Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

I want to know if anybody is the way I am.

Today, my parents called me out of my room and told me that my insurance had been stopped. I needed to get into college to get it back again.

When they were explaining it, I felt like a child being punished. I couldn't do anything but nod and stand there as they said what they needed to and left.

I keep thinking I want to kill myself. This isn't special, since its been a habit of mine, since third grade, when things get rough. But I'm really depressed.

I'm not new, but I only made one post here a long time ago when I was afraid to graduate from high school.

Could anyone provide me with support? I feel completely hopeless.

Oh, and sorry if this isn't the right place to put this thread.

Thank you!

I can't believe so many people can relate! Being the type of person to isolate herself, it's surprising that there are people like me.

First off, if you would like to, yes, you can pray for me. I'm not a Christian, but I do believe in spirituality. I would be really happy.

I find that I'm EXTREMELY demand resistant.

I told my boyfriend about this, and he just about threw me in the car and took me to a community college I said I'd apply for. He's been very supportive, while being very strict with me about this. I really needed that.

And now, I'm accepted, and I have the real stuff to do.

I'm frightened (just ask my boyfriend. I was literally shaking afterwards.) but I feel a lot lighter, too. Thank you, everyone. I'm going to try to Check In every day.

Hi sato

I'm pretty new here too but I just wanted to say hi, congratulations on making progress, and thank you for introducing me to the term "demand-resistant" because I'm pretty sure I have some of that as well. :)

Congrats, Sato! Good Job! Good Luck w/ Your Classes! :-)

Dear Sato,

Couldn't get back to the site sooner, but am very glad to hear that you applied to & were accepted into college.  Congrats!

Am also glad to hear that you have someone as supportive as your boyfriend whom you said "just about threw me in the car" and took you to the college to help you get your application completed & submitted.  Since you yourself mentioned that you need it, I'm glad he's being strict w/ you about this. 

Sounds like your boyfriend really wants what's best for you and wants you to succeed.  He also realizes that all you have to do is give it a try & once you begin to see your efforts pay off, you'll prove to yourself that, yes, you can do it ... and you'll probably even begin enjoying your classes ... and your successes.... as well.  Every time you master something that you fear (for fear of failure, or for whatever the reason might be) ... you'll gain more & more confidence.  New tasks will then become less intimidating, and one day, you'll look back on this and realize that you can be very proud of yourself & your accomplishments.  


Also, as a new member & having now read the articles that Pro has written & posted on this website .....

I can say .......

Though there are many times I'm very easygoing & really enjoy getting into a project & doing well ... like creative writing or photography, or staying in touch w/ relatives & friends all over the globe ...there are also times when I can be either somewhat - or even on occasion, very - demand resistent myself, depending on the situation.  Particularly if there's something that I really, really don't want to do.  So, I can relate.

However, every task, every fear we face and overcome, gives us the confidence we need to take the next step & the one after that, and the one after that again, til before you know it, you suddenly find yourself at the top of the mountain ... and that's when & where you'll look around, relax and take in the fresh air & sweet smell of success!  :-)  Believe, it'll happen for you too! 



I originally signed up recently as "Blonde Beauty" but felt that this was a little bit too obnoxious, so I've now changed my alias to "Aña Mañana".  :-)  It's appropriate!

Meantime, have a great day tomorrow & a wonderful weekend, too, Sato!



 I think it is great that you are enrolled in a community college! I went back to school there the last time I was unemployed and I found a great support network of all sorts of students and professors. It was one of the most diverse groups of people I had ever met and I would enjoy working there if I could!  I found 80 year old Vietnamese nuns, refugees from Eritrea, professionals who were taking courses to qualify for masters programs, a nobel-prize winning mathematics professor who taught down the street at MIT but really preferred working with  the high school dropout population who were frightened to death of math. Lots of working people, others who just did not know what they wanted yet, but felt lost enough to apply to college, single mothers who were getting their qualifications for nursing and a huge, wonderful support network of people, among them. 

I found that I was enormously scared to go back to school because I had so miserably failed when first in college. I decided to microschedule myself to make sure that I got things done: after 9 pm I was no longer a mother and a spouse, but a student for 2 hours. I don't know where I got the willingness to do that, but I did and it worked and I loved it, and I graduated with a 4.0 and then applied to a private college to complete the rest and got a 4.0 there too. Now I am stuck in graduate school, but that is okay. I now know that I have been down before, that I go through this pain and fear of failure that keeps me paralyzed from doing anything. But with this fellowship I have the support to take babysteps towards progress. 

Keep coming back!

Hi Sato

Good to hear from you again. I was a little worried that you were never going to come back!


I can imagine how very much it felt like punishment (and sometimes I need to be pushed to move ahead. ) I m in a very pissed off space myself right now and one thing that it has done for me is gotten my adrenaline going so that I am taking action for myself (and screw everybody else is the rejoinder). Funnily, I feel much better about myself finally being in action.  Remember, you can choose to go to college, or you can choose not to. You can choose to go get a job instead and get your own insurance (which you can get if you work even part time in certain grocery stores in the US.  I find that isolating is a huge part of my problem and that coming places like this, or better yet, getting out to a live 12 step meeting, can be incredibly effective at moving from a place of stagnation. Last night I went to 2 meetings that I had no idea about yesterday morning and I already feel much more hopeful about things.

 Please keep coming back. Pro has posted some wonderful readings, and it sounds like you might benefit from looking at demand resistance. (i am HUGELY demand resistant). You are not alone and suicide does not allow you to choose new things. I find that choosing is much better than making a decision: you can always choose something new.  Any little step in the right direction will propel you out of stagnation, so just coming in here is a great first step. 


Yes, a lot of people feel the way you do....

Am new to this site and have to head out to work soon, but wanted to assure you that everyone feels that way at some point.  Haven't read the other comments yet (will do so tomorrow) ... but what's wrong with going to college?  I had to work full time and attend college p/t in the evenings ... for years.  That was not easy, but I got through it.  What I didn't have time to take advantage of was all the fun one can have in college (within reason).  Anyway... when approached w/ a hopeful attitude, college (in taking various freshman classes) is a place where you can explore & learn all about what you'd like to do later in life.  What you enjoy doing that you can translate to a full-time career that you can use to support yourself.


Got to go now! 

Will review other comments & write more tomorrow.

Please take care & have a good evening!



hey Sato! Keep coming back!

Hi Sato!

You are in the right place! Keep coming back! Let us know how it goes!


Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

I know the desire... end it all when feeling overwhelmed by past-due obligations.

I also remember right away what I would lose by doing that. 

And I recall what a therapist told me nearly 30 years ago: That if I cut off suicide as an option, then I will actually be motivated to get help sooner for the issues that have led me to think that way.

We are all here for you. This is a place that is safe, supportive, encouraging and understanding. 

We will cheer you on as you grow and give you comfort and reassurance when you stumble.



The Hero's Code:

Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.

Welcome Sato

Aha, this sounds just like the conversation I had with my daughter recently, lol.   So you are definitely not the only one.  Welcome, read the articles and post your intentions in the daily check-in threads, then post your progress on those intentions.  It really helps!  


"The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom." - H.L. Mencken

welcome here sato, i think

welcome here sato, i think you will find you that many of us struggle with the same issues and that there is a lot of support, and even hope and progress from the solidarity.

For me, a beginner to the 12 steps, but the owner of many books on procrastination, the 12 steps and support here have helped me find progress and hope for the first time. I hope you'll feel ready to join us and keep coming back.

Sato, we can all relate...

It may sound a little funny coming from me, since I was talking about killing myself just recently, but it's clear to me when you say it that you shouldn't - and neither should I!

Tell us more about yourself and your history. This is an amazingly supportive group. I just lost my job, and the people here have been keeping me going during this crisis. They (we) will keep you going, too!

You can fix this problem - you really can.

Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.

Welcome, Sato

Welcome back, Sato.

I can relate... You and I are very close in the exact day, almost. I, too, have been pretty depressed for ....almost a year now? ...maybe more. I don't kind of snuck up on me, I guess. Among other things, I have a hard time making friends at school (I go to a small-ish college...studying graphic design). I had tons of friends in high school, so I often reflect and think things like "what happened? why did i have so many friends in high school, yet now people barely show an interest in speaking to me?" Its hard to feel good when it feels like nobody cares.

Then I found PA. This is a good place for you to be, Sato. The people here are so supportive, and genuinely interested in the well-being of other PA members. We all know what its like to go through a rough spot.

I've only been a member here for a few weeks, but having this website has really helped me sort out my thoughts... Its a safe place where you can write out how you're feeling....we don't judge!

Another good way to release bad feelings is to get in touch with your spirituality. Do you go to church at all, or make time in your day to meditate, or believe in a Higher Power? The only place I've felt TRULY happy in the past year or so is at church. And the first thing I do when I start to feel anxious or sad or angry is to pray to God, asking for guidance.

May I pray for you? Is there anything in particular that you would like help with? 

our water got turned off

well i live in my own house, but no matter, our water recently got turned off because of non-payment. I had the money, of course, that wasn't the issue. just didnt get around to paying the bill, or noticing the warning mailings either.

Procrastination is terrible in a way. People here start out bewildered why they can't do what they want to do. We talk about barriers, or resistance, or dread at doing very basic tasks that most people do w/o a second thot.

But people here have found some measure of recovery. People are finding that they can get over that resistance, and do those tasks. We all here still struggle, but it is definitely better for us now than before we starting using this program.

For me, the 12 steps are the key. Especially steps 1-3. They allow me to accept who i am, and not be so overwhelmingly disappointed in myself for being that way. Procrastination has a vicious negative spiral--we procrastinate, then we feel horrible for having procrastinated, which makes us procrastinate again. I still wish i did not procrastinate, but now i accept it and can move on. And when i fail, i have the strength, encouragement, and hope to try again.

For me that comes from belief in a Higher Power that is going to help me thru this. I feel that happening.

If you have time i would encourage you to read thru all the "pa meeting materials" because they all have helped me and many others here.

finally, i encourage you to post to the daily thread. Today's is Wednesday, Dec. 3, 2008 but you'll see it on the right hand side for each new day. This is where we primarily dialog w/ each other. This is for "check-ins" for saying what you're going to do, and then reporting back, regardless of the outcome, good or bad. It's more important to post when you didnt follow thru, to curb the negative cycle. Everyone confesses their failings here and we all understand so it's ok.

Most important: there is hope!

h2h. I'll be praying for you.