New here - just realized I had this problem
Hello, I´m new here and so glad I found this site.
I realized just a few days ago I have this problem. I´ve been a chronic procrastinator all my life, but I was in heavy denia.
I was a professional writer, college lecturer and art festival director (in another country, I´m not English or American) but lost the last two due to procrastination. I´m on the verge of losing my writing career and haven´t delivered for years. I feel so ashamed of how I have destroyed my life by fear of failure and fear of success.
I need to know why I do this and how I stop doing it. All I know is that I have ruined a chance of a professional career and happy homelife. I have isolated myself for years because I haven´t been able to deliver. I have promised my friends, co-workers and family that I will be publishing shortly, but each year I back out with some excuse.
Now I cannot excuse myself any longer. I have a full manuscript for more than two books, I just cannot make myself go to the publisher because of a failure ten years ago.
I´m also heavily in debt, because I´ve squandered money running away from my problem, but I´m always anxious, always tense.
My house is dirty and messy, I don´t have time to do anything with my child because I´m constantly working on small time projects. When I invite people over, I clean for hours and make myself sick with fear and worry. I cannot wait for the guests to leave so I can surf the net and lie in bed. I have no love life.
But I know there is hope. And I´m willing to do what it takes to stop this behaviour.