Wrestler says hi !
Isabo, your Goethe quote about "this day" speaks to me about the value of time. Of the many valuable things, time and personal relationship seem most precious to me. I experience a lot of personal grief and anxiety, looking back over wasted time and lost opportunity. Sailed through the "feeling overwhelmed" stage a long time ago. Since then I've been drifting in fog, bobbing about on the ocean of opportunity. Chronically unable to connect with my own life. Can't find the socket to plug my creative energy in to, something to light fire under my behind and get me moving. That's just the way it is. Lately I've been hit hard by the discovery that yes, in actual fact, it is possible to waste your entire life away doing nothing. I don't say I'm worthless. Au contraire, I am rich in unrealised potential. But the burden of many decades of inaction is crushing. For one thing, the financial cost of procrastination is huge. Add up all those overdue library fines, uncashed cheques, unclaimed benefits, missed deadlines, careless contracts. The list is endless. If I was not such a procrastinator, I would be financially quite comfortable now. Instead of looking forward to an uncomfortable retirement. The personal cost of procrastination is tragic. Add up all those lost moments with offspring, late picking up from day care, late getting ready to go out, last-minute planning of annual vacations, always "busy" finishing up (ie. starting) some insignificant task. Time is money. Time is opportunity. Time is relationship. Wish I had more time to talk with you now, but it's 2pm and I have to make a start on Sunday soon !!! (Later) Doing things "on time" is often too late actually. To get something finished, you have to start a lot EARLIER than you think. Because the unexpected serendipitious interruption frequently happens. And if it's something nice, you don't want to say "go away, I'm not ready for you now because I haven't started this insignificant but critical thing yet...". You know, insignificant things like that late tax return, kitchen floor washing, pension application, cobweb cleanup, clothes mending, shower...
Sometimes I think it's all just a trick. Procrastination is not really what stops me. It's a symptom of something else. It's just a feeling, measuring the distance between what I "wish" I did and what I actually do. Relax. Fogedabadit... Other times for a brief instant I see this grand adventure. Procrastination! :bling! Wonderful. As someone said here, they have black holes to explore... now what could be more exciting than that? Voyaging to outer space. Uncharted waters. Something to feel good about. Hmmmm. I'm only 2 hours behind on the schedule I set myself 3 hours ago. (Sunday went already. Today is Monday.) The day is not entirely wasted YET. Let's pull out those old Pink Floyd albums to set the mood, and get to work !
I picked this name because time and me, we wrestle.
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glad you found us. The looking back guilt is something i feel. but i also am convinced that it only hurts my future. Feeling guilty about the past prevents those *future* times w/ offspring or effective working periods.
So i just turn to my Higher Power (HP) and say, "you take the past!" Then i go on to the future with a clean slate.
Well, ideally. In reality i still struggle almost daily to separate from my past.
Most people here find recovery from compulsive procrastination a day-by-day, hour-by-hour, often minute-by-minute thing. I hope you join us in overcoming this problem we all share. The ppl here encourage each other. And they're non judgmental, which really helps me to compartmentalize the guilt and give it up.
the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb