Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.
Agnus struggling on a project
I am really procrastinating writing this Project E. Need Steps! I see that people with good PA recovery have a life that works, and a clear runway for goodness to flow in and flow out to others. I want what recovering PAs have and I'm willing to go to any length to get it.
I admit I am powerless over compulsive procrastination and my life has become unmanageable. Check. I have come to believe that a Power Greater than myself can restore (introduce?) me to sanity. Check. I make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand him. Check. I have made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself, and I admit to God, myself and another human being the exact nature of my wrongs:
I am filled with fear that when I finish this project I will have to do the next one which is scarier and then the next thing which is vacation and I am afraid J will get sick or even die while we are travelling. I am afraid he is too sick to go and that maybe we are both in denial about that. I am angry and afraid that he isn't getting the medical care he needs, and there is nothing more I can do about it before our vacation starts Thursday.
I am entirely ready to have God remove all my defects of character, and I humbly ask him to remove my shortcomings. God, please remove my fear and direct my thinking to what you would have me be: trusting and relying upon infinite you instead of my finite self. Please demonstrate through me what you can do. Thank you. Amen.
I am making a list of all the persons I've harmed - PN, VH, J, myself - and I am willing to make amends to them all. I will now make direct amends by starting this work project NOW in order to stop injuring myself and others with fear and procrastination.
First I will break it down: read and notate rfp. read and notate q&a. go to laptop and open last submission. see if sections (tabs) match. If not create new tabs with definitions. read former Tab 1; cut and paste to new Tab 1. Update language as needed. Repeat section by section. Copy former budget worksheet. Enter new numbers to match new proposal. Revise budget narrative to match. Email PN and VH.
and the tools
steady progress
read and notate rfp.read and notate q&a. go to laptop and open last submission. see if sections (tabs) match. If not create new tabs with definitions. read former Tab 1; cut and paste to new Tab 1. Update language as needed. Repeat section by section. Copy former budget worksheet. Enter new numbers to match new proposal. Revise budget narrative to match. Email PN and VH.that was hard - but now it is DONE! Hallelujah!
Mollie's check-in
To do:
-finish email re: MM
-call NR back
-make appt to see MM
Done:
-got wireless network working properly again
-finished email re: DD
-spoke to Dr. S re: MM & MW
-had nice lunch date with partner (yay!)
-finalize ltr re: MW & email to KS
-talk to MR re: MM
marcelor CI Friday
checked out the UA site and the "hiding and biting" thing really hit home... I have decided to do one thing every day where I reach out.
So: schedule interviews *2
continue clean up
4 pomos writing
free writing
return book
it's FRIday FRIday
Unfortunately my late night last night has not given me Rebecca Black's peppiness :(
Domestic things
-put dishes away-put clothes away
Job things
-figure out Saturday
-follow up applications+ connection!School things
-send email about 242 studying
Self things
-work
-list for tomorrow
-order planner!
Agnus CI
What a blessing it is to be back here working a PA program again. SO grateful for everyone's shares today. My habit-building for 30 minutes of uninterrupted prayer, study and reflection is weak but I'm keeping at it: Today got basic prayer and study done but caved to a text and a phone call, and once found myself down a rabbit-trail seeking definitions of spiritual terms online - ooooff!
Yesterday my biggest project P was cancelled so I have a little self-pity about having postponed my vaca for it. Good old self-pity, always there for me when I haven't been kind to myself!
Today I have already done my morning routines, a little service, washed dishes, changed bedding, straightened bedroom and kitchen, called in Rx refill, swatted some email flies, started some personal legal/financial matters I've been procrastinating. Also my HP blessed me with a call from a program friend who was thinking of me during her prayer time and inspired to call. How lovely! Take that, self-pity.
Now to plan the day, with God's help:
drink at least 4 glasses of water today 1, 2, 3, 4finalize financial papers - took less time than expected, yay!reply to legal email (note this will generate a call that needs to be taken no matter when it comes today) - this took much longer than I expected but the outcome looks goodspend 5 minutes praying about my Board role; take action indicatedAdd RSVP to box-wrap party and send to staffverify who's covering partner event SaturdayLock in time M-T for Board presentation (post on portal?)Lock in time for MMgt preworkClear InboxHome; reheat chicken stewe's tenacious focus 10/18/13
For Today:
send email with registration form to B
laundry
make lunch
stay away from sugar and flour
Ben's birthday
bed, shower, dress, face, pill, pack lunch, eat and take the rest of the pills. teeth. open window for light
Keys: return to K, make duplicates for Kenai, back door, find missing one, safe,
Success is not final, failure is not fatal
Do 1 lecture by noon.
Do 1 lecture by noon.
Vic 10/18/13 ck in
maint basics, exer, plan follow throughTHANKS jalla for starter.
Leaving tommorrow @2am and every time I want to do something, I think of 10 more things "to do" and 100 more "should have done"/. Needless to say, in the "procrastination space of insanity" So no chat box, but will ck in here, and write my list on my sticky notes. thanks.
trust self
good one:esp for me.
Throwing Out the Rule Book
Many
of us feel like we need a rulebook, a microscope, and a warranty to get
through life. We feel uncertain, frightened. We want the security of
knowing what's going to happen, and how we shall act.
We don't trust life or ourselves.
We don't trust the Plan.
We want to be in control.
"I've
made terrible mistakes about my choices, mistakes that nearly destroyed
me. Life has really shocked me. How can I trust myself? How can I trust
life, and my instincts, after where I've been?" asked one woman.
It
is understandable that we fear being crushed again, considering the way
many of us were when we bottomed out on our codependency. We don't have
to be fearful. We can trust our self, our path, and our instincts.
Yes,
we want to avoid making the same mistakes again. We are not the same
people we were yesterday or last year. We've learned, grown, changed. We
did what we needed to do then. If we made a mistake, we cannot let that
stop us from living and fully experiencing today.
We
have arrived at the understanding that we needed our experiences - even
our mistakes - to get to where we are today. Do we know that we needed
our life to unfold exactly as it did to find ourselves, our Higher
Power, and this new way of life? Or is part of us still calling our past
a mistake?
We can let go of our
past and trust ourselves now. We do not have to punish ourselves with
our past. We don't need a rulebook, a microscope, a warranty. All we
really need is a mirror. We can look into the mirror and say, "I trust
you. No matter what happens, you can take care of yourself. And what
happens will continue to be good, better than you think."
Today,
I will stop clinging to the painful lessons of the past. I will open
myself to the positive lessons today and tomorrow hold for me. I trust
that I can and will take care of myself now. I trust that the Plan is
good, even when I don't know what it is.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
my focus
ok, do sticky note and 3@ time
1, 2, 3. ,1.2.3. 1.2.3.done next 3thanks for helping me focus did better than before.
KF mini-check in Fri 18th Oct 12:50pm
Shocking morning. I actually don't even feel that guilty, which is somehow worse. I am just hell-bent on escapism at the moment. I did manage to do quite a bit of chargeable work yesterday so that is good, but I am constantly distracted. I have an event I am going to which means I have to leave late afternoon so only a couple of hours now to get something done.
jays friday 18th october
people say motivation won't last. neither does bathing, that's why we recommend it daily
zig ziglar
pick up scarf
order prescption
text son
phone mum
shop for toiletries
essential shopping
wash juicer
put rubbish out
Friday
readingstidywrite letter to Nask a to drop off docs Ndocs droppedoffice closeddeal with nerves
email to Nmeeting with aaccountsfilingnew envelope ccfind new address Nenmail decdrop docs to new address Ndecide CTbook shelf find space and organisego to bankstatementsvpost officeb apptdinnerrestmake dinnerrehab excercisesHIORexroth Check In 08.31
If I am not careful I shall spend the whole day repeatedly looking at my emails to see if there is any news of the flat I am buying. I have decided to stay in to answer any phone calls.
So today's list
x Up prayer reflection
x Make this list
x Check emails and posts
x Order food online for delivery tomorrow
Clothes washing
Read self esteem book
x Check camera - I think it is fine and I know why it did not seem to be so that is good
Exercise
Writing book
Post when/if it comes
Write journal
Prayer and reflection
Bed and sleep
Any support, constructive criticism or comment welcome.
Peace Rexroth
Rexroth Update 20.10
So today's list
x Up prayer reflection
x Make this list
x Check emails and posts
x Order food online for delivery tomorrow
x Clothes washing
x Read self esteem book
x Check camera - I think it is fine and I know why it did not seem to be so that is good
x Exercise - a little
Writing book
x Post when/if it comes
x Write journal
Prayer and reflection
Bed and sleep
Any support, constructive criticism or comment welcome.
Peace Rexroth
@Rexroth
Hi friend.
I've read your posts in past week or two.
You said today:
"Any support, constructive criticism or comment welcome."
Might I suggest ...
Regarding the process of purchasing the flat:
Forgive yourself for alternating between avoidance and over-focus.
This is a big step, and it's understandable to have conflicting emotions!
Turn the process over to the *care* of a loving caring Higher Power,
even if you're only able to imperfectly turn it over.
The "intent" to turn it over is what matters -- being "willing to be willing".
I've personally found it helpful to affiirm several times throughout each day -- a very brief sentence declaring that I'm releasing my thoughts, fears, and worries to higher power. (I allow the affirmation to be quick and simple, so that I don't feel I have to stop everything for a long process of prayer, which I might procrastinate doing.). I simply pause for a second, say aloud "I release these thoughts to higherpower" and then continue with whatever I'm doing. Simple but helpful. I can actually feel the stress flowing out of my being and dissolving.
(I learned this idea from a friend in another program, and I'm grateful to that person!)
When a situation is *very* stressful, I say the affirmation three times in a row, 30 seconds apart.
Another thing that helps me is something taken from BigBook,
from the bottom of the last full paragraph on page 68,
where it says "We ask ..."
I was taught by a sponsor to "ask" by saying aloud:
"Higher power, remove my fear and direct my attention to what you would have me be".
Sometimes I adapt that by substituting whatever troubling emotion or thought ... for the word "fear". For example: "higher power, remove my anxiety, and direct my attention to what you would have me be".
Rexroth, congratulations on taking this step of making the purchase. May it bring you blessings.
Peace and joy to you.
Thank you movingalong
Thank you movingalong, what you write is really helpful for me. What is for sure is that what I have been doing over the last few days has not been working at all well. I feel tired, stressed out, anxious and find it very hard to concentrate on anything.
So I am handing it all over. I shall reflect and pray about the handing over but not the details of what I would or would not like to happen.
I shall contact my solicitor again next Thursday which will be just over a week since I heard from her and also contact the electrician on the same day. Otherwise I shall leave it all alone unless of course I hear from either of them.
I shall plan the rest of things tomorrow and think about them a little this evening. I do want to get more of my book written and I have not been writing it.
So thank you for your positive suggestions.
Peace Rexroth
My Day Today
I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone meetings, and my life.
I want to thank jalla for starting this trend
Things I will do today
1. Go to the 5:45 a.m. telephone ACA meeting
2. Go to the 6:45 a.m. telephone OA meeting
3. Go to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting4. Cook and eat breakfast
5. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone CLA meeting
6. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA activity line
7. Take shower
8. Make an Al-Anon phone call
9. Get dressed
10. Go to the 11 a.m. telephone PA meeting11. Go to the 12 noon telephone ACA meeting12. Go to the 1:30 p.m. telephone UA meeting13. Go to the pharmacy and get my medicine
14. Go to the bus station to get a monthly pass
15. Get food
16. Go to work at 5:30 p.m.
Thanks for letting me share
Friday - days off
Greetings and thanks for all the posts, starters and encouragement.
I admit that I am powerless over my procrastination and debt and that my life had become unmanageable. I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity and I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. I humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings. I pray constantly and unceasingly only for knowledge of God's will for me today and the power to carry that out.
Its not about the tasks - its about listening to the moment and going with the flow of the spirit - today and NOW.
Its not about the money, its about listening to the simplicity of need and contentment - today and NOW.
Reflections on this week to learn from:
- I use the excuse of work to not study when I get home- for this short period of my life I will have to sacrifice that entitlement - only 4 months to exam.
- however I haven't been sleeping, mostly due to guilt of not doing what I should be doing, then watching tv and no exercise.
So I have 6 days off - yesterday reasonable amount of study but got to plan for these next few days.
Today:
important tasks:
must book accomm - otherwise won't be staying anywhere
sign stuff for K
pack bag
hang washing out
contact college re: sr
drive to parentals - listen to pharm podcasts
dinner w sis
Study: resp pharm - read chapters, vivas - 4hours today
check off so far:
signed stuff for friend
washing out
contacted college
done HUGE trawl for accomm and decent shortlist for fellow travellers to decided - phew! I've done more than my share! I like planning travels to a certain degree and then,,, novelty is over by 200th viewing of tiny rooms... plus hate making decisions for groups of people.
To do:
pack: 20mins
leave in 30mins
do some study this avo - & listen in car to podcasts
My thoughts for everyone and the rest of their days!
Mole's check in
What an exquisite thread starter, jalla. I have copied the image to inspire me for days to come. So easy to be frustratrated with myself for faffing at the moment as I slither off the rails. I love the newspaper headlines in the background, too. House beautiful and useful - oh yes, please. Swiss flowers - I yearn for them - gentians and edelweiss alpine roses and wood anemones.
This morning 9-11.15 work on writing with poms. I somehow need to get above this work, see not only the whole, but also the various processes that will contribute to its attainment.
11.30-1 - lunch with K
prov w project - will this be too early? But otherwise have an hour of aimlessness. Perhaps stay on at TLC and do some work here- what is some work? Specify. Plan next steps, urgent steps for eu.
3.30 home
take first of these next steps eg package for R, insurance, list of details for reading card applications.
other things that are getting urgent: pay mowing, write to A and Z.
5 walk scheduled with C. Is this sensible, will it make my foot worse? Or is the soul more important? Which bit of me should I be kinder to.?
eat healthy meal
declutter
check in
relax
BED BY 11
THINGS I DID WELL TODAY
THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER
THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR
Lucky CI
Spiritual time
Send V energy
Exercise
Get ready AM
Work on business
Housework - laundry
Email, forums etc (inc K, mala, casting sheets)
Freecycle - bike lock, airer, hair clippers
Try to reschedule Roy
Find dog kit
Check bank
To work 2-4pm
Flu shot
Play
Rest
Get ready for bed
Planning time
--
The ’3Ts’ aka ’Timed Task Tomorrow’ method - 3 questions before doing something online:
Is it Timed (set a timer)? Is it a Task? If it's a sudden impulse, can I act on it Tomorrow?
movingalong's Friday hopes
Hope, joy, and "perspective" ... amidst the chaos of life
thank you, jalla
lovely thread-starter
xo