Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Thursday 28 May 2009

 

From: Mary Oliver's poem   The summer Day

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

CI DO It Now

dng rm flrs lvg rm

leaf

br upst

shwr my

ktchn

Agnus 3:50pm

Not the sort of check-in time I would normally recommend for PA recovery!  I want to say that late is better than not at all, but I realize I've lived my life that way and it's not who I want to be anymore.  So instead of making a late MITs list and beating myself up for having a disorder I didn't ask for, I will just report accomplishments, thank my HP and move along a moment at a time.

This morning I did a lot of housework, pet care and self-care then a long-overdue physical therapy appt., sponsor call, made/ate an exceptionally healthy lunch for J and me, made phone calls and managed emails to resolve some work issues.

Now I need to resolve a forms issue for a work project, and microburst a beginning to a very scary report I need to complete today. I'll be in chat. Take care, everyone!

GeorgeSmiley 2:30 PM

 A completely aimless day.

 Proofed a story for one editor, another small task for another client, but otherwise I've been just completely unfocused. Could it be the new cable installation?

Not that I've been watching tv all morning, but I have been drifting around reading about the features, etc.

Someone is supposed to call me any minute for a phone appt.

And I'm supposed to update another project. I can work on that right now.

 

 

 

The Hero's Code:

Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.

Thursday's e

I haven't been in for a couple of days: yesterday I spent the day sleeping due to antihistamines and a sinus issue that has been haunting me for a couple of weeks. I was able to resolve the health insurance issue on Tuesday, which felt good (thanks HP, believe me, it wasn't me who got me to up and drive to Revere to deal with them!) Now I am working away consistently on tax issues, which I would like to submit today or tomorrow. I am doing a better job lately of sticking with things until I can resolve them, so I am feeling better about that, but I am anticipating some runins with my spouse on some of these issues which brings up anxiety for me.

I am stopping and reciting the Third Step Prayer:

God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thy will. Relieve me from the burden of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy way of life. May I do Thy Will always.

I sometimes feel conspicuous for working my spiritual program in print here, but I recognize that doing so really works to get me out of my way and do the next right thing.

Peace.

asking for help to do the next right thing

byGodsGrace todays CI

Wow chickadee - thanks for posting the poem - beautiful and inspiring! I will be thinking more about it throughout my day!

 Slowly getting back to normal here - today all outside appointments so I won't be here much again - but in spirit i will be!  I wish I didn't feel so guilty for a day or 2 of less work than usual - it was so needed - progress not perfection!

ByGodsGrace todays CIWord and prayer for the day: Psalm 37:4-5 (amplified)

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. 5Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass.”

My to do list: 

dishes, clean , lunch mtg, store, Dd st 3:30-6, call R

pay bills, Catch up on email, return calls, plan pending deadlines/supply orders

re:don't read

I didn't read it, I swear!  lol  

Hang in there, Constance, you've done well on exams before even though you were really worried about them.  Do the best you can, and remember it's never too late to be what you want to be.   You said your competitors don't have families, well you chose to have a family first and then do your schooling, nothing wrong with that!  

Jo  

Soon you will harvest what you are planting today - Steve Pavlina

Thanks Journey!

And thanks for your inspireing quote!

Constance 

-------------------------------------

"if i feel guilty about my procrastination, i will get LESS done, if i dont feel guilty, i will get MORE done." - Clement

 

babarino ci

Good morning! Still have items left from yesterday.will make list when I get to work.

kromer 8:35 CI

I'm feeling like I'm drifting today...having trouble getting started.

Going to set an achievable list of MITs for the day

MITs:
*Bg reading plan for DP's project
*Clustering analysis for MC's project (started) (working on this now)
*Run CLR on neural compendium (started)
*Quiet time/prayer (did some of this in the morning, will have more in the evening)
*Order backup hard-drive+new cell phone charger
*Laundry

Other tasks
*grocery shopping
*1 hr reading from HTT
*Slide on CLR results
*1 hr organizing code

Breaks:
*Lunch w/ labmates
*Maybe star trek or contra

Right now, I'm going to have a quick prayer time, then head to lab, start CLR running on neural compendium, and start clustering analysis for MC's project. 

Update 9:30--had quick prayer time, in lab, now working on getting CLR running on neural compendium (heading to chatbox now) 

Update 3--did a little work on clustering analysis, had lunch with labmates, got CLR running (but need to check on it occasionally), made background reading plan. I'm having a bit of a hard time focusing today (too many surfing breaks!), but at least I'm making some progress. Right now, I'm going to check on CLR. Then, I'm going to do some work on MC's project. Here are the next steps I can take:
1)Choose relevant comparison samples from 3 dataset
2)Pre-process those samples (code for this is running)
3)Identify up- and down-regulated genes that could be potentially used for clustering (working on this now)
4)Print SAMBA paper
5)Write up summary of GO and KEGG analysis of MC's dataset
Will work on this in the chatbox now.

kromer 8:00 CI

oh gee, focus today is not nearly as good as I would like...but I can still get some stuff done tonight.

What feels manageable to me tonight (won't quite get my through all my MITs, but will come close):

*Check that CLR has finished running
*Laundry
*Grocery shopping

*Install "expander" clustering package and figure out how it works/what input format it requires
*Order backup hard-drive
*Evening prayer
*Call AG as a break

Right now, going to install expander, make a grocery list and then call AG.  

kromer 11:50 CO

Didn't quite get through everything...need to work on my focus, and also on more realistic lists! Oh well, I made some progress, and tomorrow is another day.

Just a bunch of self-pity, don't read!

Time till final exam becomes an issue - again. And I'm thankful for that. This time I wanted to start early with my study plan, work on all my study topics with enough time to revise and recapitulate. Hasn't happened. I procrastinated studying by looking for a job I won't get without a degree. I found a job, though, that I can work without a grad school degree - pay is ridiculous, would barely pay my rent ... It took me a tremendous amount of time to get this job and apply for it in the first place - and I did it all because I'm certain that I'll fail my final, final exam ... I'm so freaking afraid of this (oral) exam that I can't study properly, even if I hold those books right in front of my eyes, I can hardly focus ...

I'm 35 and I feel like I'm the biggest loser on this planet. Never had a real job (Only part time jobs, some student-jobs, but now I'm too old to get a real shot at a job in the industry I've always wanted to be in. Gee, my competitors are ten years younger. and don't have a family. I feel like a complete failure. How can I ever justify my years of procrastination in my cv? They sum up to at least 6 ...

Oh f***, and life is soooo short ... I'm half way through it and I havn't even lived yet, all I did was preparing to start a life, and once I'll be ready to start my life in a few weeks I'll be too old, too old for anything ...

Sorry for this depressing sh***

Please don't waste your time by answering, don't feel sorry for me, I'm just drowning in self-pity, again ...

 

Something positive that made me cry from self-awareness, has been posted a few times on this website I guess:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1WC6hNTONg

 

Constance 

-------------------------------------

"if i feel guilty about my procrastination, i will get LESS done, if i dont feel guilty, i will get MORE done." - Clement

 

chick checks in

errand

dishwash catch up

working on l

thank you notes

garden

Yesterday I became aware that even people i think of as very effective and productive feel demand resistance, vent about it, sometimes act on their resistance, but it seems that these people choose when to respond that way and when to not, so they're not actually being impulsive or ruled by the impulse.