Monday July 13, 2009

Hi, PAls! I've been away nearly 2 weeks, with a trip that started as a four day vacation but got out of hand on the fourth day: urgent business trip followed by 3 days of Mom-sitting. First day back at home office today, had unexpected babysitting duties. What an exciting life! I have 3 goals for what's left of today:

• resume update and mail
• bill basket cleaned
• decide whether to watch launch or attend meeting tonight

Also on my wish list but not likely for tonight: Inbox clean-up, weekly update, monthly report, file expenses, re-book missed appts from last week (gyn, chiro, LMT, haircut), thank-you's and follow-up notes to everyone I met last week.

Adding these to-do's so I don';t forget them this week: studio time for fiscal, repo DVD, ship DVD, clear budget (Kim promise).

Hugs to all who want them.  It's good to be back.

I am in a good space today, but am also aware that I have a lot of large tasks in front of me this week, namely to help my son renovate his bedroom. This heeds to happen quickly or else it will leave chaos for my mother (it is in her apartment) and lots of items are out of place. In order to make this work it will take concerted effort on my part to get him up and running so that things actually do get done. He is a budding procrastinator (actually, he takes after me entirely too much, so budding is probably understating things...) So far I am up, dog is walked, meds are taken and I am dressed. There are dishes to wash, the dining room looks messy and I would like to schedule a charity pickup for things my kids have outgrown.
doing that now. then hauling A out of bed....

asking for help to do the next right thing

1. go to the gym at around 2 pm

2.  clean house

3. put the dishwasher on

5. study trading

6. send a letter to C

7. make  lunch , have it before going to the gym

6. have a talk with Bill. 

7. if C calls do NOT pick the phone.

MITs:
*Code for pathway retrieval
*Work on pathway retrieval
*Read up on meiotic blocks (working on this now)
*Get stuff out of EFs lab

Other tasks:
*Buy backup hard drive
*Read 1 paper on RA
*Lit search on 1 pathway
*Read about RA in elong
*Take out trash

Breaks:
square dance class, maybe get dinner w/ classmates.

I'm going to start by finishing code for retrieving pathways. Then, I'll read up on meiotic blocks

Update 2:30--I finished code for pathway retrieval. Then, my wrists were bothering me, so I read article about RA (a task I could do w/out using computer). Now I'm going to work on pathway retrieval until 4, then I'll get my stuff out of EF's lab, then I'll research meiotic blocks for a bit. For pathway retrieval, here's a breakdown of the first few steps:
->Get overviews of 4 pathways
->Get KEGG pathway info
->Get NCI pathway info

Back when those are done.

Update 6--worked on pathway retrieval, started working on meiotic blocks lit. search, but now I'm feeling totally fried and unable to think :P I'll going to go get my stuff out of EF's lab, then I'll come back and work some more on pathway retrieval (since that's fairly mindless) 

lunch

cut fabric

iron

cleaner´s

have pants tailored

bakery

groceries

taxes

garden

mail to F.S.

Hoping for a good day tomorrow. Will also send letter of reference.

Thanks for letting me share!

Please do not leave advice.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

If I hold out until Monday morning, then I'll have 25 days of sobriety from various sites and the saynow.com fan lines.

This whole affair has been as easy as pushing a knitting needle eye-first through a woolen garment.  So just in case you think it's easy, I am in withdrawal, but I've found other means to procrastinate.  Another thing: I discovered an email today, which I did not expect from a musician that I used to be a fanatic of.  I definitely felt a little high after that.  Even though I did not explicitly do a bottomline, I just feel weird about it, b/c I'm into him, but there is no chance of anything happening, because he was as professional as can be.  Well--as professional as a personal, two-paragraph email about his current whereabouts and goings-on can be.

Plus, I don't even know him.  I felt sort of scandalous, like I was activating my love addiction, but again, I didn't actually *do* a bottomline.  I was just receiving an email. And...I did reply.  I don't know...  My sponsor had said to take things slowly, and that starting to date again is fine, so I am taking things slowly.  And I resisted saying anything self-deprecating.  Which is something I need to do a lot of--- resisting any self-deprecation.   Oh well, I know it's not the priority, but I did kind of feel frenzied after that.  Cuz who knows? But I need to stop this if it means that I'm just exchanging emails.  oh well, it was only three emails between us thus far, and he prolly won't reply, so I don'thave to worry about interminable back and forth.  I prefer to meet people as soon as possible.

Lately, I've been gaining a newfound sense of motivation for doing things that I don't altogether want to do, by identifying activities a rational or irrational.  It is helping me to decipher things as "rational."  It makes me want to do them, even if I'm not in the mood to do them, b/c I think to myself: if I don't do this, then X will happen.   If I do this then Y will happen and I want Y. It helps a little---long term or consequential thinking, rather.