Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Sunday 4 January 2009
Sunday 4 January 2009
We must gather all our courage
Sail our ships out on the open sea
Cast away our fears
From "We may never pass this way again" -- Seals and Crofts
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Weekend in retrospect
This is kinda cheating, because I have had 2 days off in addition to the weekend and few Sunday obligations, but I got so much done. My sewing room and study are lovely and organized, the stairs leading up to them inviting, and they are now a place where I can work.
I didn't get two major things done this weekend, and it means one thing will have to be done in the morning before noon, but I am tired and going to bed soon. I think lack of sleep has as much to do with my ability to handle problems and conquer procrastination as does other things. Regular exercise outdoors helps me tons too, but it is raining outside.
Organizing my mail meant that I FEEL so much more in control, even though I didn't accomplish that much. I could feel that big brick procrastination wall start to crumble, and I actually enjoyed sorting out the mail and the feeling that it gave me.
I greatly underestimated the amount of time my cleaning and sorting project would take. I ended up working on it when I really should have stopped and done something else, but I am always so afraid that I will leave something halfway done and then never finish.
Tomorrow I will have to face the annual report I procrastinated on and dread doing. Bleh. I really should have done this instead of finishing my cleaning, but it will get done. I am so glad I got something done - something I dreaded - but I am going to have to get much better at the willpower thing to be able to make better choices among what I need to do.
I see the detailed time schedules that some people post on here, but that just does not work for me. I get one thing out of sync and don't adjust well. I need to pick out the pressing couple of things, visualize it happening, think about the consequences, and go.
I am actually going to bed at 10:00!!! I just hope I can sleep.
little wonder
congratulations! it is great to hear how this fellowship works!
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - William Penn
Convalaria's recovery Monday 9.30am
The first day of my new life.....I hope!
It occurs to me that in some ways a person with an alcohl or drug addiction has a much more clear situation to deal with than us procrastinators....
For us and for others such as overeaters....it is much more difficult to know when we are engaging in the unwanted behaviours....
For me it is difficult to differentiate between tiredness and avoidance, between self care and avoidance.......I can be very busy and yet I can be procrastinating!
Paralysis can be easier to address because at least I know that I am not accomplishing anything...
PLANS FOR TODAY
The list seems too long
ONWARDS!!
"Recovery from procrastination means doing what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it."
Differentiating
Hi Convalaria,
I agree! With some addictions, one can give up the behavior altogether (drinking, smoking, drugs.) Like you say, compulsive procrastination is more like overeating, or being a sex addict or something. The goal isn't to give up eating (or sex or whatever) altogether, but to find a healthy balance -- making sure that we use food (or sex or whatever) in a way that meets our needs rather than interfering with getting our real needs met.
And that can definitely be confusing. Depending on the situation, I might be better off delaying a particular task to work on something else, take a break, focus on a relationship, or whatever. It might even be a task that I don't need to do at all! Or I might be procrastinating in a negative way -- avoiding meeting some real need.
Especially when I'm tired or stressed, it can really be hard to tell which is which, so I can definitely relate to what you're saying. I guess it's a learning process!
Falcon
differentiating -more
I can also really relate to this. I have used procrastination to avoid learning this skill--leaving things till they're urgent and must be binged.
I think I need to ask for more help from HP for this, to help me find the path of accomplishing the scary but most important goals.
This links up to some issues about fear of success. I remember Desmond Tutu talking about how maybe we are scared to be all that we are meant to be.
Hope-Faith - Late CI 4:05
Very late CI for the day. Had Family drama to deal with. I have had a some what productive day. Washed 3 loads of clothes and folded two which I still need to put away. Started clipping the Sunday coupons for the week. Unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. I am still some what rolling around in my own self-pitty but getting ready to put and end to that now.
Next task is to update Living Life taken Action post. Will work in chat.
CI 5:45 I have updated my post and go a working plan going. This plan will be a work in progress.
Fix supperPut up clotheskids showerp/u livingroomanddinningroomclip couponsCI 6:45 Kids are in process of getting showers. I am going to pick up livingroom and then clip coupons.
CO 9:25 did not get everything on my list done but it is time to go to bed I have an early am tomorrow and hopefully a better out look. Good night to all.
hope-faith
Falcon Sunday CI
Hi pro buddies,
Winter depression sucks rocks! I refuse to give in to the drive to hibernate, darn it!
To do next:
To don't:
Falcon
Falcon is a sleepyhead
Whoa! I sat down to work on the choir letter, and could NOT stay awake -- I kept nodding off in my chair. I finally decided I must really be needing sleep (either that or the darned cat hypnotized me!) so I took a short nap (next to the cat, who was happy to have the body heat.)
Now working on the letter -- almost done.
Falcon
Falcon CI Sunday p.m.
O.k., I finished the letter and sent it.
Next up: take very short break, then go grocery shopping
Falcon
ETA: O.k., that's enough of a break. Time to haul myself out of this chair and go get the groceries, even though it's getting dark out & I feel like going into hibernation (did I mention that winter depression totally sucks rocks?) :P
Falcon Sunday evening CI
O.k., groceries are done and I made a nice healthy lunch for tomorrow!
Next up: eat dinner. Then brush my teeth (I want to try brushing my teeth right after dinner for a while. That way when I get sleepy in the evening, I won't put off getting up to brush my teeth because it will already be done!) Email P. Put out some clothes for tomorrow, maybe order exercise videos, maybe order gloves. Maybe shop online for gps (I'm really tired of getting lost!) Get to bed EARLY since my body keeps insisting it wants sleep.
Falcon
ETA: just sent an email to a friend (something I had wanted to do today.) NOW I'm going to eat dinner.
ETA: O.k., I had dinner and actually brushed my teeth right away! (Yay me!) I emailed P., figured out what I'm wearing tomorrow, looked up gps info and ordered the videos. Now I'm puttering around putting off going to bed even though I'm sleepy. (Hmm, maybe subconsciously realizing that once I go to bed, the next thing that will happen is getting up for work. Bummer!)
O.k., off to bed now. Good night, everyone!
Recycler CI 1:20pm EST
Hi Pro Buddies!
I feel a nap coming on, but I will do a quick CI first! ;)
Already done today: my dollhouse is at the new location, so I set it up & put the dolls in. I went to my mid-morning activity, then ran some errands. I ate lunch when I got back. I'll take my nap next, and then decide what to do ;)
3:35pm. I prepared my gym bags after taking a nap, so I feel a sense of accomplishment ;) Next: I need to put some things in boxes re moving. I don't need to do anything with them just yet -- just get them in the boxes lol!
4pm. Stuff is in boxes. Heh heh heh. Next: surf the Internet a little bit, then drive car over here ;)
5:40pm. Load of boxes has been taken over to new condo & put inside. Now I have to check on the fish sticks that I am cooking ;)
6:40pm. Ate fish sticks, then wrote email to international friend.
Big picture: I don't have everything done that ideally should be done.
However, progress not perfection. I did work on some things today.
I am feeling some anxiety from not having "everything done in advance." However, sometimes that is part of life. At least I did do some things.
Next, maybe I will do one more thing before going over to the other condo? I haven't decided yet. We'll see ;)
Have a great day, everyone! :)
Recycler
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
Rolzup CI
[X] check ins and
[X] Breakfast
[X] e-mail dash
[X] check ticklers (file, e-mail, reader, bookmarks, desktop)
[X] morning chores
[X] meditation
[ ] writingNo time![ ] family time/get ready for Mass
[ ] 10:45 leave for Mass
[ ] get some cold cuts
[ ] lunch/family time
[ ] 3:00 GTD routine
[ ] 6:00 family time
--Rolzup
e's new day
Today I feel hopeful again, thanks to the chatbox and the members of this fellowship. I will head to the chatbox to work on my resume again. I would also like to plan a healthy dinner, complete a cycle of laundry, and work on keeping the kitchen in shape. I also would like to wake my son up so that he can get up for school tomorrow at 6:30. Finally, I hope to make it to the meeting today. Hope to see you there!
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - William Penn
e's weekend reprise
It started out cruddy and ended pretty well. I did not accomplish a fully revised resume, but I did manage to contact a friend to review it and who can give me the inside scoop on a job I am interested in.
I got stuck in goodreads.com (my sister invited me) so I will need to watch it: I LOVE reading and always want to know what other people are reading!
so, to bed now, so I can wake up at 6 am for my son!
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - William Penn
oooh goodreads !!
e, If you want to connect on goodreads, send me an email though this site! I'll understand if you don't though, might not be so anonymous :).
Jo
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
kromer 9:25 CI
Leaving on a trip today, and having a hard time getting going on taking care of last packing tasks.
Today I need to:
*Go to church + deacon's mtg
*Dry and pack clothes
*Get a poncho
*Get toiletries for trip
*Get something to hold my money etc.
*Tidy up room
*Get some books from library+return old book
Going to stick clothes in dryer now, then go buy some toiletries quickly
Journey 9 am
Good Sunday morning! I unintentionally slept in this morning, which will not be conducive to my early to bed, early to rise habit building! Still, I plan to go to bed early tonight. If I am not sleepy I can listen to an audio book. I have loads of guided meditations too which are cool to listen to when settling down to sleep.
I have a reasonable todo list planned for today, starting with Quiet Time which I neglected over the holidays. I also rewrote my personal goals for 2009 this morning. I think I should try to do that every week or so. It not only keeps them fresh in my mind, but fulfills my list-making jones :)
Going now for quiet time, at least 5 minutes. Then go ahead and prep for tomorrow since that is foremost in my mind right now.
Jo
"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
- George Eliot
Getting up early
Thanks for your response yesterday! My goal is to get up at 6 am tomorrow. I got up late today too, which probably won't help(: I'll check in sometime tomorrow morning and let you know how it went. Good luck on your early rising!
Thanks for the beautiful day starter!
Thanks for the beautiful day starter. It really resonates with one of my New Year's new directions.
Lots to do. I'm aiming to put some time into all items below rather than to binge on one.
[one ch done] c test study--beginning now; some done, return later
[x] take loan cycle for safety check
revise expectations below because of a nice invite for this evening. (I would be much more purposeful and focussed if I socialized more....)
[x done&sent, y done ] minutes
[x]kitchen
[]household
[x] fold and put away yesterday's laundry
[x] trrash
[1] corresp and calls
[x] music
goal for tomorrow morning: get up on time even though it is dark and microburst study time. Intersperse book work with 10 min. tidying breaks.
Weekly 12-Step P.A. Meeting in "meetings chatbox"
Procrastinators Anonymous weekly 12-Step meeting in "meetings chatbox".
Meeting is held:
> Click here to find your timezone equivalent for today's meeting.
> Click here to find your timezone equivalent for next week's meeting.
I don't want to create a feeling of "obligation". Many of us suffer from issues with "Demand Resistance", and obligation would just make things worse.
Also, I wanted to make it clear that we don't take attendance.
Each person is welcome to come or not come according to their own inner guidance -- i.e. the Higher Power of their understanding.
This is a 12-Step meeting.
---
outreach calls/sponsor(s)
I need an outreach call for this program. I feel like I'm in the
middle of an emergency/crisis on account of my addiction. I am so freaked out, I don't know how to make a decision about what to take on first. I am totally totally out of control with this
addiction. I feel embarrassed to admit it even to a counselor, and I've admitted my other addictions to her. I'm not going to be able to see her possibly again for a long time, because of scheduling problems. I have insurance that forces me to go to one center, and then I cannot get reassigned to a different psychologist, b/c it is against the clinic policy, which is insane, but it's what I'm dealing with. Even if I switched therapists, there'd be no time, because I work and go to school at the same time.
it's not just procrastination for the joy of it. I get very little
of any joy right now. it's just compulsive avoidance of specific
things, or compulsive avoidance of everything, when I let those
specific things take over my consciousness. I've had this problem for
years. I can block things out of my need to get them done for YEARS.
This habit has destroyed me, and I am no longer able to make decisions
even so much about what is most important to get done first. I
hesitate about writing emails, b/c I don't want to or cannot commit on times, and if I do, I regret doing so, b/c there will never be enough room to do what I need to do, and I need to do all of it, or I will not be able to afford to live. I must work, must go to school to receive my government subsidized housing. I must go to school anyways, b/c I feel like shit, when I don't. Plus, no one can move me out of this complex, because my family members are very unsafe, and I have no friends, who can help me, other than program contacts, and they are not willing to help me move. I am so hoisted by my own petoon.
I need to get some outreach phone numbers, because I am in a situational crisis that is entirely my fault, but I feel out of control. I don't have control at this point and I need to discuss the problem with someone so that I can think clearly about it. I cannot even prescribe what I ought to do at this point. It's too much for me.
sending positive "qi" to you!
Hi fudo_shin!
I am sending some positive qi-energy to you!
Keep coming back. Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time.
See you on the board!
Recycler
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
If anyone has any concrete
If anyone has any concrete steps for dealing with a crisis situation, it'd help. i've tried thinking Iwould write down a list of things to do in the morning, since I cannot sleep and have a headache, even. That's how disturbed I feel. But I don't even trust myself to follow that. I need to be responsive to someone else other than myself right now, b/c being responsive just to myself is not working right now.
If you have experience in this program and have done some step work and feel some recovery, please pass on a phone number for me to make an outreach call. I much appreciate any help in advance.
For fudo shin
Hi fudo shin,
I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now!
It sounds like you are overwhelmed, and you need someone who can stay calm with you and help you get centered enough to think clearly again.
I don't know where you are located, but most states have crisis hotlines. Here is a listing:
http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/hotlines/state.asp
Call one near you, and you will connect with someone who can talk you into a clearer state of mind. It doesn't matter if it's out-of-state (that just means it will be a toll call instead of free.)
People who staff those lines understand crisis states. It's o.k. to tell them the truth -- however bad you think your situation is, they have heard worse things and will not judge you.
They can also refer you to local resources if you decide to seek other ongoing counseling.
I hope you'll reach out & connect with someone who can get you through the crisis. Please check in and let us know how it goes. . . we are thinking good thoughts for you.
Falcon
I already call those lines
I already call those lines every so often, but where I live they require that you're suicidal. I talk to them anyways, but I could lighten up the payload for them. They are how I heard about my last counselling center. I regularly already am seeing a professional, as I think I mentioned in the comment.
fudo shin
I can't do phone, but I can easily do emails if you would like, or even private messaging in the chatroom if that would be helpful. I did this with another member recently and worked together on similar projects and both of us found it very helpful on breaking through with tasks we are highly resistant to. If you can get to the meeting held today in the chatroom try: it is an hour worth 40 in my experience.
I can only imagine how you are feeling because I fortunately am not in such dire straights, but I do relate to what you describe. Please take care of yourself: your counselor I am sure is familiar with procrastination behaviors like ours (mine is). Your safety and basic needs are most important. Please try to cut yoruself some slack: we have developed this aversion to action because of various experiences in our lives. Do not be ashamed: many of us have been down this path before.
You are welcome to send me email if you like and I will be happy to reply. In the meantime, keep coming here if you can, even if only to help you breathe. Every little step is action taken in a positive direction. I have started moving on things I have been frozen on for years when I go into the chatroom and talk to myself. When I am most stuck I try to remember to get down on my knees and recite the Serenity Prayer:
God/Higher Power grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
hugs to you, e
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - William Penn
Thanks for the input. I
Thanks for the input. I really am kind of hard on myself; I forget sometimes that addiction is after all a coping mechanism for other things that were worth avoiding (or maybe still are). I am willing to email or to meet in the channel. Please let me know when you are present. I am on USA Pacific time (Los Angeles time), and usually at the computer in the evenings or on Sunday afternoon after the meeting.
Hi Fudo-Shin. I am replying
Hi Fudo-Shin. I am replying to wish you strength. I can't offer to phone, but if you go into th chat room, I'll be there on and off and can offer encouragement.
Can you do one tiny microburst on one thing?