Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Wednesday May 20, 2009

Agnus 9pm, 12:45am

Been working since 7:30 this morning and just settling in for the night - tired!  MITs:

  • Play for 1 hour (shopping, nails?  if too late, then fitness and whirlpool) walked around for about an hour checking out the scenery
  • Spend 30 minutes finalizing tomorrow; printing?? I am into the second hour of this and still not satisfied. God please help me surrender perfectionism. "Done" will be better than perfect; I really need some sleep. I will have to get the printing done in the morning; there's a kinko's next door.
  • 30 minutes clearing inbox DONE
  • Bed by 11:30 Missed by a mile...

I am going to post my plan for the morning on Thursday's forum because I'm getting to bed so late that I'm at risk of forgetting something important.

Recycler CI 8:45pm EST

Hi Pro Buddies!

Late-day CI here!

This morning I walked to gym, did additional cardio, ab exercises & stretching.

At work, did most crucial projects in morning, because I knew I would be distracted in afternoon. Lunch with a friend. After work, walked home.

Have a great night, everyone! :)


Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)




Check sites and send applications


Household errands.



GeorgeSmiley 10:25 AM; UPDATE 5:40 PM

A little slower getting started today. Still in "administrative" mode for now.

Had a long and necessary conversation w/ an editor that resolved some disputes we were "fighting" about in email yesterday. Glad that's fixed. The conflict kept me awake for hours last night I was so p***** off.

MIT#1: New Project, T-B. Write Press Release for it.

MIT#2: Project W-5.

MIT#3: Project K-3-start


Ended up working mostly on MIT#2, and a little on Project E (not on the list) and Project P-7 (ditto). WIll need to focus on All 3 MITs above tomorrow.


The Hero's Code:

Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.

Journey 8:40

Good morning!  I'm early today to prepare for a 9 am meeting.  I'll do my official checkin after the meeting.

Have an enjoyable and productive day everyone! 


Soon you will harvest what you are planting today - Steve Pavlina

Journey 1:20

Keyed up from this morning's meeting and a Toastmaster's thing at lunch.  Trying to settle down to get back to Tedious Task.   I'll give myself 10 more minutes to settle down.   Setting timer.  


Soon you will harvest what you are planting today - Steve Pavlina

kromer 8:20 CI

Scheduled today:
*Mtg w/ postdoc candidate 10am
*Lab mtg 12pm
*Funeral 5pm

*Quiet/prayer time
*Try to get SAM working
*Finish GEO downloads/bulk processing
*Email LM and BH

*Bg reading plan for DP's project

Other tasks:
*2 hrs work on MC's project
*Read about q values
*Read about B+H FDR.

RIght now, I'm going to have quiet time, then work on GEO downloads/bulk processing, then head to postdoc mtg

Update 11:15--did some work on GEO downloads, went to postdoc mtg.

I'm going to spend the next 45 min or so getting some more GEO downloads going, then I'm going to go to lab mtg, then I'll read up on how I have to pre-process data for CLR. 

chick CI

I need to stay on track and not go into burn-out binge. Step by step.

Now: l

now O



Accountability is the only thing that works, and I'm an addict, I cannot be accountable to myself. I don't know about you people, but IIIIIIIII....need a sponsor.  I need someone to be accountable to.  That is the ONLY thing that has helped me to achieve sobriety in my other programs.  I had to report to someone.  And reporting here is not going to cut it, because there are enough people that my experiences could fall by the wayside.  No one is committed to making sure that I follow through with my recovery, so it would help if I had someone in particular to check in with each day.  First, I'd like to have a talk with this sponsor or co-sponsor person and tell him or her about what I have done, how I have spent my time.  I want to list things that I need to do for him or her.  And Ineed to develop a plan for my recovery.  Some bottom lines.  ETC. And then I need to check in with the person, cuz this is the ONLY way tha I can heal. 

I am sick of being this way.  I am sick of this disease.  But I cannot even muster the courage, so much as the ability to make myself do what I feel in my heart I need to do.  If you got that personal compulsion or a compulsion from a sea of stares, than good for you.  But that's not me.  I need to be accountable to someone particular (or even two people specifically). Posting to the boards doesn't help me to get things done, and I don't really find that I am accomplishing things by just using the chan.  I do want to recover, but I'm like the alcoholic in the AA big book, who despite all benign intentions, keeps walking into traffic, regardless of how injured it has made me.  When I procrastinate I run.  And I don't want to do anything, so I need personal, one on one, communication with someone in program.  I know I need this, and I'm asking for help.



Not glorifying my addiction

I also think I benefit from emailing or privately messaging or calling someone, rather than posting a free for all rundown on all I did in a day.  It just feels too public and too self-shaming.  I benefit best when i can connect with people one-on-one.  Whereas, a board or a forum feels far too much like an invitation for people who may not be safe or compelling to my overall endeavor.

 In addition, I feel that when *I* post here, I am glorifying my addiction.  And the only way that I cannot do that is when I'm not peforming, and I'm at least just talking to someone else, so that my addiction is not a performance.

And why cannot I just "Not glorify my addiction," and just "Do whatever it is that I am procrastinating doing" ?  Because I'm a procrastinator.  I joined this program, because I have a problem.  I do not need a chan or a checkin board in the way someone needs a Franklin Covey book.  Organizational tools, even social ones are of no use to me as a procrastinator.  I've been in this program since mid December  and I am not the person I'd like to be.

I'm not even comfortable with myself.  I don't even brush my teeth at night, nor floss, nor take regular showers.  I don't get schoolwork done.  I'm not even in school.  I have sabotaged my entire process because of my fear.    I am dying.  I am willing to try something DIFFERENT.  I know some people who actually have some excellent recovery, who I see accomplishing things, going about conquering procrastination.  I know people who have what I want in this program, and I'd like to  be accountable to someone, because I cannot be accountable to myself.  Maybe someday when I have gotten recovery through esteemable acts, I will have that accountability to myself.  I have tried working this program, by myself and it's just not good enough.  And I know it.  I know I cannot do this alone.  I know I am powerless.


I have had varied success with sponsorship in my various programs depending on the nature of my problem. I am very demand resistant, so finding a good fit is extremely important to me, otherwise I act out against my sponsor. I tend to make them my higher power and then get resentful, when in fact the person is just another someone struggling with the same stuff I am. I have had sponsors in OA where I have to commit my food to someone and it totally backfired for me because of this issue. I find having a sponsor in AA is wonderful, because that person guides me along, verifies my experience and makes suggestions, gives me homework/habits to begin using. I find that the more that I work the steps, the longer that I am sober, the more manageable life is getting, so putting down alcohol has been an enormous boon in terms of learning how to manage things.

I am not sure that I am in a stable enough place to sponsor someone, or even if it would be a good fit, but I do like the idea of hooking up with someone on a regular basis in the chatbox to work alongside them in a sponsory sort of way.

asking for help to do the next right thing

what makes a good sponsor

Fudo_shin, reading your post got me thinking about sponsorship and accountability. Although for now board posting is doing it for me, I don't know that will continue.

Isn't that the problem with trying to break unwanted behaviour - we try to do better but everytime we fail (to meet OUR expectations) its more evidence that we don't have it within ourselves to beat this thing completely (which may well be true).

I've tried being accountable to others, mostly people that I am close too or that I actually am accountable too. Problem is that I was too ashamed to give them the full story and they became unavailable over time which left me back at square one.

So what makes a good sponsor? - someone that is sympathetic, is committed to truely help you but that you don't otherwise have a relationship with (unless you really can share everything). But most importantly (for any technique), expect that it will help alot but don't expect it to be the 'perfect' cure. That's my thoughts anyway.

Finally - I hope that you can find a sponsor quickly and that with them you can feel a little less powerless. PS - teeth brushing and showering are also a problem with me but one thing at a time.

Sponsor or buddy? I have

Sponsor or buddy?

I have read thse contributions with great interest.  I feel that although many of us may benefit from having a sponsor, for some it would be totally wrong since as 'e' said one may act out against the sponsor, I for one certainly would if the sponsor became too pushy.  Therefore, for some of us the solution might be to have a buddy with whom we could deal at eye level.

If privacy was guaranteed one might open up more than one would in the forum as far as sensitiive matters of which one is ashamed are concerned and if two procrastinators were able to help each other no feeling of dependency would result and they would in time hopefully be ready to share their experiences with the whole community. 


If you can't move the mountain, move a few stones.

Deej-- nice response

 I don't have any experience with "sponsorship" but I think your point about shame and why it may be counter-productive to enlist someone who has another relationship with you (family member, close friend, boss) is spot-on.  As is your reminder that no one thing will be the perfect cure.

The Hero's Code:

Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.

Wow- it's a miracle

Thank you Shiny for everything you wrote. It is exactly what I would have liked to have written the exact same comments and was not sure if anyone else felt the way I do.

I have stayed off the PA check in site for awhile and it must have been God's grace that I looked today.

I heard "Knowledge is learning WHAT to do" and Practise is "Learning how to do it."(that works for me)

I need to go to the next level to progress in this program or this will be just another Franlin Covey site (of which I am a member). I would be willing to co-sponsor. I too am in other 12 step programs, I never worked those programs alone and doing this one alone is not working.

My e-mail adress in on my profile if you think would want to contact me or if you would like to contact you let me know.

Thank you, Vic

I understand what you're saying

fudo_shin everything you're saying makes sense to me. I don't feel the same need but I see how real it is in your context.

I'm not in a position to be a sponsor so I won't volunteer that. But I will encourage you in your search for one. 

Best of luck.



The Hero's Code:

Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.

nice response, GS


Nice response, George Smiley!

Ditto, here!

Good luck, fudo_shin!



Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

ByGodsGrace todays CI

Hi Everyone!  Need to stay up to work, but I am really tired and will just have to catch up over the next 2 days, grateful for computer issue being resolved. Reminding myself for today I can choose not to dwell on areas I could have done better and instead focus on God and all the ways he has already made me better - eyes off of my inability and focus on His ability

My Word and prayer for the day: Psalm 18:32 

“It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.”

My to do list: 

Get some sleep!

Read Bible/pray, prek4 registration, mail ltr, pp from s, call2meet jobA for delivery, call 2 resched w mtg

Job2 call ups for pickup, print, cut layouts, ribbon/wrap confirm (got a good start, 1/3 done)

overestimated time in my day - praying to do better with that