Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Hello you all, I'm glad to find this site

First of all, excuse me for my English, as it is not my mother language.

 

I've been thinking for years what happens to me, why I don't face my responsibilities, mainly in the working area. I was unemployed for some time, and I was happy and worried at the same time. Happy for having the time to do all I wanted (beach, walking, reading, dogs, swimming)) and worried because I had to compete with other people to find a job and I never felt like starting with it and convincing anybody of my personal value.

 

Now I am a teacher, but I'm afraid I'm not a very good one, because I don't enjoy it, because I think I'm not a very good one, and I don't enjoy it and... (I realize this right now). Apart from that, once a year, I have to compete with other teachers to get a fix post in competitive exams, and I have to start studying but I never do it, I always have something more interesting to do (like now, that I found this site).

As I said, I'm a teacher, without a fix post, that means I work where there is a teacher needed. And everyday I'm scared when I look in the education web pages thinking that I have to start working the next day in a substitution, cause my happy days doing nothing "responsible" would therefore end. 

 

I have always thought this has a funny point, as I see myself as an intelligent and competent person on the surface, and I think if I studied I would have no problem, but I'm afraid that deeper inside if I failed, I would found out that I'm not that competent as I thought, and maybe "being intelligent" is all I have in my life.

Now I think I may need professional help. I have started paying a big amount to examinations trainers, but if I don't contribute with my effort, they will not be able operate the miracle.

 

Now I'm going to take my books and read a little. I promised myself I would do it this morning, and now its 6:30 pm. The day is getting darker, and this makes me feel even worse, cause it means the day is gone, and that makes me feel anxious. I really started editing this letter and now I "have" to walk my dogs.

:-) I wish you understand what I tried to explain

 Kind regards

Carmen (Milu)

welcome, Carmen!

This is a great place for support! Glad you are here!

rec

glad to meet you, carmen

your story sounds familiar to many here, including myself: intelligent, successful when i apply myself, but dont apply myself very often.

i believe the secret is to admit i'm addicted to procrastination (sounds weird, but it reveals the point that the urge to do something else is huge, at times irresistible).

I think i see some "Sign 9" in your story--it was a huge eye opener to me in my life:

9. We suffer from Demand Resistance, causing us to do anything and everything except the one thing we most need to do. http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/files/PA_Signs.html

The most popular tools here are the Daily Check-ins at http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/forum/6 (you can see today's on the right sidebar), and chat at http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/chatbox

Use the tools however they work for you. Check-in is the more permanent, concrete to do list - accountability place to start your day and refer back to and keep yourself on goal.

The chat is an ongoing motivational tool to help you stick to your check in. It's also a place to "talk yourself thru things." And, while working, ppl can hear chat beeps going off. we call that "beeps of solidarity" because it's comforting to know that we're all in this together, that people are in chat working thru their issues just like your, even if you're not reading the actual posts.bv

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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb

Welcome Carmen!

"You've got to trust your instinct, and let go of regret.  You've got to bet on yourself now, star, 'cause that's your best bet." - from All Mixed Up by 311

Hi and welcome

Welcome to our group, this is a very supportive group keep checking in and using the resources here and you will see your progress.

I too am a teacher and I know that fear of not feeling like I am a good teacher. The first year was just awful. But when I started teaching I made the decison to hang in for 3 years. The first year was to see if I could actually do it. The second year was to see if I could be better than the first year 3rd year was to see if I could really make a difference. Well this is my 13th year teaching and I still feel that I am not the best teacher that I could be but I know that is because of my desire to be perfect. I have learned that perfect does not exist at all levels so (something are perfect and other will always need improving) I am happy with the fact that I get up and go to work everyday to make a difference in the life's of my students and to have fun. I love being in my classroom it is my world and I have fun and we learn and have a great time.

 So just be the best that you can be, it does not matter about others best efforts you are only responsible for yours and when you feel you have not done your best evulate efforts and improve them next time. One step at a time, start where you are at and move forward. Good luck and you can do it.

 

hope-faith

Welcome Milu! This is a great place

Welcome Carmen! This is a great place

First of all, congratulate yourself for your courage on coming here and start doing something about your problem.

Look at what you say, it is very revealing:
“I was unemployed for some time, and I was happy and worried at the same time. Happy for having the time to do all I wanted (beach, walking, reading, dogs, swimming)) and worried because I had to compete with other people to find a job and I never felt like starting with it and convincing anybody of my personal value. “

Then you have a conflict with your current occupation “Now I am a teacher, but I'm afraid I'm not a very good one, because I don't enjoy it,” Yeah, teaching doesn’t have much to do with beach, walking, reading, dogs and swimming, right?

All right! So you have identified some of your value activities: Beach, walking, reading, dogs and swimming, plus having time to do it.
Then you have identified that you were overwhelmed by the challenge to find a job “had to compete with other people to find a job”, It is ok to feel overwhelmed, the problem is what do you do with that feeling, freezing is not a healthy option

Then you say”:
“I never felt like starting with it and convincing anybody of my personal value. “
WE all have ill-believes that prevent us from gloating a little about our value, self marketing is an art that needs to be developed with practice.

Then you say “. The day is getting darker, and this makes me feel even worse, cause it means the day is gone, and that makes me feel anxious. I really started editing this letter and now I "have" to walk my dogs”
Experiment: write about the good side of the day being darker..

I would recommend some soul searching for your real passion and some research to make your passion lucrative.
Perhaps become a dog walker who walks dogs on the beach and takes them swimming? ;-)

I don’t know if I can recommend books here, anybody can tell me if I can?