Solidarity to you also. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I hope you are able to see a way out of your anxiety in order to do what you need to do. Please remember to do the little things to take care of yourself if you can.
And yes, we can start a new 24 hours anytime we like. No matter how many times we have repeated bad habits (in my case) the next period of time always has the capacity to be better through our actions. I forget this so often, but it's really central to forgivness of past actions. It's hope.
so true - thanks for the encouraging word. mutual hugs.
I'm in a fresh batch of fear about my husband's poor health, and grieving my Mom who died in January (sympathy, knitfisher). Last night sleep was short and troubled, ending in anxiety so bad that I blew off sponsor and sponsee calls in the morning - a poor choice that made me feel worse. After prayer and meditation I was able to tackle some work and make amends to my sponsee. Kept meaning to check in here but didn't; that kind of day.
But as I've learned here in PA, I'll not stare at the place I fell any longer but rather pick up, dust off and try again. I can start a new 24 hours anytime. So here goes:
Hi Knitfisher- Just wanted to say I hope you have had a good day and that it sounds like you have alot of difficulties to deal with at the moment. Thinking of you and standing in solidarity with you. I hope that you are taking extra good care of yourself . Solidarity, Hugs, Jallaxo
Thanks. I cannot blame my current lack of forward motion on my mum's death, I had these problems long before her illness. If nothing else losing her has brought other things into a bit more focus, but I still striuggle to hold onto that clarity when I find myself overwhelmed by my feelings and I retreat into the safety of doing nothing.
-Finish 1 part of Opt 242 HW
-Finish another part of Opt 242 HW
-email 242 Professor
-respond to private messages
-two more programming videos
-possibly one chunk of AME textbook
-call Dave B
-call fin aid guy
-Perkins loan entrance counseling
-facebook J about party favors
-schedule for tomorrow
-wrote letter for party location
-signed Perkins loan MPN
Schedule mtg w/DD
Call MR re: objection; LM
Work on OOD re: more time w/N
Figure out RTL path
Draft email to KS re: MW
Draft email to KS re: DD; partially drafted
Draft email to KS re: MM; partially drafted
Email Dr. S re: MM followup
Call Dr. A re: MM
Call JD re: JA
Request RB records
Decline new case
Call LS re: MM cons.
Send belated b'day ecard to HC
Print UA timesheets
Email MH folks re: mtg
Figure out $ re: oil to gas
Call JMC re: mtg tonite
Draft letter to KS re: MW
It seems almost impossible that even though I feel like I've mostly been working, and really can't point to much non-work I've done, I've still only put in 2.5 billable hours & it's 1:15pm. I need to leave in 15 mins to pick up son. Feeling somewhat discouraged & wanting to take a break. Might as well do a couple non-billable tasks that I'm not resistant to.
Closed my last check in by accident. Luckily it was mainly prose I lost, not tasks. I am not doing so well today. My internal drive to do things is better this week, but still pretty weak. I am easily distracted and was very emotional on the weekend about underearning and under performing (what level I am 'under' is likely to be quite another story I think)
Mum is in my thoughts this week too. It's been a fortnight since her house was sold, her birthday was Monday and today it is 9 months since she passed away. I keep with me the spirit of her and what she taught me, although I must also acknoweldge the effect her own troubles have had on my life.
Today I have:
Dear Mole. I hope your eyes get better soon. That sounds very painful! Rest dear friend and take extra good care of yourself. xo
Woke early still with some sort of cold which has lasted for weeks
x Prayer and reflection
x Make and post this list
x Check emails and posts
Out food shopping - I needed to stay in for builders who phoned in the morning to do some much overdue work and I wanted them to get it done so did not get any shopping
x Deal with post if any comes
x Do not overeat
x Tidy up stuff from last few days
x Catch up with self development writing
x Write journal
x Prayer and reflection
Also spoke with a friend on the phone for a long time and arranged to meet with a friend next week to do some work for him - the work is long overdue but it was not me who was putting it off
Bed and sleep
10.39 and I've cleared up and cleaned up, phoned landlords about repair, checked on camera repair and am so tired I can hardly stand up. Am now going to rest and then see what to do next.
21.34 It is early and I am very tired so will go to bed shortly.
I am getting angry about things and using that as an excuse not to get on with what needs to be done. Ask HP to help me release anger and move on.
up, shower and get dressed before 8 am call
8 am call call was a lot tougher than i expected. i choose to see the positives in this.
mail proof of insurance
email T to thank her
email D to see if she will be in the office tomorrow
get ready for B on Thursday
grr just lost my whole check in
thanks so much for thread starting - jalla. I feel as if I am not pulling my weight. Viewing the world through red slits still.
9-12 write with poms - use first bit for review and plan CC, S and morning. Close eyes in pom breaks
close eyes 30 mins
walk to town via E make list
go to imperial for Zafon and King
3 appt with S
prep dates for meeting
5.45 K will pick me up
eat with K?
bed by 11.
THINGS I DID WELL TODAY
THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER
THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR
Thanks for the threadstarter, jalla <3
Send V energy :)
Spiritual time :)
Get ready AM :)
See N re money - tried, he was out
Either go to Roy's for flu shot or reschedule :)
To E's or email :)
Work on website and/or jewellery :)
Email, forums etc :)
Freecycle - bike lock, airer, hair clippers - part done
Housework - washing up, tidying if time
Get ready for bed
Planning time :)
The ’3Ts’ aka ’Timed Task Tomorrow’ method - 3 questions before doing something online:
Is it Timed (set a timer)? Is it a Task? If it's a sudden impulse, can I act on it Tomorrow?
I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone meetings, and my life.
I want to thank jalla for starting this trend.
Things I will do today
1. Go to the 5:45 a.m. telephone ACA meeting
2. Go to the 6:45 a.m. telephone OA meeting
3. Go to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting
4. Cook and eat breakfast
5. Go to the 8:30 telephone UA meeting
6. Go to the 9 a.m. telephone ACA meeting
7. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA activity line
8. Go to the 10 a.m. telephone UA meeting
9. Go to the 11 a.m. telephone PA meeting
10. Take shower
11. Prayer and meditation morning and evening
12. Go to the 12 noon telephone Al-Anon meeting
13. Go to the 1:30 p.m. telephone UA meeting
14. Warm up and eat dinner
15. Go to the 3 p.m. telephone CLA meeting
16. Get dressed
17. Go to work at 5:30 p.m.
18. Go to the 9 p.m. online EA meeting
19. Go to the 9:30 p.m. telephone CLA meeting
Thanks for letting me share
dint forget ktj leaving
deliver docs n
more list later
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