What caught my attention about this site was the fresh-to-me idea of procrastination as another manifestation of an 'addictive personality'. I'd previously never categorized myself in this vein and it initially shocked me, but upon deeper reflection and considering my other behaviours I realized this may be a truthful correlation.
So now what? I think of myself as an addictive personality, wondering what other behaviours I'm prone to. Then what? Am I really going to find myself in a twelve step program? The stereotypes and cliches running through my head are overwhelming and really are hard to get over, but I must. Is anyone else at this point? Is a procrastinator going to fit in at an AA meeting or other addictive personality group meeting? Now, I guess I'm wondering, in my own independent way, if other procrastinators are or have done some soul searching/twelve-stepping on their own, and what their experience has been. How did you not just put off such a difficult task? What else can this site offer in terms of solutions and insights from others with the same problem- resolved or not? Thanks in advance for the responses.
- Login to post comments
12-step fellowships are a blessing!!
Going to an AA meeting is no punishment - AA meetings are wonderful. If you have a desire to stop drinking (which is the only requirement for attending closed AA meetings), then you have access to the most wonderful fellowship on this earth. There is nothing like it. And yes, I know first-hand.
One 12-step program that tends to attract procrastinators in droves is Debtors Anonymous. I've been going to DA meetings because they are close to what I need, though I'm not a compulsive spender and never have been. I just tend to procrastinate on work stuff, which causes me to underearn and this is a subgroup within DA (underearners).
I'm starting a new DA meeting in New York City for procrastinators - people whose financial life is affected by procrastination. I posted about this today - it's on the home page.
Don't feel like you've hit bottom or failed in some horrible way if you decide to take advantage of 12 step meetings. They are a wonderful resource. Forget the stigma - you'll find a lot of people in 12-step meetings - AA, in particular - who are wiser and healthier than anyone you'll meet outside "the rooms".
Thanks for the insight, Pro.
Thanks for the insight, Pro. Do others using this site have suggestions for other programs/groups to involve with in addition to DA mentioned above? Perhaps a list of suitable groups would be a useful resource for the users of this site if they've proven valuable to many procrastinators already. Forgive me if this list is already on this P-A site.
I haven't found any useful face-to-face meetings, and I don't know what the 12 steps of a '12 steps programme' are (I wouldn't be eligible for AA or DA), but I have benefitted tremendously from using support groups on the internet (including this one - details elsewhere on this site). It took me years of procrastinating before I finally made a decision to tackle it, and try to find ideas on the net. I have been implementing what I can, and most of the techniques have been effective either immediately or almost so. The ones that aren't are the ones that still get procrastinated about (the excercises in 'The Now Habit' just end up languishing!). I have had a great deal of success, which I don't think I would have had without the internet support. In fact, so much so that I have removed the label 'procrastinator' from my listing here. I no longer feel like a procrastinator - I'm just someone who procrastinates sometimes, like most other people. I've still got work to do though, and I don't want to backslide, which is why I still check in here regularly (even if I don't post), and I still use my support groups.
12 Steps from Recoveries Anonymous
I hope this does not cause issues or violates anything - if so, let me know and remove it.
Recoveries Anonymous is for any addiction. One concept that they believe is that people can recover from anything. I'm really not into debating - so please take what you like and leave the rest. I know 12 step programs work if you work the program. However, many people are not ready for something of this spiritual nature. Which is fine:)
Within R.A., we use the original Twelve Steps as developed by A.A. with only two slight modifications. R.A.'s First Step says that we are ''powerless over self-destructive behavior'' instead of ''alcohol.'' R.A.'s Twelfth Step says that ''we tried to carry this message to others,...'' instead of ''alcoholics.''
For more information about Recoveries Anonymous, the Solution Focused Twelve Step Fellowship, please visit our Home page.
R.A.'s Twelve Steps
1—We admitted we were powerless over self-destructive behavior — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2—Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3—Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4—Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5—Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6—Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7—Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8—Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9—Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10—Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11—Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12—Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Many of us exclaimed, ''What an order! I can't go through with it.'' Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were self-destructive and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our self–destructive behavior.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
To give credit where due...
I just want to note that this text is adapted from AA's "Big Book". It's from the chapter 5, titled "How It Works", and it's read at many AA meetings. The only difference is that in the "Big Book" it says "alcohol" rather than "self-destructive behavior" (e.g. "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol..."
I'm a big fan of 12-step programs. They work. One of the members of this site suggested starting on online Procrastinators Anonymous meeting here. I think I'd like to do that. I put a poll on the home page to see if there are enough people interested.
The 12 steps
A quick search leads me to http://www.12step.org/steps/ for a list of the 12 steps.
Thanks tl and flexiblefine :)