Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.
CL mantra - day 10
this day went better. I procrastinated for hours, but didnt feel the guilt. that's a bit weird, have to think about that one.
but then i got to working about 1/2 way thru the day, and that went well.
Til the late afternoon, when i suddenly got stressed and had to employ my mantra once again. I thot perhaps i wasn't going to need it for the first day, but i did:
"in the uncomfortable place, look for god, not an exit."
(i am such a perfectionist that i realize if i swap the order of place and god in how i write it, then exit is compared to place, so i'm saying "dont look for god in an exit" which is just silly. this doesnt matter at all, of course, but i kno some of u will relate)
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
Baby steps
Thank you everyone for being on this site. I actually did something with my son's 5 minute timer. Reading the tools helped and knowing I am not alone.
at 9 pm, I will do some more 5 minutes and then go to bed early. My best time is in the morning and now that I have some hope, I want to get some rest.
I am so "wasted" from procrastinating all day, but it was worth it because in my procratination I found this site.
First step
March 16, 09
Instead of trying to find yet one more "clutter buddy" from CLA this is my first step here. I have my desk clear and will start my paperwork for 5 minutes. 7:13pmEST
Hello vic, good you found
Hello vic,
good you found this site! Please keep coming back!
btw., have you heard about www.flylady.net ? Helped me so much to handle/get rid of clutter and do some 5-min-housework chores!
Constance
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"if i feel guilty about my procrastination, i will get LESS done, if i dont feel guilty, i will get MORE done." - Clement
Keep coming back
Thank you,
Yes,I have found the key to my progress is consistency. If all I can do is "keep coming back", that is really good.
I did find the fly lady site years ago and it did help. Lately I was using Clutterer's anonymous and it helped, If anyone is interested, they have phone meetings 8pmEST every nite and they are great.
I could not get the connection I needed for my procrastination and my HP led me to this site "by accident" last nite after I too lied to my husband about giving our accountant the tax info I have- he called and I was "found out" I don't have to tell you the rest .........
I put the dishes in the dishwasher and kitchen last nite before I went to bed and that is a routine I take for granted now- I need to "keep it green" and be grateful for the progress - I would have been thrilled for that and now, like many other 12 step issues, forget my gratatude.
I am not consistent with what I call "the basics" which is read 2 meditaiton books and do some journaling/planning.When I do- it helps, I can't seem to get it in, it does not seem important enough- always doing something else 1st..... which, I guess starts off my procrastination of the day.
The timer helped. Not that I have any concept tof time- It started goining the other way and I was over 7 minues before I saw it or else I forget to start it- but it is there and I could touch it- that is all I have to do is touch it.
Today, I have to do the tax stuff- finish it. I started yesterday- wasn't so bad when I started. My husband leaves for work in 45 minutes and I don't have to feel his disapproval/disgust added to my own shame.
I will start when he leaves and set the timer for 5 minute intervals. I will not get on the computer until noon. I can see myself using this as a procratination.
I like the tools, plan and visualize. I don't understand this procratination thing- but I am so relieved that I am not alone.
Happy ST. Patrick's day-
Constance is screwed up ...
Hi pro-buddies,
please don't read this if you don't want to get dragged down ...
I'm very unhappy with myself.
This is the third time during my 4 final Masters-exams that I am confronted with my unability to plan my study load and follow through. Tomorrow is an oral exam I've postponed twice (I can because I have a kid, other students can't postpone, lucky them ...) - I've actually postponed it since early 2007 ...
I just can't ask my professor for another postponement - he would probably kick me off his examinee list, and I just can't start all over with a totally new professor.
So, what I am going to do tomorrow is go to the exam and ask the commission before they want to start to just let me flunk - then I'll be able to write an application to the university admin to let me take a second attempt exam (I've used up the first attempt when I hadn't studied for my 5-hour final essay test. I took the essay test again 6 months later and passed (got a 1.3 which is a A-, yay!). Now I've got one more try left, and after that I JUST HAVE TO TAKE THE REMAINING 2 EXAMS - no more excuses - or - not get any degree. Simple as that. Normal students just take their 4 exams and pass - it will take me 6 tries to pass those 4 examsand about 10 times as much time ...
One reason for all this ... oh, blahdiblah ... whatever
I just can't stand myself anymore. If it wasn't for my family I would just leave the country - or jump out of the window (kidding). Right now I just want to make a run (old habit, before I became a Mum I literally ran from exams. I would study and study really well and then believe that it wasn't enough and not go to the exam). My new habit, since I have to take more responsibility for my life, is to NOT study enough and then GO to the exam and face it on time but by not being well prepared making sure that I fail. Gee, I'm soooo screwed up!
I really need to get a shrink.
"If you fail to plan you plan to fail" - mean motto but keeps me going these days ...
Progress not perfection
Hi Constance,
Boy do I know that feeling of self loathing. I have found that to "know" why I do what I do, doesn't make me stop- or in this group I should say it doesn't make me START (ha, ha-usually I am trying to stop), it only mAKES ME TRY HARDER TO GET THE CONTROL i CAN'T GET.
Didn't the all time greatest shrink of the time tell Bill W he was hopeless and only a spiritual experience could save him?
I believe that-
From my computer, it looks like you have made some progress. You are not where you want to be but you are not running, you are facing the pain and there is progress.
God will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.
Thank you, vic!
Thank you for telling me I've made some progress by facing my fears and not running from them (fmpov I've only gotten worse ...)
This morning I lied to my husband. I told him I was going to take the exam today, but instead I'll just go there to apologize for making them give me 3(!) appointments to take the exam. Today I'm going to ask them for a 4th appointment. Isn't that ridiculous?"In return" I am going to flunk this one (I actually could have asked for another postponement). Next time there won't be any postponing or flunking (thank goodness university regulations won't let me). It is going to be all or nothing the next time.
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"if i feel guilty about my procrastination, i will get LESS done, if i dont feel guilty, i will get MORE done." - Clement
Hi Constance, it sounds
Hi Constance,
it sounds very stressful now. I'll be wishing you courage now and tomorrow.
What clem said about guilt really rings true for me--I look for a moment of self-acceptance, forgiveness, grace, --call it what you will-- to be able to move from avoidance to a small step. (That's why I'm so drawn to Isabo's 'I am enough').
Is it possible that you know more than you think? And that the questioning maybe won't be so much to elicit facts and data as to get you to engage in debate and conversation?
Chickadee, thank you
Thank you for that lovely rainbow. Your last two sentences made me almost cry ... no, I don't know enough, because this time I made sure not to study enough - failure is my goal. Goodness, I'm so twisted, it almost makes me laugh again to read what I've just written ...
Step one: Do not take myself too seriously. World won't stop turning because of my exam. Professor will just be having an average day, probably thinking about his lunch during our talk as exam is at 11am.
Step two: take a deep breath
Constance
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"if i feel guilty about my procrastination, i will get LESS done, if i dont feel guilty, i will get MORE done." - Clement
dear constance
i'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. I'm waiting for my compu right now, so i'll be brief.
I was just writing to dizzle here http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1999 that one change for me in the past year (4 days to go) is that i have learned to be less hard on myself. It has really helped me, because there's this cycle:
procrastinate, get behind, feel guilty, procrastinate more, get more behind, feel more guilty...
so now i have for the most part transformed this into:
procrastinate, get behind, stop
well that's not completely accurate, it's more like
procrastinate, get behind, feel the guilt automatically rising, and combat it with posting here, self talk, prayer, songs, etc
but usually i can get the cycle to stop there.
My higher power helps me with this, because with HP i can believe that i am valuable in some eternal sense even if i procrastinate. That has been a tuf one to accept.
But there is this simple, unassailable logic that i force myself to revisit time and time again:
if i feel guilty about my procrastination, i will get LESS done, if i dont feel guilty, i will get MORE done.
No matter how backwards this feels to me, i can't deny it logically.
Note that while my situation is maybe not as bad as yours, last week was a bad week for me. But i got myself to work in the afternoons, and i was still available to my family, because that's more important that work, all because i did not let the cycle continue, whereas in the past i would have gotten less done, gotten less sleep, and worked (or tried to) when i should have been spending time w/ my family.
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
Thank you so much Clement,
I wouldn't know what to do without you guys. I have lovely friends and a lovely husband but they just don't/can't understand. You do. Thank you so much!
Clement, on of your insights is going to be my mantra before I go to sleep:
"if i feel guilty about my procrastination, i will get LESS done, if i dont feel guilty, i will get MORE done." I'll actually put it in my signature!
"if i feel guilty about my procrastination, i will get LESS done, if i dont feel guilty, i will get MORE done." - Clement
studying-perspective
Hi Constance,
Kudos for sharing where you are at. Where there is sharing there is hope.
:
I remember sitting on the floor and crying because I thought I hadn't prepared enough for an exam. I was just in a total state of panic, felt like I hadn't studied enough. We were told we should study one hour for every hour we were in class. I probably did 1/10 of that amount of studying. ( if that I don't know.) It turned out that I did better on okay. The pressure I felt from the finals caused me to lose perspective and made me feel like I didn't know anything. Babarino
Thank you, Barbarino
I feel like I know nothing. I've been studying for months and months - er , no, actually I've been watching TV-shows, but anyways, my ability to memorize facts has decreased proportionally to my increasing age (35 now, still don't have a degree and no real job ...).
My hubby just told me that if I keep telling my brain that it knows nothing, it won't know a thing. The other way round, he just said that there are people who knew nothing of playing chess and just by telling their subconscious minds that they were chess prodigies they really got there - to play world-class chess. Well, but how do I stop telling myself that I know nothing and start telling myself that I'm a good student? Anyone? It's just not that simple ... I should use some mantra like "I'm a good student. All the right answers will come to me during the exam, etc."
"If you fail to plan you plan to fail" - mean motto but keeps me going these days ...
Recycler CI 4:15pm EST
Hi Pro Buddies!
It's getting close to the end of the workday here. I've goteen some things accomplished, and need to update my project list for tomorrow.
This morning I went to the gym, did an abbreviated routine, and took a shower. At work I had a meeting, got some more projects, and started working on those. At lunch, after eating I didn't have what I needed to do a personal project, so took a break instead. Worked on some website stuff in afternoon. Next: call to see if my repaired eyeglasses are available.
After work I need to return a library book, and pick up the eyeglasses if they are available. Tonight: go to my 12-step group and meet with my sponsor afterward. I hope my sponsor will be there!!!
Have a great night, everyone! :)
Recycler
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
kromer 2 CI
This morning, I finished studying for my stats midterm and took the test (I think it went pretty well, though we'll see), came back to campus, had lunch, took a 30 min break.
Now, a plan for the rest of the day:
Scheduled:
Student panel 4-5, dinner w/ friend 6:30-7:30 (probably)MITs:
*Clean room, Clean 100 emails out of inbox
*
Call AG and SD, talk to WG*Summarize MoD results so far (mostly done)
*Plan for finishing up DP's project!
*Get Arava data and correlate w/ UTR length and G-richness of UTR.
Other tasks:
*Plan for finishing taxes
*Look for good txn paper
Right now, I'm in WG's lab: I'm going to work for the next couple hours on summarizing MoD results so far and getting Arava data (and I'll also talk to WG). After student panel, I'll call AG and SD and work on cleaning out my inbox and organizing papers. Then, I'll head to dinner w/ friend.
kromer 5:45 CI
I'm creeping along today (at least I'm making a little progress, but...)
I went to student panel, worked on summarizing results, and made some phone calls I need to make. Now I'm going to finish summarizing results and clean out inbox
ByGodsGrace todays CI
Word and prayer for the day: Colossians 1:10-12 (the message)
“As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.”
God I am so grateful for your grace and mercy and patience as I learn and grow more everyday in You…
Music: Didn't listen today, realize it is very important for me, need to do better
My to do list: MIT… lists/planning,
fix laptopdd schoolRead Bible/PrayDaily CIfix laptop issuesplanning for week, month, 3 months
ck bank acct
photo portfolio, recent jobs
dd school 2:30p- sick, had to pick up earlycomplete, drop off papers to F office
ck mail
respond to emails as neededToday has easily been my worst day since joining here. Not so much because of what i did or didn't do, which i didn't do much that i planned to, but because in my heart I know I avoided things out of fear and anxiety and didn't restart when I could have. I don't think its healthy to be legalistic about things, I must or must not do this or this everyday - but to judge my own heart in how I do things. I may have a day where I actually accomplish less, but learn or grow or face more. I know today was partly being tired and not 100% physically, but mostly fear. Fear because I dont' have a crisis deadline to push me, only lists and plans that must be made and the whole idea of having to fix everything in my life was just overwhelming and seemed impossible. The key being my feeling that I had to fix it, when I know I can't, only God can and only if I surrender it to Him. I know all this but fell back into old pattern of not facing it.
Tomorrow is a new day, I will not give up, cant give up. I really appreciated reading other posts today and as always was encouraged and inspired by everyone's wisdom. Clements wise words about not feeling guily especially.
Today was just really hard, overwhelming... If I had somewhere I could run to and hide and stay I would. Funny, even as I say that, I KNOW God wants me to run to Him and I KNOW what He has done for me, does for me, and yet I am afraid I dont know what to do, that I cant overcome myself. Drugs and alcohol and bad relationships were things to conquer on the outside, hard but now all thats left to overcome is me - and that is the hardest. Weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning. I dont even feel like I am making sense and dont want to post this now, but I am going to anyway as part of recovery - to stop editing myself as much and share the good and the bad, confused and sad. Maybe someone else wont feel as bad if they read and see my crazy struggles. I feel like a total basket case at the moment ad feel bad posting this.
I just dont know how to start, how to make it managable - I am overwhelmed by all that I know is wrong in me and the knowledge that I have to relearn how I do things and relate to people and handle things - I am just having an emotional day I guess and not everyday can be a good one so I should just give myself a break. Up till now I have been facing the day not planning much ahead except a specific job schedule, so this is me facing it all - or coming to terms with need to face it - but the way I was thinking wont work or didn't so will pray and ask God to help me approach it differently tomorrow and help me make sense of it.
I am grateful for my faith, even on a bad day like today, I don't feel totally hopeless because I know God has a plan and will help me - I was totally hopeless before and that was a much harder place. I feel better just thinking of that and knowing I am not alone though I cant see how to fix it, He does and He will help me. I am thankful for forgiveness and new mercies every day and accept forgiveness instead of holding onto guilt which will only ead to another bad day.
off to a busy start already.
off to a busy start already. My one big thing is a seniors memo which I will probably be working on almost all day.
NOPE, I WAS BUSY WITH A WHOLE LOT OF OTHER THINGS ALL DAY. LORD.
Journey 10:30
Late to work this morning as I needed to stop by and check on mom and dad. Both are doing ok considering.
I have a quick conference call this morning, then getting coffee! First thing is to prepare for Toastmasters meeting at noon, should take about a half hour. See y'all in the chatbox!
Jo
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. - Buddha
9:10
Called in sick to work.stomach not well but will do a few things.
Mail letter and check to bank.
Research hb
I hope you feel better soon
Hi Babarino!
I hope you feel better soon! Take care of yourself!
Recycler
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
3:40pm check in Babarino
Thanks recycler:)
I got the taxes and part of the banking done. Left some stuff I need to finish banking at work. Will get that tomorrow. Finished research. Am going to relax and read book!
isabo ci 1035 am
Beautiful morning today, sun is shining brightly and there is no wind. Me and the kids will go to a park after lunch and burn some energy off. I have worked today, had breakfast, checked all usual sites and been outside to scoop poop. Know I will set my timer and work through my daily chores.
Nothing is worth more than this day - Goethe
GeorgeSmiley 7:20 AM; Update 6:15 PM
Thank you for the day-starter! I've been reading from the Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh for my morning spiritual time to set the day. I'm not a Buddhist myself, but I find much meaning and wisdom in that path.
Today's MITs:
#1: Phone interview, then rewrite, for Project W-MDONE#2: Catch up on several matters for Client C NO PROGRESS
#3: Spend some time focusing on Project E NOTHING
#4: Get started on Project W. DID THISSomething else I've done today:
Until recently I would try to set recurring time slots for tasks, eg. 90 minutes for writing, 90 minutes for calls, etc., and always at the same time every day.
I've deleted all those except ...
1) One hour a day in the middle of the day for all administrative cleaning up tasks. (There are several of these; each of them is time limited to 6, 12 or 18 minutes).
2) Other appointments that are externally driven (when I pick my son up from his bus, for instance)
Then I went through TODAY'S task list and assigned tasks to times, trying to set reasonable times for them to be accomplished and leaving part of the afternoon open for flexibility. Such as a half hour for the Project W-M phone call then an hour to rewrite the article.
We'll see how that goes.
So So. The hour mid-day was good. But at the end of the day I'd spent more time on administrative tasks and breaks than doing paid work. I need to figure out how to cut that back.
The Hero's Code:
Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
Sam 5:50 am
got up at 4:50 and have been tossing and thinking about many things. want to go to the gym but feel so undecided. have to do it now or later in the day.
1.
gym2. send letter to bank3. clean room
4. move bookshelf.
5.
clean the two boxes on the second landing.6. clothes.
7. update all logs.
8. pile all dvds in a box and put it in the closet on the top or bottom
9. find out about cosa's check
10. fill in Malatests security clearance
11.
sort and file papers on the desk and12. Post letter
13. drop cheque .
14.
FILL AND SEND THE APPLICATION FOR //ANALYST TODAY.Hope-Faith 3-16-09 5:16
Checking in for the am. Working on am routine. Very productive am. Getting children ready for school and then we are out the door. CI when I get to work.
CI 8:35 have arrived work.
hope-faith
Chick's monday monday
thank you isabo, what a beautiful and inspiring starter.
am:
task--count this as part of exercise not bother.
errandmtngs 1. 2. 3.set daily goals for household tasks to be done by w/e
Ah, another Monday
Ah, another Monday tomorrow, another week...day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. So many moments for choices.
I choose to use this week wisely, use my timer to accomplish my goals. My children have no school this week, therefore they will need some sort of schedule to be kept happy and contented. And I am not that schedule oriented! So I will use the timer for them, for us.
Lots of cleaning this week, no more than usual really. And I will get the taxes completed and called in.
The weather is changing, it is getting warmer and the snows are melting away. We will spend time outdoors as well. An we have a playdate for Tuesday morning, that will help break up the week too.
On to it :)
Nothing is worth more than this day - Goethe
So many moments for choices
isabo wrote: "Ah, another Monday tomorrow, another week...day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. So many moments for choices."
that's exactly how i feel :)
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb