Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

New here - just realized I had this problem

Hello, I´m new here and so glad I found this site.

I realized just a few days ago I have this problem. I´ve been a chronic procrastinator all my life, but I was in heavy denia.

I was a professional writer, college lecturer and art festival director (in another country, I´m not English or American) but lost the last two due to procrastination. I´m on the verge of losing my writing career and haven´t delivered for years. I feel so ashamed of how I have destroyed my life by fear of failure and fear of success.

I need to know why I do this and how I stop doing it. All I know is that I have ruined a chance of a professional career and happy homelife. I have isolated myself for years because I haven´t been able to deliver. I have promised my friends, co-workers and family that I will be publishing shortly, but each year I back out with some excuse.

Now I cannot excuse myself any longer. I have a full manuscript for more than two books, I just cannot make myself go to the publisher because of a failure ten years ago.

I´m also heavily in debt, because I´ve squandered money running away from my problem, but I´m always anxious, always tense.

My house is dirty and messy, I don´t have time to do anything with my child because I´m constantly working on small time projects. When I invite people over, I clean for hours and make myself sick with fear and worry. I cannot wait for the guests to leave so I can surf the net and lie in bed. I have no love life.

But I know there is hope. And I´m willing to do what it takes to stop this behaviour.

Please help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

lilywhite - Welcome!

Hi!

I hear ya', Girl!  I think you are in the right place!  Keep comin' back!  I've been there too, and things ARE getting better.

Take care, and lots of hugs going out to you,

Julie (aka JulesK)

This is what I have found works for me

If you find it relevant to your situation, feel free to take whatever you find for your use. If not, no obligation, no harm, no foul.

When I have a big project or a really, really, really big project, it's easy for me to put off doing anything on it because I feel like I don't know where to start. I've wasted days and weeks that way.

The same has been true for me in the actual project of beating procrastination.

I can get myself into a box in which I tell myself there's ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY!!! and I MUST FIND THAT RIGHT WAY!!! or else I'M LOST!!!!

But I have been most successful when I step back and remind myself, there isn't just one right way. I can start anywhere and do something and find my way to the next step. 

And if something seems to work but it turns out it doesn't work so well, then I have learned from that and can move on. (Don't know if it's true but there's an old story that someone asked a famous inventor -- was it Edison, about his light bulb? -- if he felt like a "failure" because of all the attempts at making his invention that turned out to be dead ends. "No," he is supposed to have said, "now I know 990 things that won't work!")

So if you need a place to start, maybe -- just maybe, you can decide for yourself if it's the right place -- it's composing some short affirmations that can get you going every day. Things like "I don't have to be perfect." "I can start with one thing". "I can start anywhere."

Just some ideas. Use what's useful to you. Ignore what isn't.

 

And welcome!!!

 

 

 

~~

Want what you have. Be who you are. Do what you can. ~Forrest Church (1948-2009)

The Hero's Code:

Show Up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.

Welcome lilywhite!

Glad to have you! This site has helped me a bunch and I hope it helps you too.

I've found the checkin board and the chatbox particularly helpful, but feel free to use whatever combination of tools works best for you :)

hi Lily

You came to the right place               

I found the reasons why we do what we do are unimportant,and even if I knew it still would not cure me, for me , staying on the solution is, baby steps. You are not alone anymore.

Welcome here lilywhite

You've come to the right place--I hope you'll find support, solidarity, hope and steps towards recovery here...keep coming back.

Hello Lilywhite, welcome!

I can honestly say you've come to the right place... at least I know I have!

please keep comming back! you'll find a lot of resuorces within the articles but most of the help comes from just showing off.

It migth look sometimes like reading within this site is just another way of procrastination, but I believe it's time well spent, and that's one thing we need to learn... to make a good spending of our time!

You've made a great step just by posting here... please continue to do so, there's a lot of people willing to share what is working for us. There's no medicine or quick cure to what we have, but sharing really does help.

What has helped me more is to understand that I'm not alone, and the biggest step I've made so far is understanding that I'm responsible for most of what happens around me... but also to understand that I cannot overcome procrastination by myself, I have tried that road and know where it takes. I know I will need a strength greater than me and I know it will come from my Higher Power and also from the people who understand me, my fellow Procrastrinators Anonymous.

Please trust that you will find something that will eventually help you... just keep coming back! 

 

living one step at a time!

Thanks a lot for your

Thanks a lot for your replies and warm welcome.

Where do I go from here? Are there any guidelines to help?

Best wishes,

Lily

 

 

Where do I start?

Hi Lily,

In Clement words:

The most popular tools here are the Daily Check-ins at http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/forum/6 (you can see today's on the right sidebar), and chat at http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/chatbox

Use the tools however they work for you. Check-in is the more permanent, concrete to do list - accountability place to refer back to start day and refer back and keep yourself on goal.

The chat is an ongoing motivational tool to help you stick to your check in. It's also a place to "talk yourself thru things." And, while working ppl can hear chat beeps going off. we call that "beeps of solidarity" because it's comforting to know that people are in chat working thru their issues, even if you're not reading the actual posts.

You may also start here: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/387

There's also these tips here: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/161 which I have modified for myself and I have placed it as an image in my windows desktop wall paper among with the serenity prayer:

1. Visualization.
2. Break it down into small steps.
3. Exercise brute-force willpower.
4. Use a timer.
5. Play devil's advocate on my excuses.
6. Eliminate distractions.
7. Think: the task can turn to cancer.
8. Plan what I want to do.
9. Start before I feel ready.
10. By all means: End what I start!

This ways I always have it available as a reference!

Thank you very much. I

Thank you very much.

I have difficulties using the chatbox as I don´t chat regularly and it feels overwhelming.

I tried to start a to do list in the other forum, but I got completely overwhelmed too. I don´t know where to start.

I have been using tick off lists and timers and I´m a slave to it, a habit I´m trying to break.

I have probably too many goals and too many lists, so I need help breaking the lists down.

To me it´s necessary to define why I procrastinate. I´ve been in AA and I recently  became a member of DA. I know the tools work up to a point and do stop the behaviour - but only for a while. After some time I go back to the bad behaviour, because I never fixed the underlying fear, anxiety and fear of failure.

This is something I feel I need to address as well.

All the best,

Lily

 

 

Don't have to use all the tools!

Hi,

At PA there's a lot of resources... but you are not obligated to use them...

there's a lot of articles... but you're not obligated to read them

there's a lot of advice... but you're not obligated to follow them

my point is... since you are not obligated to do anything here... you shouldn't find any resistance from it. Give it a try... if you see it doesn't feel like you, or it's not working, you may stop using it...

My only recomendation is to keep comming back.

I don't do chat, and I have trouble making lists and following them. but I have found the daily check in very useful...

By the way, I noticed you posted your weekly check in! that's great! congratulations on that!

Now the next step would be to select one of the tasks and trying to work on it... and don't worry about the outcome... whatever progress you achieve, return to your check in and edit it so you can track your progress. And don't worry about how much you still need to make, feel joy from what you just accomplished.

Which task to start with? well, I cannot give you advice there... only you know what's more important... maybe a good thing would be to find where are the priorities in your life... is it family? is it work? - other consideration would be to find whats more urgent at the moment... while your family migth be on top of your priorities, maybe today is more important to complete a work task so you get paid...

Hang in there, and remember we'll be here to listen what you have to share!

As of me, I'll take a good look on what I just wrote... as so many of it migth work for me as well! (I mean, it's easy giving advice, right?)

One other thing... the daily check in is just one thresad where we write our daily tasks and feelings and accomplishments... it helps to feel accountable to others, and when you're feeling down others migth "sense" it and cheer you up. Just take a look at today's one on http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/2398

But again, do whatever works for you! 

Have a great week! 

Thanks

Dear OCz,

Your reply made my day. Smile

Thank you so much, I have already completed three goals on my check list, now I want to go over what you said about work and family and will post it here.

I feel so much better, just to get support and understanding of what I´m going through really makes it worthwhile.

The check lists are a great idea. It´s necessary to feel accountable. 

Again, thanks and have a great week.

Love, 

Lily