Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
hello
Hello all. I just got onto this site today. I'm 39, single, and I live in the DC area. I've worked hard for many years in a career I love for many years, but I often do that at the expense of other things that should be more important to me, like keeping a clean home, making time for friends and family, developing relationships, and working to make the most out of my life. I've found over the past several years that I have more and more trouble doing those things for myself, and I'm worried about where this will lead me. I've even realized that at my job, which I have committed so much time and energy to, I've wasted an awful lot of time, and it has made me think sadly about what that has cost me.
I've been in therapy for many years for depression and social anxiety. I've made some good progress in how I feel and how I behave, but not so much in the concrete actions I have taken to make my life more satisfying and enjoyable. I'm very glad this site is here and I intend to use it. I'm open to any advice anyone has. Thanks.
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Welcome ML
ML said "I've worked hard for many years in a career I love for many years, but I often do that at the expense of other things that should be more important to me, like keeping a clean home, making time for friends and family, developing relationships, and working to make the most out of my life."
I hit this same point about 2 years ago when we had a change in admin at my place of work. The new admin did not value my dedication to my career. It was so hard at first because I was lost. All my time was centered around me given of my time to my career. My relationship with my family did not suffer but I become a 2 demsional person work and family. I am working towards adding a 3rd demsion back into my life. First by working towards recovery from my procrastination which this site has helped me soooooooo much. It has enhanced my life so much and I hope that you will find that as well.
Good luck to you.
hope-faith
welcome ml
It sounds like you're in a tuf spot. Many people have come here in such a spot. Many people here, including me, have looked back at their life choices (mostly the millions of little ones) with regret. Altho, i'm actively these days trying NOT to regret, rather look forward.
In your therapy, are you talking about your concrete actions? Just curious, this fellowship has helped many people with that area of life! Me included! I am very grateful and feel very fortunate to have found these people because i dont think i'd be doing as well as i am lately w/o them.
I've been starting to think something along the lines of: "it's the 2nd post that's most important" lol some people make one post and ever return. People who make a 2nd post seem to me much more likely to return regularly. If you're like me, and many here, it's the consistent followup with tasks that is the most elusive, and the most helpful, and specifically what this fellowship gives people the strength to do.
So, my biggest advice is probably: "come back". I find the "chatbox" the most helpful. The daily check-in thread is also where we hang out and work side by side at our daily tasks, and more broadly our recovery. Today's task is Tuesday 20 January 2009 and tomorrow's already there: Wednesday 21 January 2009.
So... DC. big day there today, huh? 2 million they said on the news. Amazing!
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fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb
procrastinating by studying procrastination: http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
Thanks clement. I enjoyed
Thanks clement. I enjoyed the inauguration from the warmth and safety of my home. I'm sure the actual number was closer to 3 million because a) most of the people who were at the mall could not get to the parade, so those people are not included in the estimate, and b) many other people came to town only to attend events held at offices, hotels, ballrooms, etc.
My therapy does discuss my actions but it is not consistent because it is a group and there is not usually follow-up on what I said I was planning to do the previous week. I've been learning to get away from the habit of saying "oh, I really should do X" or "I would like to do Y" since that pretty much has the effect of making me think that I'm doing something about my problem simply by talking about it.
I hope that was an okay second post :-) I will use the daily check-in thread, though I will start slow. Thanks again.
the 2nd post theory
so we can test the "2nd post theory" lol :)
I agree about talking about problems, rather than doing something about them. I also had the problem for most of my life of "starting to fix my problems" and then not following up, regardless of technique.
But i c ur point about the group and lack of accountability. That is what this fellowship does provide. One other thing i and others here find very difficult is posting after a failure. Ie, "i plan to do x" then posting "i surfed online instead." geesh, i can feel that get to me even now and i didnt even do it, i'm just writing about it. I guess i'm very sensitized to failure.
Glad to have you post-ING :)
i agree w/ chick, too. i am pretty sure i dont do enuf recreation, at least not w/o a guilty conscious about things i'm behind on.
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fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb
procrastinating by studying procrastination: http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
actions...
ml, your posts made me wonder if a 'positive actions for myself' might be a good topic for a thread, like the decluttering one. I know I, and I guess many other, procrastinators don't do enough real fun/recreation/for ourselves--delayed or late work stuff can just swallow initiative and fun. (The book The Now Habit helped me see this more clearly for myself.--Though now I've sworn off books--I just need myself and HP to help me DO the next right thing...)
Thanks for writing a bit about the inauguration too. Hope you'll keep posting and find solidarity and hope here.
welcome here ml. Posting
welcome here ml.
Posting is a big first step. I hope you'll find hope and solidarity here, explore all the boards and keep coming back.
For myself, many of the things you mention sound familiar and this is the first place I have found progress.