Hi I guess
Well, I'd like to introduce myself, like everyone else here, as a prime example of a procrastinator. I'm brand new to the group and well to posting anything online in general.
I'm a fourth-year university student in Chemistry that feels like everything is just kind of slipping away gradually, piece by piece, and like nothing I can do (more like I just haven't done anything about it) will give me the motivation to finish what I've started. I started my university career off to a great start, but since the start of my second semester in first year, my grades just continuously slid in the downward direction. This happened even moreso in second and third year when I became a huge pot addict. I blamed my failures on other things (such as pot, bad profs, horrible roommates etc. etc.), yet I know that it was all me all along. For this reason, I lost my girlfriend of three years, missed plenty of opportunities to find solid co-op positions (and eventually lost co-op altogether), and altogether just crumpled into a pile of solidarity and loneliness (so it seems). Now, don't get me wrong, I have a lot of "friends", but my habit of keeping things until the last minute force me to avoid almost everything until I've done them. This includes things that I enjoy doing, but yet feel I can't do them because I know what I have to do first... and yet I still don't get the one thing done that really needs to be done. It's embarassing to admit that it feels like I can't handle more than one thing at a time.
For example, I have a final project due next week worth 100% of my mark. I've had it already for a week, and I've basically done nothing on it. This is while I have other exams during this week, but since I know I have this one thing due, I haven't even attempted studying for the other things. How messed is that?
The thing is, I don't know why I leave everything to the last minute. I know what I have to do, I just don't do it. It's like I convince myself I have time to do the things that I need to, until there really isn't enough time to do them in.
I've read a lot of the posts, and they all seem very insightful and really do apply to me, but I just don't know where I should start. I've tried changing before and it hasn't worked. This whole escapade reminds me of how I stopped smoking weed (because there were countless times that I said I would stop, and then just disappointed myself by turning back to it, but I got over it, yet will do it occasionally). I don't know what the hell to do, and where I should start. A new semester is almost upon me, and I always feel like a new semester will be a new start, but it always turns out the same way...with me cramming like a madman the night before my finals...Help!!