done
  • check doggy has water and poo pick up done
  • see mother  done
  • try on dress in shop  done
  • go to archives meeting got dates mixed up, visited a friend in hospital
  • return home and check in with furher plans done

Back home; have had lunch and a drink. Next i am going to:

  • dump more water on garden done
  • water all pot plants started
  • work on laundry started
  • make several phone calls for doctor appointments good progress made
  • work on papaer pile on table good progress made
  • check in at 3.30 to report progressdone a little late

Next I will:

  • finish watering pot plants done
  • continue dumping water on garden still in progress
  • work on laundry NOT ENOUGH !! got distracted by spider solitaire
  • got to doctors appointment a 5.10 done
  • check on when I return home finally done after distraction

It is now 6.35pm. I need to:

  • finish the laundry nload in washer and continue to dum the water
  • cook something for self and son
  • tidy the kitchen have a cool bath and brush teeth and moisturise face
  • watch some TV and read for maybe 30 minutes

It has been a mostly good day.

"Recovery from procrastination means doing what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it."

"When we multiply tiny increments of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can acco

wb convalaria!

"The world is my classroom, each day is a new lesson, and every person I meet is my teacher" - Craig Harper


I don't know why but I just loved your dumping water on the garden, for some reason it made my day, thanks for sharing.

Thank you Journey and Vic

Melbourne is in the midst of an unprecedented November heat wave  and we have hade stage 3A water restrictions for a long time due to draught. I have a nice garden and save every skerrick of laundry, shower anddish water I can to use on my garden. This is  time consumong and can interrupt other activities and tasks. I mananged it well for most of Tuesday.

"Recovery from procrastination means doing what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it."

"When we multiply tiny increments of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can acco

Hope-Faith CI 3:55

Thanks for the thread starter Edge

Off work today had a dr's appointment and then I just kinda blow the rest of the day, had high hopes and good intentions but it never happend. I will chalk it up to a well dsevered break but now it needs to end.

Things I need to accomplish before I go to bed.

  1. load of clothes
  2. unload dishwasher
  3. Swish and Swipe
  4. Financials
  5. E-mail
  6. 15 min of clothes organization
  7. 1 area to 0 degrees
  8. Supper
  9. Master List
  10. Softball
  11. Boyscouts
  12. Read
  13. Lesson Plans
  14. Update blog

Hummm I know that I can think of more but this will have to do for now I am in one of my "do stuff modes"


CL daily overcoming

today was one of those rare days where i did pretty well w/o tools. Or at least, w/o checking in and writing down. Just having a mental priority list and doing them.

every other time in my life i would have considered that evidence that i'm healed. Or certainly well on my way.

too late for that for me. I know i'm an addict, and if dont return to the tools, i'll fall off the bandwagon today.

What's nice about that, is that i hit a wall today. Now since i already have accepted that i'm an addict, this is No Big Deal. I expected it. par for the course. run of the mill. If, however, i had started thinking i'm over this thing once and for all, this minor setback would cause grave soul searching.


i am here to face next right actions. I'll just take them one at a time and trust it will get all done.

first, next right action at work.

the touch of the master's hand:

"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb

Hi All!!

My computer has caught a virus, and the message I just composed got wiped out, so here I go again!! Hope we can clear up our computer?

I haven't called in sick to work in over a month, but did today. I'm lucky to have lots of sick days and vacation days, at it's so hard for me to work there.

I need to:
-go to on-line Alanon meeting or two
-find out what prescription instructions are for Yoffee and send to Dr.
-order on-line stuff for Yoffee
-post on other site
-find another p.t.
-reschedule Dr. S. appt.

Haven't been willing to do my back exercises for weeks now (found a new way to hurt myself).

My mind screams that I'm not allowed to receive help on this site...that I won't fit in, etc.

Grateful for my food abstinence and this beautiful day,

hugs & prayers,
♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥

Agnus checking in

Step 11 was a bit short for my tastes today but is done, as is food planning and sponsor calls, and light house clean-up. Son is trimming trees in yard, J is getting ready to come with me to my Dr appt (J: "You always come with me to mine..." He's being sweet today. Think I'll keep him...). Hence the plan is:

  • Dr appt
  • Return call to atty
  • Lunch
  • Pick up supps @ chiro
  • Home to resume work tasks
    • AP update to SS
    • RM retuning to RR
    • CA health research
    • ermks outline

My intention, with God's help, is to be diligent but reasonable with myself and others about how much of these work tasks can actually be completed in a 30-hour work week, which is all I desire to commit to billable hours. Since "diligent but reasonable" is impossible for a compulsive procrastinator like me, I commit to not spending the first minute avoiding tasks, and trust my Higher Power for the results.

Agnus checking out

I did not get to any of the billable work today, but I did not procrastinate either.  And I did make it to all my appiontments on time, and I completed all the personal tasks I needed to do.

Now I am packing my dinner, heading out to an AA meeting, then an Alanon meeting, then to the bank and grocery store. Bed by 10 pm. Tomorrow I will pray again for grace to do billable work!

journey 11 am

working from home today because the car wouldn't start.   I think it's just a dead battery, at least I hope it's a dead battery.

Anyway, I wasn't prepared mentally for a work at home day so I'm having trouble getting into the groove here. 

I have my todo list, and the first thing I need to do is prepare for a 1 pm meeting, but I'm just kinda zoning.  Checking in to get the ball rolling!


"The world is my classroom, each day is a new lesson, and every person I meet is my teacher" - Craig Harper

mj monday monday

today's priorities:

1.paperwork for aps

walk dogs

pick up dog poop

look at car

call dentist

apply for $


8's ci 8am

  • shake and shower
  • meeting leave early for client (call first)
  • client
  • home check out email for order and see about cred coucil for client
  • call al and cathy
  • bike pre lunch, watch vid with r/s
  • lunch finish  vid.  
  • abs, push ups.
  • coffee shop/computer
  • dinner mnf bike 330 in 30.
  • dexter.

OCz morning ci

  1. a minute to talk to god!
  2. Show up!
  3. List tasks for today:
  4. @Work
    1. 10:00 prepare material for 11 mtng 
    2. 11:00 mtng on MoP project
      1. Reply about next steps for this week:
        1. Get final quote from vendor
        2. Decide pp supply model
        3. Decide op support model
        4. Schedule mtng about financials
        5. Prepare historic report
    3. PO review
      1. Hp
      2. Tcl
      3. WaN
      4. Sdtl
      5. Urgn
  5. @Home
    1. md @4.5k/m
    2. Get Tmx rec to ch dmcl
  6. @GaP
    1. Update caledar
    2. Finish Rtr planning

Thank you all for being here!

one step at a time!

what time zone for the daily phone meeting?


What time zone is it for the 8:30 am phone meeting?  

 many thanks, peaceit 


daily phone meeting is eastern standard time

hope to see you there! let me know if you have other questions.

Nov 9 Check in kipgrifg

I learned a big lesson yesterday.  I need to check -in  with PA in morning.  I stay on track if I do this.   Yesterday got away from me a little bit.  I did not write my small priorty list for day the night before.  I thought with it being Sunday my day would clip along just fine without it.  Well I found out without some type of plan or to do list for the day I am scattered.  Thanks to PA I did not get down on myself like I use to, I just stopped, thought about what I wanted out of the day, needed to accomplish and made my list.  From that point on the day went a lot better.  Some things got accomplished and I did not feel focused.   Today I am starting earlier, small steps make BIG improvementss.

kromer 9 CI

Today is a busy day.

Went to the phone meeting this morning (which was really good), then had prayer time.

Scheduled today: class 10-1, dancing 8-10

MITs for today are:
(missed phone CI about this :blush: )
*Order supplies
*Make schedule for the week
*Talk to MG about injections, ask around the lab for technical advice, look up how to do std curve 
*Financial stuff (have done some of this, will do the rest after dancing)

Other tasks:
*Read a couple of stats papers (will do this soon)
*Organize papers, computer files and freezer boxes

*deacon notes (will do this soon)
*clean up lab nb (will do this soon)

OK, right now I'm going to order supplies (10-15 min), then I'll work on proofreading until 10. 

Vic 11/9

Showing up , one more day (done)

ok production yesterday, consistently better than before

Edge's CI - 1:56pm

Mm, feeling kind of anxious today and not sure why. Having trouble dealing with my work tasks =/ Going to focus on one thing at a time and ignore the anxiety.

Hope everyone has a good day :)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action - Walter Anderson