Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Fear of starting

Sooo. . .I really want to be good at guitar or bass. Whenever I go to a concert, I have a hard time focusing on the music because I WISH that was ME. I want to know what that feels like.

But I'm terrified to start. So many people my age have been doing this since they were 12. It doesn't help that I have actual obligations (school, job, my son).

I'm not even sure if this is enough to get me to start. But I feel discouraged. My friend even gave me his old bass and bought be an amp, but I'm terrified to even pick it up. Anyone on here that knows me knows that several people in my life put me down as well and that has led to lots of negative self talk.

Thanks :)


 Hi Katia, Just read don Miguel Ruiz's book again,The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

I so relate to your share, and have been trying to look at new things as a way to personal freedom. , even if I try that thing one time .


"Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do
is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own
reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and
actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."

I know this is easier said than done,but just a thought. You are still ok whether you try it or not.



re: starting new hobbies and careers

Brian May studied Mathematics and Physics graduating with a Bachelor of Science degree.

Then he began began working on his PhD in Astrophysics, by studying reflected light from interplanetary dust and the velocity of dust in the plane of the Solar System.

However, he dropped the PhD study and went in a different direction for over 30 years -- by being the lead guitarist for the rock group "Queen".

In 2005, a Planet Rock poll saw Brian May voted the 7th greatest guitarist of all time.

He was ranked at No. 26 on Rolling Stone magazine's list of the "100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time".

In 2012, Brian May was ranked the 2nd greatest guitarist of all time by a Guitar World magazine readers poll.

Meanwhile, in the year 2006, around the age of 60, he returned to the career of Astrophysics.

He went back to school.  In 2007, he finished his PhD in Astrophysics titled: "A Survey of Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud". The ceremony was in 2008.

He is the co-author of Bang! -- The Complete History of the Universe, which was published in October 2006.

Asteroid "Brianmay" was named in his honour on 18 June 2008.

And MEANWHILE ... in 2007, May was appointed Chancellor of Liverpool John Moores University, and held the post until 2013.

Who says you can't do something different, or change your mind, or learn something new, or do more than one thing with your life?

Brian May also became an animal rights activist.
In 2012, he was appointed to be one of 12 co-vice-presidents of the RSPCA.

addendum re: starting new careers and hobbies

Okay so ...

Brian May wrote the song "We will rock you".

And then 30 years later, he became an astrophysicist and
a space-rock (asteroid) was named after him as "52665 Brianmay".

But that doesn't mean you have to have such astronomical expectations of yourself.

I realize your post was about fear.

Why not give yourself permission to try new things, as a way of loving and honoring your dreams? 

Instead of trying to fight the fear, why not reach for the hope?

thanks moving

I appreciate the example of Brian May. I think it is kind of funny that he went from music to science and I am kind of going from science to music :)

But one thing that holds me back from being inspired by these stories is this voice in my head saying "well Brian May is one of those people that are successful and get things done. You aren't like that, you just screw everything up".

Lately I have been really frustrated that I have tried hard at things and it hasn't paid off :(

But I REALLY appreciate the comments and positive encouragement. Hopefully I'll be able to set some more concrete goals for myself and start soon :)


Yes, I knew about your study of science, so that's why I brought up Brian May.

But remember, you don't have to compare yourself with anyone else.

All of us are imperfect. One gift we can give to the world is to allow our true inner selves to radiate outward, however imperfectly.

You can start learning new musical instruments as best you can, with the time and energy available, and do your bsts for yourself.  You don't have to commit to a career or perfection.  Just focus on the enjoyment of learning a new skill.  And there is no requirement that you do anything. You can begin as an experiement with gently loving yourself.

Your original post of this thread was about the fear of starting.  I think many of us at PA have that.  I realize that it's hard to breathe through the fear, but it can be done, with the support of one another here.

Love this

I LOVE this- so special - thanks for sharing movingalong and go get em, Katia! I also loved what  findingaway wrote about the practice part- and the trombone par!Just what i needed to read tonight. Thanks all!Cool

Katia, you can do it!

I really encourage you to give this a go! You are definitely not too old, and it sounds like something really important for you.

I learnt piano when I was young, and have done some singing in groups, but this last year I started learning trombone and I am 55! It helps that I have a supportive local concert band to play in. I am so glad I started, it has been so much fun! I also find playing music gives me more energy and spirit for my other activities, so it's time well spent.

Maybe I shoudn't be giving advice here, but I would say decide whether you are most passionate about guitar or bass, and then find a good teacher. I know it's another expense, but weekly lessons with a teacher that you like make a big difference - not just learning skills but encouragement, and accountability to another person (I would only say this to a fellow procrastinator!).

I am going to issue one warning here: no one is good with music straight off, however much talent you have. Practice and commitment is what will make you great.

The sooner you start, the sooner you're on the road to enjoying music and playing well.

thanks findingaway

Thanks for the advice :) I should add that I already know how to play the piano so I'm not new to music, but have been discouraged.

Unfortunately my funds are extremely extremely limited but thanks to today's technology there are a lot of great free resources online. Of course that doesn't come with the accountability part (and as a procrastinator and a SAT tutor, I know how important that is!), but that's what PA is for ;)